FB & Family

tigger9922

I'm just curious what everyone's take on this is...

What do you do when family members you would just soon never speak to again keep requesting you as a friend on FB?  It may sound kind of harsh, but these are just people I would rather not have knowing my business or even my wherabouts.  Some of my more forgiving family members are acting like I'm being a big meanie, but I think I have a right to my internet privacy (realizing the oxymoron here) and don't want to have to put an hour of thought into any and all postings on my FB page.  So WDYD?

betrothed123

I'd block them so they can't see your page or continue to send you requests.

SwedishChick2011

I voted on the third option, but another thing you could do is accept them and then later defriend them.  They probably won't even notice.

temerityjane

I'd dump them in the same group I dump people I went to high school with. Fine, we're e-friends, but I'm not revealing all my business to someone I have no real desire to speak to.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I sometimes just ignore them if I'm indifferent to the person. So I have abut 5 requests still in my inbox.

goheels05

If you don't accept them or decline them, just leave them in your inbox, they can't keep re-requesting.  That's what I do to ex boyfriends.  It's called facebook rot.

For family, or rather, friends of my parents, professional acquaintences, etc, I put them in a group where the privacy settings keep them from seeing my status updates, photos, anything else I'd rather them not have access to.  I think facebook rot is a bit harsh for family members, personally. 

danieliza1127

I would either block them and be done with it, or accept them and then make it so they can't see anything at all on my profile (which is pointless to me, so I guess I would just block them).

crfische

My family rocks, so they are all added.

tigger9922

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:94d6b0c3-916a-41c1-870c-bf0dfc1705ca">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]If you don't accept them or decline them, just leave them in your inbox, they can't keep re-requesting.  That's what I do to ex boyfriends.  It's called facebook rot. For family, or rather, friends of my parents, professional acquaintences, etc, I put them in a group where the privacy settings keep them from seeing my status updates, photos, anything else I'd rather them not have access to.  I think facebook rot is a bit harsh for family members, personally. 
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

Keep in mind, these are family members who are either dispicable human beings, or still choose to associate themselves closely with said dispicable human beings....so they really have no business contacting me to begin with.  I don't consider them family and they were not invited to my recent wedding.  The one that really through me today said it was my g-ma (dad's mom), but she is super old and supposedly all frail....so I really doubt she has a FB page....I'm thinking someone is posing as her to gain information or sympathy....or something else I have no time for.  Sorry if I sould like a super B, but I really do have good reasons for my strong dislike for these people.

T1+T2

Before the changes that FB made, I would either deny or just let them FB rot.  My cousin and myself conspired to FB rot another cousin's wife, who did.not.get.the.meaning of deny.  Now, I guess you can add them to a restricted group - but I'm lazy so I'll still probably just deny. 

lannerjarv

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:c5c1019f-8d4c-4b5d-8efd-78ba0f39c1eb">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted on the third option, but another thing you could do is accept them and then later defriend them.  They probably won't even notice.
Posted by cocoreo3[/QUOTE]

i've actually received emails on FB asking me why i de-friended someone.
as unbelievably lame as that sounds.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:410c8161-0d1b-470f-bee1-ff5d067a3029">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd block them so they can't see your page or continue to send you requests.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what  was going to say. When you block someone, they can't even see that you have a Facebook.

If they happen to stumble upon a tagged photo, note or anything else of you, then your name isn't linked and looks like you don't have one.

crfische

I have, too, Lanner.

I usually don't answer those emails, either.

georgia_bride09

I just wouldn't accept or decline. Then it will remain pending and you can complain about FB acting wonky until the cows come home.

The guy I liked for three years in HS sent me a Friend Request yesterday. This is the same guy who wouldn't give me the time of day FOR THREE YEARS because he thought he was too cool for school (and me). And judging by his photos, time has not been friendly to him. His request is currently pending and will remain so. I just want to leave him hanging forever.

My MIL wants to be my friend, but I always change the subject before she can directly ask me about it. There are dranking pictures on there that would burn her innocent eyes.

I didn't used to be searchable, but something has changed lately, hence the randar from HS finding me, so I'm expecting to see a Friend Request from MIL any day now.

tigger9922

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:bf1d53ef-5f23-4b52-9db3-871592cc0ab0">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]My family rocks, so they are all added.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

About 90% of my family rocks too!  Just wish it was 100% so I wouldn't have to be the bad guy.  I'm not shocked though Fischey....you're pretty special. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

sarabellam

Just how despicable are we talking here?

tigger9922

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:6c5b7a38-2cde-469d-9e0f-2e0c188cbf77">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FB & Family : This is exactly what  was going to say. When you block someone, they can't even see that you have a Facebook. If they happen to stumble upon a tagged photo, note or anything else of you, then your name isn't linked and looks like you don't have one.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I was unaware of this blocking option....going to have to check that out for the future....it would be awesome if they could never find me to begin with.

tigger9922

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:096a9584-84fc-49a0-ad21-5886ee7cadfd">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]Just how despicable are we talking here?
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

Stealing large sums of money from elderly people or people who trust them, aiding and imbedding a fugitive who is wanted in multiple states for molesting children and many other petty crimes and all around immoral things.

FutureMrsTR

Yep, just leave them in FB purgatory.  Don't ignore or accept.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:bb85fac0-d120-4b0b-b5c1-5de68e08e699">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FB & Family : Yeah, I was unaware of this blocking option....going to have to check that out for the future....it would be awesome if they could never find me to begin with.
Posted by tigger9922[/QUOTE]

And that's what would happen from now on. I do think that there is a way to keep your name from popping up in searches. Let me explore.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:99523dab-eb93-4dd0-8bda-74efadab579e">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FB & Family : Stealing large sums of money from elderly people or people who trust them, aiding and imbedding a fugitive who is wanted in multiple states for molesting children and many other petty crimes and all around immoral things.
Posted by tigger9922[/QUOTE]

Okay, that level would get blocked from me.

JessAndTrav

I found it. Go to Settings>Privacy Settings>Search.

You can change it to Friends and Netorks, Friends of Friends or Friends Only.

tigger9922

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:55e4ed59-9e1a-4074-864c-d1ed19336845Post:e606eb7d-79a3-49a8-a6d7-89e76a38b2f9">Re: FB & Family</a>:
[QUOTE]I found it. Go to Settings />Privacy Settings>Search. You can change it to Friends and Netorks, Friends of Friends or Friends Only.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

Thanks Jess!  This priority #1 when I get home tonight.

baby green bird

what betrothed said.