We are getting married in another state and I have a large family. All of my personal guests would have to fly there. We have the guest list all planned out and we can only have 50 people at our reception.
Unfortunately over the holiday, my father demanded that I invite all of his siblings and their spouses. This was not the original plan. In fact, I am only close to 2 of them and I didn't invite those 2, because I believe it's all or none. My mother is my maid-of-honor and of course, she supports my father in this. They are not paying for the wedding, although my mother did choose to pay for my dress($287). If I say no, my father will hold an endless grudge. I tried to explain that the venue has a limit and that it's not ok to go over. Their arguement is based on the fact that most of our invited guests, will probably not attend due to cost or poor health.
My question is this. Is there any proper way that I can go about getting an idea from my guests if they intend on flying out, without seeming tacky? I understand the point my parents have made, but with the additions our guest list is at 67 and that's assuming no one tries to add 1.