what to do what to do!???

aroosgabby

my sis is going to be my MOH, but she just got enagaged, and is planning (if all her divorce papers come back in time) on getting remarried around the same time as me. my wedding is in june, she wants to do hers in may!

my question is, assuming all her paperwork comes through and she is allowed to get remarried in the church, how is she going to stand in my wedding if shes going to be planning her own wedding?

this changes everything now, her children were supposed to be the ring boy/fg in my wedding, and now she wants them to stand up in hers.

what should i do? my wedding is in june, she says she wont find out til after jan. about her papers. i need to have her dress picked out, the invitations, flowers, everything prepared in accordance to her color.

aroosgabby

and since my dress is mermaid, its gona piss me off if she does her wedding before mine, because she wants a mermaid dress too!

Beachy730

Her having a wedding a month before yours should have no bearing on whether she could buy a dress and stand up in yours.  Or her kids.  All she needs to do is buy a dress and show up.  And she could save money by having her kids wear the same outfit to both. 

I truly don't think it changes a thing.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:1b92fca5-9a87-4db1-9e8b-6691d0ceeae7">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]and since my dress is mermaid, its gona piss me off if she does her wedding before mine, because she wants a mermaid dress too!
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]

This is the problem.  I think you're just pissed that she is planning her wedding before yours. 

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:f80d6fce-9069-4192-b143-c3f65688b071">what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]my sis is going to be my MOH, but she just got enagaged, and is planning (if all her divorce papers come back in time) on getting remarried around the same time as me. my wedding is in june, she wants to do hers in may! my question is, assuming all her paperwork comes through and she is allowed to get remarried in the church, how is she going to stand in my wedding if shes going to be planning her own wedding? this changes everything now, her children were supposed to be the ring boy/fg in my wedding, and now she wants them to stand up in hers. what should i do? my wedding is in june, she says she wont find out til after jan. about her papers. i need to have her dress picked out, the invitations, flowers, everything prepared in accordance to her color.
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]

JIC

andy71781

ditto everything that dnb says.  You sound like you are being a spoiled brat.

brilibby4

I don't understand how this would interfere with your wedding at all.  Why would she be unable to be in your wedding with her children just because she is getting married as well?  I don't get it.

lisaandcorey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:f80d6fce-9069-4192-b143-c3f65688b071">what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]my sis is going to be my MOH, but she just got enagaged, and is planning (if all her divorce papers come back in time) on getting remarried around the same time as me. my wedding is in june, she wants to do hers in may! my question is, assuming all her paperwork comes through and she is allowed to get remarried in the church, how is she going to stand in my wedding if shes going to be planning her own wedding? this changes everything now, her children were supposed to be the ring boy/fg in my wedding, and now she wants them to stand up in hers. what should i do? my wedding is in june, she says she wont find out til after jan. about her papers.<strong> i need to have her dress picked out, the invitations, flowers, everything prepared in accordance to her color.</strong>
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]

Huh?

tidetravel

This is a joke, right?

Snippylynn

Uh, first off, to the OP:


Secondly, chick with the picture of a CROTCH.... no.  Just, no.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:2ea3a078-5721-453d-9de6-756611d107ea">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh, first off, to the OP: <strong>Secondly, chick with the picture of a CROTCH.... no.  Just, no.</strong>
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]
I was thinking that, but too flabbergasted to actually speak.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:97bf1461-94c3-4dee-b22f-30899df82961">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: what to do what to do!??? : I was thinking that, but too flabbergasted to actually speak.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

Who are you and what have you done with the REAL Tide?!

lisaandcorey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:2ea3a078-5721-453d-9de6-756611d107ea">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh, first off, to the OP:<strong> Secondly, chick with the picture of a CROTCH.... no.  Just, no.</strong>
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

Oh yes to the crotch! IIt was requested from some posters on another board after I shared that I was eye raped weekly by a coworker with some awful mooseknuckle on casual Friday.  I was asked to provide evidence.  I was about to take it down anyway...bad enough I have to see it every Friday.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:f80d6fce-9069-4192-b143-c3f65688b071">what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]my sis is going to be my MOH, but she just got enagaged, and is planning (if all her divorce papers come back in time) on getting remarried around the same time as me. my wedding is in june, she wants to do hers in may! my question is, assuming all her paperwork comes through and she is allowed to get remarried in the church, how is she going to stand in my wedding if shes going to be planning her own wedding? this changes everything now, her children were supposed to be the ring boy/fg in my wedding, and now she wants them to stand up in hers. what should i do? my wedding is in june, she says she wont find out til after jan. about her papers. i need to have her dress picked out, the invitations, flowers, everything prepared in accordance to her color.
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]


I take it you and your sister made up after you had a big, bad falling out  and she said she didn't want to be your MOH anymore? 

