How Old is Too Old...

shortee426

to be a flower girl?  J's niece (Z) will be 9 at the time of our wedding, and when we spoke to her about being in the wedding we asked if she would be our FG or Jr. BM.  We would let her choose closer to the day.  J's sister (Z's mother) and I were chatting the other day and she mentioned that Z would be our FG, rather than Jr. Bridesmaid. "Every wedding needs a FG!"  So, is 9 too old to be FG?  Or should I just tell J's sister that while I appreciate her input on having an FG I would rather have Z be a Jr. BM?

When J and I spoke to Z about it, she was completely clueless as to what she wanted to do.  J's nephew will be our RB.

sorry, this will be a P&R...gotta head to the office.

shaydenise

Our FG was 8 and our RB was 3 so it worked out well having her sort of guide him down the aisle.  No, I don't think 9 is too old.

doctabroccoli

I do think 9 is a little too old......  But I guess it depends on if the girl wants to be a kid or feel more like a grown-up.

WildRumpus

Nine seems rather old to be a FG to me. Does she even WANT to be in the wedding? I know when I was 9, I hated having any attention put on myself. That would have been torture in my mind.

ehathewa

Either one is fine, just make sure she is in an age appropriate dress. 

waltzingmatilda13

Every wedding does not need a flower girl. The only required people are the bride and groom.

She's 9, so I think she's old enough to make the decision on her own. You were right by asking her what she wanted to do. Just leave it alone for now until your FI's niece has made her decision.

AdeleDazeem

How does the nine year old feel?  Ask her directly.

She's the only one who will tell you for sure if nine is too old or if it's what she really wants to do.

And you'll be able to tell if her Mom talked her into it vs. her being excited about it.

ohwhynot

My kids opted to be flower girl and ring bearer, even though they were on the older end of the spectrum for those roles  (8 and 10, respectively).  I think 9 is just fine, if she wants that role. 

[Deleted User]

We didn't have a FG, but my dad's girlfriend's daughter was mistaken for one. We forgot to put down the flower petals in the aisle before guests started seating themselves, so she ran out to put all the petals down before everyone could sit (I was getting ready and had no idea this was happening). She is 12, but everyone kept commenting that she made an adorable FG, so I guess it depends on the person. I would have said 12 is too old, but our guests thought she was perfect.

Celles

I think that since you already told her it was her choice, then you should go ahead and let her decide. 

FWIW, I don't think that nine is too old, especially if she is leading her little brother.

Y I Oughta

I don't think 9 is too old. I would say take her pick out a dress and if she picks a FG dress then she is the FG but if she wants something more like a BM dress then she can be a JBM. This might make her decision easier if when you talked to her she wasn't sure what she wanted to do.

balasj

I don't think it really matters what you call it...  Just allow her to help pick her dress so she feels appropriate in it. 

Calypso1977

i think 9 is good.  she'll actually behave and follow instruction at that age.  i think the ideal age for a FG or RB is 5-10. 

ElleestJenn

My younger cousin is 8 and really wanted to be our FG. I think when it gets closer you can ask her if she has decided what she would like to be. I personally think 9 is too young to be a jbm.

DramaGeek

I was a FG for my uncle when I was 9.  I loved it.  I was actually hurt when he got married for the third time and they didn't ask me to be the FG.  I was 15, but still....So, no, I don't think it's too old.