Money Dance?

mslokes

I keep hearing about a "money dance". My venue and DJ were asking if we wanted to have one. My FI likes the idea, but I don't know that I'm comfortable with it. They say it is presented in a nce manner and money is not required. It's just an opportunity for you to get time with guests one on one, but I don't know... Help!

SarahnVinny

I am not doing one but my fiances grandmother keeps insisting we do one. She says its tradition and was offended when I told her I would not be doing one. I just don't get them.

mslokes

I agree. I think I'm just going to pass on this one...

stephasuasu

Tacky, don't do it!!!

srkropf

I think it's weird to do, I'm not doing it. My cousin did it at her wedding and it was kinda awkward and sparse 

DramaGeek

It's definitely a regional thing.  In some areas it's expected, in others it's very rare.  I live in a place where you don't see it much, and when we do see it, people in my family and circle of friends tend to give it the side-eye.

SD3194

Kirsten-I'm from "down south" and I've never seen a money dance. I always thought it was a northern/midwest thing.

Summer2011Bride

I'm from the Midwest and have seen it done twice. I personally have a couple issues with it.
By calling it the "dollar dance" (which is what it was called both times I witnessed it), people really kind of are pressured into giving money, esp. when the MOH and best man and standing there holding bags to collect it. That is awkward and a little tacky to me.

Second, it is a HUGE time sucker. Like it took literally 20-25 min. to get through everyone and like 8 or 9 songs. For those of us who didn't participate or once you do, it's a lot of standing around being bored while the dance floor is closed.

I think if you want to make one-on-one time for guests they shouldn't feel they have to pay for it. It should be casual, like stopping by tables or just going up and asking the bride or groom to dance. Again, just my opinion and why we're not doing one.

artbyallie

Count me in as another Southerner who's never seen a money dance. I had never even heard of it before coming on TK. If it's regional, it's teeny tiny regions scattered all over the place because I've seen this argument start on here before.

MissLeahM

A lot of people do it here, but I don't like it because I'm not comfortable with the idea of paying someone to dance with me (kinda like a stripper if you will) so I told the DJ I didn't want it, and I was clear with my family that it wasn't happening and even though they insisted, I didn't budge. 

aMrsin09

I think it may be more of a cultural thing than a regional thing.  I'm Italian and my family brings money to the weddings JUST for the dollar dance.  I've rarely, if ever, have seen only dollars given.  People in my circle tend to get upwards of a thousand. 

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-dance-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52fbdc9d-c449-43ba-8871-1c6cc8f81de9Post:1a6149d1-94a2-4847-9d11-4dc3a6eb5a12">Re: Money Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Money Dance? : I totally agree. I know down south where Im from it's tradition to have a money dance. I haven't decided whether or not I want one but if  YOU feel comfortable doing it then go ahead! If not then don't. It's yall's wedding do what feels right.
Posted by Kirstenl[/QUOTE]


Since when is Cincinnati down south? I am from the south east and I had never even heard of a money dance until the knot.

OP, if you don't feel comfortable doing this then don't.

bdulli13

I have only ever been to one wedding when they did this, but I had no idea what was going on. If it isn't commonplace in your circle, I strongly advise against it. No one will understand, everyone will be bored, and people may think, "Really? On top of the generous gift, I am expected to pay to dance with her?"

Personally, I thought it was lame, but if that's what they do in your group, then that's what they do. Do not do it just because the DJ says so.

janicejab

  I don't plan on doing this and FI has said we will not do this. I'm from the midwest and have seen it at a few weddings (in MI, CA, MO, PA). I've never looked down on the couple for doing it, and I have participated. However, I personally would feel cheap and tacky for asking people for money when they've already done so much to spend the day with me and my FI. I also don't want to close down the dance floor so other people can't dance or feel uncomfortable doing so.

Ashley9+10+11

i love the dollar dance, and around here its like a tradition. i was talking to FI and my mom and asking there opinions on this because of how it is such a tuchy subject on here, and they both had the same feeling as i did that its just in fun and its a tradition.  i have never been to a wedding up here that has not had one, and honestly i think if i ever went to one that didnt have one when i left i think i would wonder how come they didnt...

mslokes

Thank you ladies! I talked to my fiancé about it last night and we decided not to do it It's really not my thing...

melinidm

A friend of mine did a "dollar's worth of advice dance" instead of a dollar dance. It was a blast. The fee for dancing was to pop a note with well-wishes in their basket. It was probably a fun souvenir for them too.

DramaGeek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-dance-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52fbdc9d-c449-43ba-8871-1c6cc8f81de9Post:69cec0f7-4534-4f21-a044-e4a2cad95dcd">Re: Money Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not about the money.  It's about wishing the couple well.  The bride and groom don't "make" much money. I'd be interested to know how many people abhor the idea of a dollar dance but will still have the gauche practice of rooting around the dress for a garter... Classy! 
Posted by pearlaqua[/QUOTE]

Well, we didn't do either because we don't like either one.  I also don't like the idea of pressuring my single friends into catching a bouquet so I never tossed one.  Oh the horror.

Of course, rather than a dollar dance, one could just pass the bride's shoe for a money collection like one of H's relatives did.  I wish I were joking.

CvilleClaire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-dance-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52fbdc9d-c449-43ba-8871-1c6cc8f81de9Post:bd9c01f1-fb4a-4820-87f8-7627c8d09aba">Re: Money Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it may be more of a cultural thing than a regional thing.  I'm Italian and my family brings money to the weddings JUST for the dollar dance.  I've rarely, if ever, have seen only dollars given.  People in my circle tend to get upwards of a thousand. 
Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

I was under the same impression.  I always heard about it being an Italian thing.

It even got mentioned in the 10,000 Manics/Natalie Merchant song, Sister Rose.  It's a cute song...some of you might like it.  :)

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMgxQmIVFNM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMgxQmIVFNM</a>

<em>Big ,big plans are being made
for my sisters wedding day
we'll have a ball at the Sons of Roma Hall
family, friends come one and all </em>

***
<em>Uncle Sam and Uncle Joe take their places in the row
they're standing by side to side
<strong>for dollar dances with the bride </strong>


</em>

MyNameIsNot

Count me as another southerner to rebuke the idea that they are common here.  I live in Georgia, about as southern as it gets.  Seriously, I know people that refer to the civil war as the "War of Northern Aggression."  I've seen a total of 1 dollar dance here.  You would have died if you had seen all the southern ladies clutching their pearls!  

Definitely not acceptable in the south.  

bdulli13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-dance-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52fbdc9d-c449-43ba-8871-1c6cc8f81de9Post:69cec0f7-4534-4f21-a044-e4a2cad95dcd">Re: Money Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not about the money.  It's about wishing the couple well.  The bride and groom don't "make" much money. I'd be interested to know how many people abhor the idea of a dollar dance but will still have the gauche practice of rooting around the dress for a garter... Classy! 
Posted by pearlaqua[/QUOTE]

I too think those make for some awkward moments, but it seems like a lot of people look forward to them still, which is okay with me if that's what they want.

Personally, I am not doing that or the bouquet toss. I have been yelled at by brides for not wanting to catch the bouquet; I have seen the outcome of the two end up in an girl and her ex boyfriend, while her new boyfriend stood by and watched, to EVERYONE'S discomfort,; I have watched little five year old Billy catch a piece of cloth that was about six inches from Cousin Sally's hoo hah that represents something somewhat naughty.

No thanks. LOL.