You AND your sister sound like big, hot, messes.  Please to be continuing to train wreck in front of us.  It's amusing.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:a6e97ae6-92f7-45b7-affa-0045194608e2">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: what to do what to do!??? : Oh yes to the crotch! IIt was requested from some posters on another board after I shared that I was eye raped weekly by a coworker with some awful mooseknuckle on casual Friday.  I was asked to provide evidence.  I was about to take it down anyway...bad enough I have to see it every Friday.
Posted by lisaandcorey[/QUOTE]
Well that's just special.  Thanks so much. *side eye*

lisaandcorey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:37e33a37-03ca-42c8-abab-172a2d87a81c">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: what to do what to do!??? : Well that's just special.  Thanks so much. *side eye*
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

Very special indeed.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:ef3f9cf6-672f-42ee-bd9e-0c95044a95e5">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: what to do what to do!??? : Who are you and what have you done with the REAL Tide?!
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]
I didn't get much sleep last night.  I was staring at it, thinking, "Should I say something?  What should I say?  Should I make  joke?  Just say, 'Ewww?' I don't really know what to say to that..."

Thank you, Corey, for ending the eyerape session.

[Deleted User]

What is this crotch you are all talking about?

Snippylynn

It was a crotch shot of some guy in jeans.  Thankfully, it has been removed.

vixey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:f80d6fce-9069-4192-b143-c3f65688b071">what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE] i need to have her dress picked out, the invitations, flowers, everything prepared in accordance to her color.
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]
Are you picking these things out for her wedding? Why are you planning her wedding? If these are things you are doing for your wedding, why do her color selections matter?  I'm so confused.  Why not try being happy for your sister?  See how that works out for you.

shortee426

What's the problem?  My brother is getting married 3 weeks after me and we are both standing in each other's ceremonies.  Perhaps we're more mature than you, but we are able to set aside our wedding planning/newly wed lives for just a few hours in order to share in each other's joy.

Was I supposed to make a post here crying about how my brother is stealing my thunder by getting married so close to me rather than being happy for him?

EDITED for grammar.

aroosgabby

no amount of words can explain the complexity of this situation right now. i guess my attempt to do so only left me sounding like a spoiled, jealous, annoying, brat.

i just wanted to read peoples advice, or guessed maybe someone had been in a situation like this before.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:a914a7ea-70c6-412a-9297-0ee31d00b066">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]no amount of words can explain the complexity of this situation right now. i guess my attempt to do so only left me sounding like a spoiled, jealous, annoying, brat. i just wanted to read peoples advice, or guessed maybe someone had been in a situation like this before.
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]

Nobody is really understanding what the "situation" is.  If you feel there is more we should no, then please explain.

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:a914a7ea-70c6-412a-9297-0ee31d00b066">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]no amount of words can explain the complexity of this situation right now. i guess my attempt to do so only left me sounding like a spoiled, jealous, annoying, brat. i just wanted to read peoples advice, or guessed maybe someone had been in a situation like this before.
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]
No, it's not a complex situation.  She can still be in your wedding even if she is getting married the month prior.  That is as simple.  The only way to make this situation complex is add a bunch of unnecessary drama.  Unless there are extreme extenuating circumstances which you should include in your posts.

Plenty of girls get married within weeks/months of other family members.  Life goes on, they both get married, all is well with the world.

mica178

Unless your sister was planning on a honeymoon that would have her out of town on your wedding day, I don't see the problem.

Most people don't really remember the decorations and dress at weddings.  They remember if they enjoyed themselves and had fun at the reception and if they couple seemed happy.  I wouldn't worry if you have the same flower girl and ring bearer (if anything, people would think that's cute).  And I doubt people would think twice about both of you wearing mermaid dresses.  Or if you had similar wedding colors.

