Anyone else have this happen?? (venting sorry!)

omglah247

You tell co-worker or someone you haven't talked to in a while that you are engaged... & they say "You better invite me to the wedding!" or "Can I come to the wedding?" when you have no intention of inviting them?? Totally akward & un-called for in my book! Seems like I have people I haven't talked to in forever all of a sudden want to hang out now that I'm getting married!!! So annoyinggg!!!!! AHHHHH!!!

jerseydevil

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-else-this-happen-venting-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52ea6d86-f5a8-4cdf-834d-620dade220c6Post:7f701eea-ee4d-4fd2-a4da-6f09d15de38a">Anyone else have this happen?? (venting sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]You tell co-worker or someone you haven't talked to in a while that you are engaged... & they say "You better invite me to the wedding!" or "Can I come to the wedding?" when you have no intention of inviting them?? Totally akward & un-called for in my book! Seems like I have people I haven't talked to in forever all of a sudden want to hang out now that I'm getting married!!! So annoyinggg!!!!! AHHHHH!!!
Posted by omglah247[/QUOTE]

I agree with you that it's awkward and annoying when people do that.

Tell them that you are keeping it small and intimate and avoid talking about your plans around them.

Beachy730

Yep it happens to everyone.  It sucks and people don't realize how rude it is.  Don't talk about the wedding with anyone not invited, and when people do say something you can either change the subject, say something like "we haven't even looked into our guest list yet," or be direct and say "unfortunately we won't be able to celebrate with everyone we would like to."

baystateapple

I think it's happened to most, if not all of us.

It's rude, but try to let it roll off your back.  I agree with PP, try not to talk about your plans around them, and if they ask again, just say "I'm sorry, but we're keeping it to close friends and family only."

mgietler76

Ha ha I've been having people from work tell me that they were gonna crash my wedding! I told them go ahead but I'm not feeding you, lol I've just been making a joke of it since they know I'm only inviting my bosses.

georgia_bride09

Okay, totally not that big of a deal.

Just laugh it off; they'll get the message when they don't get an invite.

arv266

I take it with a grain of salt and not so much that they really want to come, but don't have anything else to say.   I make a point of not responding to rude comments, so they get the idea.  Congratulations would be appropriate, but some people lack that skill.  I've had people ask us where the wedding was, so that they could crash.  It doesn't phase us.   

kikibaby

CALM DOWN

ichellemay1

Ditto PPs.  Just don't talk about it infront of them.  If it comes again - use any of those responses.  They should get the hint.

omglah247

It's not that I'm that upset... just annoyed! I'm not freaking out. haha sorry some of you took it that way. I was just making sure I wasn't the only one that has this happening! Thanks for the nicer responses. I just laugh at them & say I haven't compiled to list yet.

georgia_bride09

All the responses were nice.

[Deleted User]

My cousin got married last Saturday and her grandfather on her Dad's side (her dad and my aunt have been divorced for 15 years and I probably havent seen her Dad in 10 years...and I have NO CLUE when the last time I saw her grandpa was) he told me... "we hope we get the chance to dance the night away at your wedding"
um. WHAT? He caught me totally off guard I think I just said "ok".. haha

Birdie1483

OP, if you stick around for a bit, you'll be able to start picking up on when people are being sarcastic instead of mean.

As for your question, yes it happened to me and it was very awkward. I would give more details, but I'm paranoid about people I know IRL lurking on here. My advice to you would be what PP said. Don't talk about your wedding to people that aren't invited and do what you said about you haven't figured out the guest list yet.

Mrs.B6302007

what?  I've never hear this before!

;-)

mgietler76

Lurk a little more so you can get a better feel for the boards so you know how to spot sarcastic font.

omglah247

Sorry... just the CALM DOWN & totally not that big of a deal kinda seemed not nice. I guess I will just have to get used to that!

Anyways, I will take your advices!!

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-else-this-happen-venting-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52ea6d86-f5a8-4cdf-834d-620dade220c6Post:82ea2de8-1677-4ceb-b199-5953e1e9a8ae">Re: Anyone else have this happen?? (venting sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry... just the <strong>CALM DOWN</strong> & totally not that big of a deal kinda seemed not nice. I guess I will just have to get used to that! :) Anyways, I will take your advices!!
Posted by omglah247[/QUOTE]

It's kind of a running joke around here.  Stick around; you'll get it.  ;)

kikibaby

Putting multiple punctuation marks after every sentence, and ending the paragraphs with "AHHHH!!!!!" implies a massive overreaction.

