I love all of your viewpoints, even when they are different than mine-it helps to open my eyes to something I may not have thought of...so perhaps you can tell me whether I handled this appropriately or not.
For our bridal party we are allowing everyone who is single to bring a date and to allow those to have a signifigant other to bring them (duh). Now, my one single bridesmaid asked to bring a girlfriend of hers, rather than a date as she said she was trying to fix the girl up with a mutual guy friend of ours who is also invited to the wedding. She wanted me to sit them together in order to give them a chance to get to know one another-I said, that's fine...I had already calculated the cost into the budget so it works.
That was back in February and the other day we are talking. She says that she invited so and so to the bachelorette party and that she hopes I don't mind. I'm sure that you guys will tell me its not proper etiquette, but my MOH had asked if some of the girls could bring guests that weren't invited to the wedding to the bachelorette party since some of the girls don't know anyone else that well, besides me. I had told her that it was fine by me as long as they don't cause drama/fights and that its within their budget of what they want to do. I'm pretty much along the lines of the more the merrier for a bachelorette party-LOL.
Anyways, the one bridesmaid invited the girl who was going to be her date to the bachelorette party, plus she said she was going to invite another girl who is supposed to be our mutual friend's date to the wedding.....ummmm what? I'm thinking to myself that I thought YOUR date was supposed to kinda be his date. I explain to her that we were not planning to give the guy a date (he is single and is not seeing anyone) and that it costs X amount per plate. If I did that for him, then I would have to do it for every single guest (which we just can't afford)-it was really a benefit just for the bridal party. She apologized and said that she will give the guy a heads up that he can't have a date.
I found out later from my MOH that she had set this up back in February (way before the bachelorette party even started to get planned)-MOH thought I knew about it which is why she never told me. Now, I am wondering who else she might have invited or said that they can bring a date? It just severely irritated me because she had said the girl she was bringing was who she wanted to set the guy up with plus she had just recently told me that she can't afford to get me a bridal shower gift or wedding gift (yes, I realize they are gifts so they should not be expected). However, it seems kinda rude that she has no problem spending our money for the wedding....
Re-cap: did I handle this appropriately letting her know that he does not get a date (which I also apologized for) and I really do like the guy but we just can't do it. Also, explained why we can't allow every single person to have a date due to budget reasons. We also didn't leave it up to her to let the guy know....my FI handled it very tactfully with the guy. The guy didn't even care as apparently the bridesmaid had suggested it which makes it sound like she just wants HER friends there to party with for free....