Be happy that you both found your loves.

DramaGeek

I'm really confused as to what her getting married (or not) has to do with your wedding colors, your wedding flowers, etc.  I also think that with a month between weddings you can easily stand up for each other and her kids can easily be in both weddings.

Obviously we're not getting the "complexity" of the situation because you're not telling us anything remotely complex.  If there are more details, spill.

aroosgabby

as far as the colors thing go, they are different colors, mine pink, hers blue? the thing is, now there are too many things happening at once to have any kind of direction. will she have time to go to the stores with me to find a MOH dress of her, since she has kids, and her own wedding to be concerned with now? is she going to have time to help with my wedding, or will she just kick me to the curb and deal with hers?

i guess this is all premature right now since theres no date set. but these are still real concerns. she told me she wanted me to be a part of her wedding, but she decided not to because shes concerned with my schedule and if i will have enough time to be involved, since i am moving after i get married, and/or that i might be too exhausted to do it.

so, if shes thinking that about me, being too tired or whatever, then wouldnt the same be true for her? this is what im trying to find out

DramaGeek

nope.  Doubtful.  And really, the only thing any bridal party member has to do is show up at the correct venue at the correct time wearing the correct attire.  Period, end of story.  There are no other "duties" that come with being a member of a wedding party.

aroosgabby

ok.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:7e692e39-77e3-4bf3-80fa-2e6e19830618">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]as far as the colors thing go, they are different colors, mine pink, hers blue? the thing is, now there are too many things happening at once to have any kind of direction. will she have time to go to the stores with me to find a MOH dress of her, since she has kids, and her own wedding to be concerned with now?<strong> is she going to have time to help with my wedding,</strong> or will she just kick me to the curb and deal with hers? i guess this is all premature right now since theres no date set. but these are still real concerns. she told me she wanted me to be a part of her wedding, but she decided not to because shes concerned with my schedule and if i will have enough time to be involved, since i am moving after i get married, and/or that i might be too exhausted to do it. so, if shes thinking that about me, being too tired or whatever, then wouldnt the same be true for her? this is what im trying to find out
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]

The bolded part is what I thought might have been your concern.  Simple answer, she has no required duties as MOH.  MOH's and BM's are not unpaid help, and are not required to do anything for your wedding other than buy the dress and show up.  Is she your only attendant?  You can just give her a color and let her get whatever dress she wants.  And unless she magically sprouted these kids out since she got engaged, then her she would have had the same issues with dress shopping before.  This really isn't nearly as big of an issue as you're making it.  As for what she said to you, if you're thinking she had a hidden agenda then just say "I was thinking about your reasoning for not having me be a BM, and was wanted to know if you felt that you would be too busy now to be my MOH?"  If she says no, then drop it. 

So whats the real reason behind this post?  Are you pissed that she didn't make you her MOH in return?  Are you pissed that she wants the same style dress?  Are you pissed she's having her wedding before you?  Or all of the above? 

brilibby4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f42dab-59dd-4354-b378-55985821b540Post:7e692e39-77e3-4bf3-80fa-2e6e19830618">Re: what to do what to do!???</a>:
[QUOTE]as far as the colors thing go, they are different colors, mine pink, hers blue? the thing is, now there are too many things happening at once to have any kind of direction. will she have time to go to the stores with me to find a MOH dress of her, since she has kids, and her own wedding to be concerned with now? is she going to have time to help with my wedding, or will she just kick me to the curb and deal with hers? i guess this is all premature right now since theres no date set. but these are still real concerns. she told me she wanted me to be a part of her wedding, but she decided not to because shes concerned with my schedule and if i will have enough time to be involved, since i am moving after i get married, and/or that i might be too exhausted to do it. so, if shes thinking that about me, being too tired or whatever, then wouldnt the same be true for her? this is what im trying to find out
Posted by aroosgabby[/QUOTE]

Sounds to me like you need to talk to HER about this.  However, please remember that the only "requirements" of being a MOH is buying/wearing a dress and showing up to the wedding.  She does not need to attend any other events with you.  If you are concerned she is feeling overwhellmed, how about you ask her if she is feeling that way instead of making assumptions?