Extended Family: To Inivite or Not to Invite?

IslanderBride

We have chosen a gorgeous venue but the only downside is we can only invite 24 guests to our wedding. My fiance isn't inviting any extended family, just his parents and some close friends. I have 3 sets of aunts and uncles and 3 adult cousins. Unfortunately there is only enough room on the guest list to invite my aunts and uncles but not my cousins and their spouses.

My parents think not inviting the cousins will upset my extended family so I'm not sure what to do. Here are my 2 options:

1. Invite the aunts and uncles but not the cousins

2. Don't invite any extended family and have a dinner party a month or two after the wedding in our home town for all the extended family.

I only see my extended family once or twice a year, usually at Christmas but it appears that the whole extended family is expecting an invite. What do I do??

jessicabessica

I would just do #1.  I think having the dinner afterwards will only emphasize that they weren't invited to the wedding, and if you're not that close to them anyway, there's no reason to do it.

melanieky

Just invite the aunts and uncles, if anyone asks just tell them you are having a small wedding and could only accommodate so many guests.

thurmanpowell

I would do number 1.

Matter of fact my step-cousin got married last weekend and did this... there were no hurt feelings.

achiduck

I would just stick with aunts and uncles.

Meegles4

I would do aunts and uncles or possibly none if you feel like your cousins are going to get hurt about it. I have some cousins I'd be sad if I weren't invited to their wedding but my parents were...and others that I don't care as much about.

If you stick with aunts/uncles, just explain to anyone who asks why you're keeping things small.

amyelise25

What is more important to you?  Having the cousins there on your wedding day or having your wedding at this beatiful venue that only has limited seating? 

I had a similar situation where at first I wanted a smaller location that would have meant eliminating cousins.  But then I thought about how much I wanted them with me that day and I dropped my ideal location and went searching for another location that would fit almost everyone (I still had to cut some close friends). 

But I own my decision for having a smaller wedding (50 ppl) and that is something you will have to do.  Most people will respect your wishes when you say that you are having a small wedding.  And don't feel that you have to explain or justify it.  Or that you have to host something else to make those that are left out feel better about not being a part of it. 

This also means that you will get a smaller shower and bachelorrette party.  But I am excited about that! 

Loopyseven

I'd either do aunts and uncles only or do no extended family (but also, no party) if you're not that close to the aunts/uncles.  With a venue that small, it's easy to explain why you kept the guest list so limited.

renascencey

I would do whatever feels right to you. If you don't want to compromise your vision for the wedding and want to stick with your chosen venue, then invite just your aunts and uncles. Do not allow anyone to guilt you into doing something you don't want to do. This includes being guilted into inviting the cousins and subsequently going over budget or having to select a new venue. It is impossible to please everyone so just do what seems best to you and your fiance!

SB1512

I would do option 1.  If the aunts and uncles are that offended, they don't have to come.  However, if you and FI do not live together currently, or will be planning to buy a new home, etc I think it would be fine to throw an open house party and invite extended family members to come visit with your and your husband in your new home.  If you already live together/own a home then just stick with option 1.