Not getting RSVP's back.

erinhepinstall

Our Wedding is June 9th, 2012.

We sent out our RSVP a month ago, and of the 187 invited guests we have only recieved 67 peoples RSVP's back. I know for a fact that a lot of these people got their invites because they texted/called/emailed me to let me know, so why is it taking so long? On the RSVP i put "a favor of you rely is reguested by May 1st", and I understand that, it is still 2-weeks away, but I have a list of about 10-12 things that need to get done and they all rely on the RSVPs and how many will be in attendence,

Has anyone else had this happen? I mean, when my fiance and i get an invite we decided within a week usually if we can make it or not so i don't understand the dely.

When May 1st rolls around and i still don't have RSVP's back what is the most tackful/appropriate way to adress this situation. Phone calls? Emails?

Thank you for letting me vent!

&

Thanks for the input Ladies!

hoffse

Deep breath.  A lot of people send them back at the last minute.  On May 4 or 5, after the stragglers have had time, then you start to call.

J&K10910

Well, people probably aren't able to plan that far ahead.  Your wedding isn't until July.  You've sent out invitations and are asking for RSVPs awfully far in advance.  People aren't going to know for sure/may not be able to take off work yet/etc. 

But, wait about a week for stragglers (lots of people will put them in the mail on May 1st), and then you can start contacting people.  Phone calls tend to work best, but we emailed several people and that was fine too.

whitsy

you still have two weeks to go, and I can almost guarantee you a huge number will roll in on the date and/or shortly after. Give it time. People may still be making work and travel arrangements.

When the date rolls around, give it a couple more days, and then start calling.

"Hey guys, just wondering if you were going to be able to make it to the wedding? We haven't received your RSVP and just wanted to make sure it hasn't gotten lost!"

lyndausvi

First you need to wait until the date as past.

Any ones you don't get back you need to contact the guest about.  I personally had 3 RSVPs show up the week of the wedding even though they were postmarked 6 weeks earlier.  So that means the guest didn't mess up the, post office did.

Oh and a RSVP date 2 Months before the event is just way too far out, it's no wonder you are not getting them back sooner.

onloveonlife

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:f85f4aa0-ce82-4650-b120-49a1fe5ec1a9">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, people probably aren't able to plan that far ahead.  Your wedding isn't until July.  You've sent out invitations and are asking for RSVPs awfully far in advance.  People aren't going to know for sure/may not be able to take off work yet/etc.  But, wait about a week for stragglers (lots of people will put them in the mail on May 1st), and then you can start contacting people.  Phone calls tend to work best, but we emailed several people and that was fine too.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>This. You should've waited until May to send out your invitations.</div>

whitsy

Oh wow, your RSVP date is two months before your wedding? That's really early.

lyndausvi

okay, I saw the update.  The rest of my answer still stands.

erinhepinstall

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:42ccb773-c8ed-454a-bf3d-dadc8d1c1b13">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh wow, your RSVP date is two months before your wedding? That's really early.
Posted by whitsy[/QUOTE]

<div>Our wedding is June 9th, 2012.</div><div>
</div><div>We reguested RSVPS back 1 month and 9 days in advance becuase our venue required final head-count, meal choices and payments 30-days prior to the event.</div>

onloveonlife

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:42cb1f83-4649-4e37-bdcd-fb3446e43b3b">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : Our wedding is June 9th, 2012. We reguested RSVPS back 1 month and 9 days in advance becuase our venue required final head-count, meal choices and payments 30-days prior to the event.
Posted by erinhepinstall[/QUOTE]

<div>This is weird to me. I don't understand why they need numbers a whole month in advance. </div>

whitsy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:42cb1f83-4649-4e37-bdcd-fb3446e43b3b">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : Our wedding is June 9th, 2012. We reguested RSVPS back 1 month and 9 days in advance becuase our venue required final head-count, meal choices and payments 30-days prior to the event.
Posted by erinhepinstall[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry, your page says July 1. I responded before I say the update. It still seems early, but I guess if your venue has to have a head count 30 days prior, then you gotta do what you gotta do.</div><div>
</div><div>I would still give people up until the 6th or so to start calling.</div>

erinhepinstall

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:77373f22-7e2e-4992-88f4-3cfbc578475d">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : This is weird to me. I don't understand why they need numbers a whole month in advance. 
Posted by onloveonlife[/QUOTE]

<div>I work in a resturant, and we have to order our produce and meats 2-weeks in advnace, and sometimes if there is a shortage it takes even longer ot get particular items in. So the 30-day notice really isent that strange for our venue to ensure that they get everthing in on time.</div>

erinhepinstall

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:0f609dc7-2583-4ab6-8811-aa9f75e8873e">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : Sorry, your page says July 1. I responded before I say the update. It still seems early, but I guess if your venue has to have a head count 30 days prior, then you gotta do what you gotta do. I would still give people up until the 6th or so to start calling.
Posted by whitsy[/QUOTE]

<div>I signed up for this website before we had a date and for the life of me I can't figure out how to change it in the system!!</div>

