Guest etiquette: Pay for out-of-state "plus one"?

debbieupper

Howdy.

One of my bridesmaids is wondering if there's a "rule" about whether she should pay for her plus one's flight. They're both coming in from out-of-state and he's her boyfriend, but I don't know him very well. 

Thoughts from you experts? 

tenofcups4me

There's no right answer and too many variables depending on their invidual sitaution: How long have they been together? How serious are they? How much is the flight? How much money does she make? How much money does he make? Can she afford to pay for him? Can he afford to pay for himself if she doesn't? How badly does she want him to come? How badly doe he want to come? And on and on...

mushE

Yup, agree with PPs, this is a couple question, not an etiquette question.

I went to two weddings with FI recently (his friends, if that's not clear) and we split flight & accommodations, and made a vacation out of it.  He paid for the gifts, though. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-etiquette-pay-out-of-state-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:597aa036-6ff1-452f-aabe-6f30a4514398Post:b0294561-7c93-408b-b86c-48cf66f36597">Re: Guest etiquette: Pay for out-of-state "plus one"?</a>:
[QUOTE]She needs to talk to her BF and figure this out on her own.  The right answer here depends on the couple.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with that. My FI paid for our tickets to his cousin's wedding and I paid for our tickets to my high school reunion, but it's all about who has the money at the time, who books them, what we've recently paid for, and all that jazz.</div>

MyNameIsNot

It depends on the situation, but I would if I were her.  

When I was dating my DH and we were living elsewhere, we took a trip here to visit my parents, and I covered the trip.  When we visited his mother, he covered it.  If we were going to travel to a wedding, I would assume it would be the same thing.  Of course now, it's all "our" money and none of this matters.  

SaraAndrew2010

It depends on their relationship and money situation.  FI went with me for a few OOT weddings while we were dating.  One of them was the day before my birthday, so I told FI that him flying out to it could be my birthday present.  Another one we turned into a mini-vacation over a holiday weekend and each paid our own way. 

quotequeen

I don't think he should expect her to pay for him, but if it's not something he wants to spend the money on, he doesn't have to go either.  If that's the case and she really wants him to go anyway, then she should offer to pay.

Cookster79

This actually came up as an issue early on in my relationship b/c we had a bunch of weddings coming up.  We decided that I would pay if it was my friend/family and he would pay if it was his friend/family.