wedding invitation drama vent

TheShadyYvonne

bare with me..this is hella long.

.. i just got a text from my cousin..and had to call my uncle.. who is realyl upset that he dind't receive an invitation...and is just now learning that im getting married..

so i have been emailing my extended family details about the wedding for the past year or more ( mostly because they are all out of state or out of the coutry)..last August after we set a date - I sent an email letting them know we've set a date...and we'll be sending save the dates, and if they have recently moved etc if they can repy back with their new addys etc..I even emailed him separarely cause i got a new email address for him.

After sending save the dates back in march...i emailed everyone again ( including him) letting them know that they should have received a save the date etc...and here's some info about the wedding website which we'd be using to help keep them all informed about everything and up to date etc.  i also said..if you dind't receive a save the date..to let me know as it may mean the address we had was wrong for them..  This uncle didn't reply back..so i went ahead and kept that address and sent out formal invitations.

fast forward to today - he claims zero knowledge of any wedding ( its in 2 months) and that he didnt receive an invitation...and the first he heard of a wedding was today... im like...ok..so..my aunt whos come all the way form out of the country...to be here for hte shower next month...who i know you saw a few weeks ago... really... you dind't know anything?

so he gives me his correct address..which is obvisouly NOT where the invitation went to...and his email address...which was the same one that i have been emailing since last august...

I don't feel ive done anything wrong..and i dont know why hes all pissed at me for..

have i done something wrong?

Snippylynn

No, you did your best, he can just deal.

TheShadyYvonne

kk - ty he was just all mad on the phone..im like...dude..i dont think i did anything wrong..ive tried so hard to accomodate everyone *sigh*

Snippylynn

If you feel like it, you can forward him the emails you've sent over the past months as well.

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-invitation-drama-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58c8420a-70b1-4b1f-8317-94bd5dab3f32Post:96736364-88e5-420d-8ae8-f69560503842">Re: wedding invitation drama vent</a>:
[QUOTE]If you feel like it, you can forward him the emails you've sent over the past months as well.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

I would <em>so</em> do this.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-invitation-drama-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58c8420a-70b1-4b1f-8317-94bd5dab3f32Post:2cb30523-f4fa-45be-b290-22511aca3dfe">Re: wedding invitation drama vent</a>:
[QUOTE]kk - ty :) he was just all mad on the phone..im like...dude..i dont think i did anything wrong..<strong>ive tried so hard to accomodate everyone *sigh*</strong>
Posted by TheShadyYvonne[/QUOTE]
You can only do so much. Once I realized that I could only do so much to accomodate everyone, I was much less stressed.<div>Did he respond to your emails? Is it possible that his email address has changed?</div>

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-invitation-drama-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58c8420a-70b1-4b1f-8317-94bd5dab3f32Post:96736364-88e5-420d-8ae8-f69560503842">Re: wedding invitation drama vent</a>:
[QUOTE]If you feel like it, you can forward him the emails you've sent over the past months as well.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

<div>ditto.  He's being a jackass.</div>

Knittibell

I agree, forward him the old emails, and leave it at that. You could equally be pissed he MOVED and didn't tell you, right? Don't sweat it, it'll all work out.

lauraanne9

I agree with the don't engage advice.

My FSIL is allowing us to have the reception at her house.  And as it is at her house, has decided it is a family reunion that includes a girl in a white dress.  My 75 person guest list went to 325 (!!!!!) by time she got done telling people who were not on the list but who were "Family and should be there" (I have never met these people and my fiance isn't entirely positive who some of them are) so, in order to accommodate all of the people she has invited by word of mouth (we are WAY over what we can afford at 325) we removed kids from the invitations and are having a child free wedding.  We did it this was as it removed more than 100 people from the guest list.  We also removed guests for single people, changed the menu, and the reception is now "dry"  The FSIL threw a FIT because, and I quote, "It isn't a family reunion without people's kids and alcohol".  I told her that she was the one who seemed to feel she could invite people to OUR wedding, we had to do something, and this was the choice we made.

I am sure we are going to get grief from people about the kids, but we are STILL at 172, almost 100 people over our max allowed by our budget.  And, it was either remove the kids or start removing my side of the family.

The FSIL has attempted on NUMEROUS occasions to declare that we are wrong.  We just keep telling her it is not changing until she throws money at the wedding to pay for the additional guests she invited.  She says she doesn't have the money.  We say that's exactly our point.