Wedding Etiquette Forum

Ceremony only invite.

I know that only inviting people to the ceremony can be seen as rude, I am not sure if this is an exception. My fiance and I are having a 5:00 wedding and evening reception. My fiance and I are both really involved with the youth group at our church. I have been working with a group of girls who are now 11th graders sence they were going into 7th grade and my fiance has been working with a group of 10th grade boys for almost as long. We are inviting some children to our reception but their parents will also be there and most of them are 10 or younger. Our reception is about 15 minutes away and their will be alcohol and our college friends, I do not really want to mix the high school crowd with the reception bunch. However we have grown really close with these kids and we would like to share our special day with them in some capacity. 

We were thinking about inviting the whole youth group to the ceremony and holding a short cake and punch reception in the fellowship hall before leaving for our reception. (We are planning to take pictures before the wedding so we would have the time that we would use to take picture to be at the church reception). We thought that this would also be a nice option because our reception is at night and many elderly people will not want to drive to the reception, so it would give them another option. Also it is pretty common at my church to announce a wedding ceremony in the bulletin so technically anyone from the church could attend. 

What do you guys think about this.  

Re: Ceremony only invite.

  • I wouldn't do that.  It will get out that there is another reception that they are not invited to attend.  

    I would just stick with announcing it in the church bulletin.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Nope, still rude.

    The church is open to the members.  If these members happen to come by, that's their decision.  But if you invite them, you need to invite them to the whole deal.
  • Even if you had a short thing at the church with cake and punch, how long would that last? You cant just have some cake and leave in 15 mintues. People would expect you to be there for awhile. It just wouldnt work.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2012
    You are not a special snowflake and your situation is not the exception to the rule.  Inviting people only to part of the wedding day is rude no matter how you look at it.  You either invite them to the whole thing or not at all.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-only-invite-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:56bbf290-cf94-45be-8b99-ff58114c5ef8Post:7e1bb652-7371-4d6c-b941-7d9b4c25b493">Re: Ceremony only invite.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>You are not a special snowflake </strong>and your situation is not the exception to the rule.  Inviting people only to part of the wedding day is rude no matter how you look at it.  You either invite them to the whole thing or not at all.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    Made me ROLF, Maggie!!!

    OP, Honestly, these kids are in high school.... (please don't take offence to this!) Do you really think that they'll be excited to attend a wedding?  The girls - maybe, the guys - more than likely not.  I know you're attached to them and I'm sure they do genuinely like you.  IMO, after you get your pictures back, have a small cake & punch party for them.
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