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-else-this-happen-venting-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52ea6d86-f5a8-4cdf-834d-620dade220c6Post:7bd89412-2ad3-4214-bc8f-373e6b8ae235">Re: Anyone else have this happen?? (venting sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Putting multiple punctuation marks after every sentence, and ending the paragraphs with "AHHHH!!!!!" implies a massive overreaction.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Or overeager puppy?

Don't kick puppies, Kiki.  It's mean.  ;)

Bridgebo117

I have people ask me at work every day how it goes.  Every. Single. Day.  Not much changes over the course of the 12 hours a day i'm NOT with them.  But they ask.  I work at a school, and I provide services with many people in many classrooms during the course of the day. It would be impossible to invite them all... So I, personally, will not invite any.  But I think some of them are just being "nice" and asking about it, because I'm sure they think that its what YOU think/want to talk about (which isn't always the case), and may not expect anything other than friendly banter, as a PP has said.

Some, though, with the outward "I'm so excited to see you in your dress! Can't wait for your wedding. Am I invited?" do bother me.  The one in particular at my place of business is relentless and wants to help plan and geek at all my engagement pictures.  I don't bring up weddings around anyone here, but especially her.  Best advice is to be short and sweet, and even if you ARE having a big ol' bash with 400 people, say its really only family and friends of the family that will be coming.  Just don't show them/post pictures on FB of your gala.  They'll forget about it.

omglah247

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-else-this-happen-venting-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52ea6d86-f5a8-4cdf-834d-620dade220c6Post:2ad70e5a-6172-4bff-83a6-a21aef8a638b">Re: Anyone else have this happen?? (venting sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]I have people ask me at work every day how it goes.  Every. Single. Day.  Not much changes over the course of the 12 hours a day i'm NOT with them.  But they ask.  I work at a school, and I provide services with many people in many classrooms during the course of the day. It would be impossible to invite them all... So I, personally, will not invite any.  But I think some of them are just being "nice" and asking about it, because I'm sure they think that its what YOU think/want to talk about (which isn't always the case), and may not expect anything other than friendly banter, as a PP has said. Some, though, with the outward "I'm so excited to see you in your dress! Can't wait for your wedding. Am I invited?" do bother me.  The one in particular at my place of business is relentless and wants to help plan and geek at all my engagement pictures.  I don't bring up weddings around anyone here, but especially her.  Best advice is to be short and sweet, and even if you ARE having a big ol' bash with 400 people, say its really only family and friends of the family that will be coming.  Just don't show them/post pictures on FB of your gala.  They'll forget about it.
Posted by Bridgebo117[/QUOTE]

Oh no, not 400 or something like that! haha! We are having 100-120, depending if everyone we invite come. A lot are out of state so I'm not sure about them. My sitaution is about the same as yours about people at work! I don't bring it up, everyone else does. So I just try to cut the convo short, ya know?

samanthajeremy

I've had this problem as well at my work place.  If I were going to invite all my co-workers I'd be sending over 65 invites, I'm a nurse and have a large group that work on my Unit.  I've chosen to invite only 3 of my closest co-workers.  I will be sending the invited directly to their house and putting an invitation for the dance in the office break room with all the other invites.  With the ecomony we are in and all the weddings and such we have happening every year I don't think anybody will be hurt with not getting an invitation to the ceremony and dinner first.

briamy

I had two people I have hardly seen in the past few years straight out ask me to be invited the second they actually saw me in person after I got engaged and again it was the first time I had seen either of them in forever! People just don't get it and realize how rude it can be, but it happens! Although I'll never understand it because I would never assume I was going to be invited to anyone's wedding let alone ask to be invited! What can you do, some people just get overly excited with good news I guess:)

squeakyduck

Yes, this has happened to me! 

A girl I go to school with and have hung out with outside of class, maybe three times keeps saying, in a jokey tone, "well i'd better be invited!" I was completely thrown the first time she said it and I couldn't think of anything to say! (because yes, she has said it more than once!) I know that she has some sort of social skills problem and doesn't understand that she was being rude, but I also know that she honestly expects an invitation. I really don't want to invite her, because this list is already hovering just shy of 300 people and she won't know anyone except me. Plus, we really aren't that close. 

I'm hoping that by the time I send the invites, she won't remember. I doubt we'll see each other anytime after graduation and the wedding will be at least 5 months after that. 

I just feel so guilty about this! 

Kristin789

Answer for bride-to-be:
"Oh, no.  My parents are hosting the wedding, and they've finished the guest list."

Answer for groom-to-be:
"Oh, no.  Bride's parents are hosting the wedding, and they've finished the guest list."