How far would you travel for a shower?

smileye90

I'm going to make this pretty general because of what happened when I got too specific last time!  However here's my general questions:

How far would you travel for a shower, be it wedding or baby?  Obviously it would depend on the level of friendship, but what would it take for you to get on a plane for a shower?  Would you even do that?  Can anyone justifiably get mad at someone (not a relative) for not coming to a shower if it required a long plane flight, or does this also depend on their closeness/relationship?  

 

rajahmd

For a really close friend or family member, I would fly if I had the money and time.  So for me there would be three variables in deciding whether to go to a shower: relationship, money, and time.  I don't think I would really take the actual distance into account, because that's usually reflected in the cost of traveling and the time it takes to get there. 

DramaGeek

Ditto Stage.  I attended the shower for my cousin's wife, which was across the country, but only because I happened to be in town anyway at the time.  Otherwise, no, I'd never travel that far for a shower.  I think the farthest I've traveled for a shower is 75 minutes driving.

My grandmother's were invited to my showers and didn't attend any of them, even though we're incredibly close.

Summer2011Bride

Ditto Stage. I don't have a sister, but if I did, I might consider flying for her shower (if we were close). Maybe for my very closest friend, but probably not, since like Stage said, I'd most likely be flying to her wedding a short time after.

I would be willing to drive a few hours in the car, but that's probably the limit. Much more just wouldn't be in our budget right now anyway. If I was close to someone and couldn't attend their shower, I would and have mailed gifts though.

dawnp917

I've driven 5 hours for showers in the past. They were in my hometown and for close family members. I stayed with my mom and made a weekend of it. I would only fly for a shower if it was one of my sisters. I would rather attend the actual wedding than the shower. I don't think I would fly for a baby shower.

coopsbaby

I think the only showers I would EVER fly for would be ones thrown for my children, but since they aren't old enough to marry and live with me that's hard to even say. It's pretty likely that I might not even fly for them. 

That being said, I hate showers and you've got to be pretty important to me to go even if it's in my town, so there's that.

NOLAbridealmost

You should NEVER get mad if someone can't attend a shower; whether they live 2 miles or 2000 miles away. It's an invitation, not a subpoena. 

I wouldn't get on a plane for a shower. I don't care who it is. 

HandBanana

I wouldn't fly for a shower.  I would send a gift.

I don't even know if I would drive a few hours.

Starqueg

I've only ever been invited to one bridal and one baby shower, and neither were far away, so I'm not entirely sure how far I'd travel.  If it was for someone really close to me, and I could afford to, I'd probably fly to one.  '

I can understand getting upset with a close friend not attending your shower, but I would never say more than "I'm sorry you aren't able to come, we'll miss you."

jennipea382

I agree with PPs that it really depends. If they are a super close friend or family member and I had the funds, I probably would. Otherwise I would probably just send a gift or bring one to the wedding.

ETA: I don't think I'd be hurt if someone couldn't make it to mine because of distance. I know money can be tight so I'd rather them use the money that would have been spent on coming to the shower on getting a flight and hotel for the wedding.

kmmssg

The ONLY way I would fly for a shower is if it was one of my DDs.  For a friend?  Nope, just send a great gift.  that is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a party and your attendance there isn't what really matters - it is your support and love as a friend.

libby2483

The only way I would fly to a shower or even travel more than four hours by car is if it was my sister.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-far-would-you-travel-for-a-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51649286-9eb0-4c4f-954c-7672b5429a74Post:f6ad3445-03bf-46ed-a88d-2f90c0264ab7">Re: How far would you travel for a shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]Y<strong>ou should NEVER get mad if someone can't attend a shower; whether they live 2 miles or 2000 miles away. It's an invitation, not a subpoena</strong>.  I wouldn't get on a plane for a shower. I don't care who it is. 
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