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:372b8d2b-1544-409e-ac56-318f52557b20">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : I work in a resturant, and we have to order our produce and meats 2-weeks in advnace, and sometimes if there is a shortage it takes even longer ot get particular items in. So the 30-day notice really isent that strange for our venue to ensure that they get everthing in on time.
Posted by erinhepinstall[/QUOTE]

<div>I use to live in the Virgin Islands where you have to ship in EVERYTHING.    We didn't even need 30 days to order food.   We would ask for soft numbers a month out to get an idea and then hard numbers 3 days out.  </div><div>
</div><div>So yeah, I'm not buying.</div>

whitsy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:372b8d2b-1544-409e-ac56-318f52557b20">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : I work in a resturant, and we have to order our produce and meats 2-weeks in advnace, and sometimes if there is a shortage it takes even longer ot get particular items in. So the 30-day notice really isent that strange for our venue to ensure that they get everthing in on time.
Posted by erinhepinstall[/QUOTE]

<div>Strange then how other venues/caterers only need like a week. I mean, assuming they have a limited menu, and you've made food choices, I still don't get it.</div><div>
</div><div>But anyway. None of this really matters if your venue is saying a firm count 30 days prior.</div>

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:da71f61f-8061-4cc5-804d-9f4d1b1bd984">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : Strange then how other venues/caterers only need like a week. I mean, assuming they have a limited menu, and you've made food choices, I still don't get it. But anyway. None of this really matters if your venue is saying a firm count 30 days prior.
Posted by whitsy[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually I think some places to it to lock the guest into paying more.  Most people are going to have adjustments in the 30 days before the event date.  It's just life.  Making you commit early means they get the extra money if the counts go down.  If you call and say "Hey I have 5 more people" 2 weeks out I'm sure they would be happy to accommodate.</div>

whitsy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:7c812ecd-b956-4276-84c4-b81109a407d4">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : Actually I think some places to it to lock the guest into paying more.  Most people are going to have adjustments in the 30 days before the event date.  It's just life.  Making you commit early means they get the extra money if the counts go down.  If you call and say "Hey I have 5 more people" 2 weeks out I'm sure they would be happy to accommodate.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>That definitely makes sense.</div>

lyndausvi

BTW - My grandparents and my aunt/uncle both were married on June 9.  

Grandparents were married 54 years when grandpop died.  I wear grandma's wedding band and it as the date engraved and I look at it often.

My aunt/uncle were married 47 years when my uncle died.

It's always been a special day in my life.

Okay, I'm done.

pokepoke27

I made my RSVP date earlier than usual because my family is notorious for doing things at the very last minute. Even though I've actually received 3 of my RSVPs back already, I fully expect for at least 80% of them to come in late with maybe 10(ish)% to not respond at all. So I wanted to give myself pleny of time to chase people up.

J&K10910

Well, regardless, I got the highest percentage of our RSVPs back the week of the RSVP date and the couple days after.  So just relax for now.  They're coming.

MyUserName1

I only have half of my RSVPs back and my wedding's almost an entire month before yours.  Its too early to freak.  

mtbentley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-getting-rsvps-back?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58112912-755d-45e5-8f21-32de509f16b7Post:7c812ecd-b956-4276-84c4-b81109a407d4">Re: Not getting RSVP's back.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not getting RSVP's back. : Actually I think some places to it to lock the guest into paying more.  Most people are going to have adjustments in the 30 days before the event date.  It's just life.  <strong>Making you commit early means they get the extra money if the counts go down.  If you call and say "Hey I have 5 more people" 2 weeks out I'm sure they would be happy to accommodate.</strong>
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is what my venue does, they actually told us to give the minimum number of guests when the count is due because we can add guests any time we want but we can not remove them. 

</div>

laurenlizzyb

Give the venue what you have when you need to give the info but I can almost guarantee they won't be surprised/bent out of shape/ or even unprepared if you add some folks at the last minute. People and establishments that are familiar with the wedding business, even if they're remotely good at their jobs, know that changes can and usually do happen and pretty much nothing is a done deal when it comes o hear count

SarahNLeon

I had the same problem. My wedding is may 12, and I requested rsvps back by April 7. I sent the invites out march 10th. I still haven't gotten responses from 36 out of 150 invited. My fianc and I called each person this last weekend. It was hard because some people said, "I don't know, just put us down as a yes and we will let you know." or "you can just put us as a no... We will share food with someone" and you have to kindly explain you need a definite answer, and if they can't provide that then you are sorry they cannot make it... I need to give my venue a final count next week, make seating charts, escort cards, favors, out of town goody bags... I'm realizing many people who have never tried to plan a formal wedding, have no idea how much stress they are putting on you by waiting to send the RSVP till after the due date.... Or never sending it at all! My fiance family's has never had anyone in thier family do a formal wedding... They have all done courthouse, then BBQ in someone's backyard weddings. So they just don't get the whole thing about needing to know if they are coming. It's been the most stressful thing about wedding planning for me... Good luck, it will take a whole lotta smiles, tact and a dose of patience but you'll get your answers eventually.