Guests inviting guests

meofmanynames

I sent out my invites last week and have already started getting responses back.  Yay!

My FMIL's best friend was invited per FMIL's request.  She RSVP'd back PLUS TWO!  MY FMIL has no idea who she would be bringing, and my FI thinks she might be bringing her grown sons.  Either way, I don't know who she is bringing and my budget is stretched tight.

How do I handle this?  Do I ask my FMIL to talk to her about this or do I ask for her phone number so I can talk to her?  

brittany634

If you absolutely can't include her plus 2- call her or have FI call her and politely say that I'm sorry for the confusion the invite was only ment for you, I hope you can still make it!

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-inviting-guests-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58ce9f33-4cba-45ce-95ab-6f9803b57bd1Post:ce530f04-093c-4e8a-a506-2c725ddbf200">Guests inviting guests</a>:
[QUOTE]I sent out my invites last week and have already started getting responses back.  Yay! My FMIL's best friend was invited per FMIL's request.  She RSVP'd back PLUS TWO!  MY FMIL has no idea who she would be bringing, and my FI thinks she might be bringing her grown sons.  Either way, I don't know who she is bringing and my budget is stretched tight. How do I handle this?  Do I ask my FMIL to talk to her about this or do I ask for her phone number so I can talk to her?  
Posted by meofmanynames@gmail.com[/QUOTE]

Yes, you have FMIL call, or if she doesn't want to, you ask for the phone number.  You call and say "I'm sorry, there must have been a misunderstanding.  The invitation was just for you and we aren't able to accomodate additional guests.  I hope you'll still be able to make it".

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-inviting-guests-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58ce9f33-4cba-45ce-95ab-6f9803b57bd1Post:0861a6d7-96fc-40d4-bdbd-a8e7a9cc6ceb">Re: Guests inviting guests</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Guests inviting guests : Yes, you have FMIL call, or if she doesn't want to, you ask for the phone number.  You call and say "I'm sorry, there must have been a misunderstanding.  The invitation was just for you and we aren't able to accomodate additional guests.  I hope you'll still be able to make it".
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

I think if FMIL doesn't make the call, FI should. It's his side of the family.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-inviting-guests-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58ce9f33-4cba-45ce-95ab-6f9803b57bd1Post:a5f15e98-c6e6-4f38-a266-3b75490946a9">Re: Guests inviting guests</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests inviting guests : I think if FMIL doesn't make the call, FI should. It's his side of the family.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

Eh.. I don't have firm rules or boundaries around who makes the call.  It's both people's wedding. If OP has time, she can make the call.  If FI has time, he can make the call.  As long as SOMEONE makes the call.

harper0813

I agree that there's no one person that should be making the call, but the FMIL might know how to best handle it, since it's her best friend.

meofmanynames

I spoke with my FMIL and explained the situation.  She is going to find out who her friend is planning to bring and then when it is closer to the wedding and if there are a lot of people declining, her friend can bring her date to avoid any drama.  I explained that it's one thing for one person to bring a date but if everybody does this, then we won't even fit into the venue.

I'm so frustrated though because what the guest did is a complete disregard for manners and etiquitte.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-inviting-guests-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58ce9f33-4cba-45ce-95ab-6f9803b57bd1Post:723ff0d9-019b-44c6-a815-89e43e58a4b2">Re: Guests inviting guests</a>:
[QUOTE]I spoke with my FMIL and explained the situation.  <strong>She is going to find out who her friend is planning to bring and then when it is closer to the wedding and if there are a lot of people declining, her friend can bring her date to avoid any drama. </strong> I explained that it's one thing for one person to bring a date but if everybody does this, then we won't even fit into the venue. I'm so frustrated though because what the guest did is a complete disregard for manners and etiquitte.
Posted by meofmanynames@gmail.com[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is problematic for two reasons. 1) That's B-Listing, and it's rude, and 2) IS she dating someone? If so, that person should have been invited to begin with. 

</div>

Jen4948

If these were uninvited guests to begin with, I think you need to put your foot down with your MIL: "MIL, it just isn't possible for us to accommodate these two guests.  I'm sorry for this misunderstanding, but we are going to have to tell them not to come.  Going forward, please don't tell them or anyone else that they can come without checking with us first, and if we say no, please respect that."