<div>This there is no reason to EVER to get MAD at someone not flying in for a shower.  Parent or otherwise.</div><div>
</div><div>Personally, it depends on closeness, time and money.  All 3 need to be in-sync.</div><div>
</div><div> I didn't fly in for my BFF's shower because I was in the middle of a very important class.  I had the money and we were close, but timing was not right.    Once I flew in for a not so close friend's shower, but I had the time (was planning on being in the area, arranged it around the shower) and the money.    </div><div>
</div><div>My mom has flown from Norway to Delaware (sister's) and Arizona (twice -  2 SILs) for showers.  She had the time, money and closeness.</div><div>
</div><div>This is not a black and white issue.  However, getting mad at someone should NEVER be a reaction.</div>

MyNameIsNot

I wouldn't even drive across town for a shower if it's a bad traffic day.  No way am I getting on a plane for one.  But then, in my group showers really are about your nearest and dearest.  An invitation to a shower that involved a flight would come off gift grabby anyway. 

There is no justifiable reason to get mad at someone for not going to a shower.  

Kate61487

I'm a little surprised how many of you are saying you'd NEVER fly for a shower.  As long as I had the funds and time I'd fly for a shower for most of my friends.  Hell, I flew to the east coast just to go dress shopping with one of my girls b/c I hadn't seen her in forever.

My MOH flew in for my shower; it was a long weekend so she scheduled the b-party for the same weekend to make it more worth-while

But like PPs said regardless of closeness, relative or not, you should never get MAD that someone can't or won't come.

ILoveToRobot

My answer is other. I would only get on a plane for a sister, possibly a sister in law and possibly a close friend. It all depends on timing, who it is and where it is... Also, if I was even invited. My best friend wasn't invited to my bridal shower since she lives on the opposite coast, we knew she couldn't come and it seemed gift grabby.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-far-would-you-travel-for-a-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51649286-9eb0-4c4f-954c-7672b5429a74Post:b6c2ce5d-9a69-4242-a448-f6ea42291923">Re: How far would you travel for a shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm a little surprised how many of you are saying you'd NEVER fly for a shower.  As long as I had the funds and time I'd fly for a shower for most of my friends.  Hell, I flew to the east coast just to go dress shopping with one of my girls b/c I hadn't seen her in forever. My MOH flew in for my shower; it was a long weekend so she scheduled the b-party for the same weekend to make it more worth-while But like PPs said regardless of closeness, relative or not, you should never get MAD that someone can't or won't come.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

<div>I get what you are saying. Personally, I feel the same way.</div><div>
</div><div>I've always been very transient. Growing up we lived far from family, still do now that I'm an adult.   I find people who are like me are more willing to hop on a plane to see family/friends for less important things than even showers.  </div><div>
</div><div>I find people who tend to have family close by, within driving distance might not be as wiling to do such things.</div><div>
</div><div>Neither is right or wrong, nor is it a hard fast rule.  I just find that some of us that live far away make more of effort for such things because we might have the need to be part of our family/friends lives because we don't get a chance to see them for simple stuff like sunday dinner or a birthday.  </div><div>
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EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-far-would-you-travel-for-a-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51649286-9eb0-4c4f-954c-7672b5429a74Post:b6c2ce5d-9a69-4242-a448-f6ea42291923">Re: How far would you travel for a shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm a little surprised how many of you are saying you'd NEVER fly for a shower.  As long as I had the funds and time I'd fly for a shower for most of my friends.  Hell, I flew to the east coast just to go dress shopping with one of my girls b/c I hadn't seen her in forever. My MOH flew in for my shower; it was a long weekend so she scheduled the b-party for the same weekend to make it more worth-while But like PPs said regardless of closeness, relative or not, you should never get MAD that someone can't or won't come.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

<div>Although I voted "never," you make a good point: if I had funds and time, and could make it a full vacation--why not? It just seems like that's doubtful in my immediate financial future!</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>But in answer to OP's original question, I'm guessing that right now I'd max out at around 6 hours of driving, which I would do for my <em>best </em>friends if I had to.</div>