Friend wants to do lighting for the wedding

meg65

This isn't necessarily E-related, but you guys always have sound advice. So advise away!

My friend recently quit his job to start his own lighting company. He's been doing lighting for various concerts and shows for years, so he definitely has the experience, although not solo. He called me up yesterday, asking about the wedding plans, and pretty quickly got into what was essentially a business pitch.

I guess he is trying to break into the "wedding lighting" industry and has been in contact with wedding planners, venues, etc, but want to offer me his services so he can build his "wedding" portfolio. He said his cheapest package starts at $1500 and goes up to $8000, but this would be his wedding present to us.

Now, FI and I don't really know anything about lighting. We don't have the money for it, so we didn't consider it. When I asked, my friend said what he does is nothing like the lighting that a lot of DJs offer. I also asked him if he wouldn't rather just enjoy the wedding and get drunk with the rest of us, and he said all he would have to do it set it up and maybe press a button now and then.

I want to help him out, and we're meeting on Friday to discuss this further so I need to know the best way to go about this. I can't imagine this ruining the wedding or anything, since it's not something we care about. I know I should get some kind of contract out of him too, right? How should I handle this?

CN: My friend recently quit his event lighting job to start his own lighting company. He is now offering to light my wedding for free, so he can use it to build his portfolio. Should we accept or refuse? If we accept, how should we handle it (contract, etc)?

dumdumfroggie

If he's wanting to do it for free, and you're interested in it, go ahead.  However, I would get some sort of agreement in writing that there would be no charge.  

Also, I would check with your venue to make sure what he's planning is allowed.

tpender13

If he's coming right out and saying that he wants to do it for free, I don't see why not. As long as you're okay with him using pics or whatever from your wedding that he wants to use for advertising or just to show clients, I would go for it. Lighting can really make a reception space look cool.

I do agree with the PP though that it wouldn't hurt to get something in writing.

entropicbeauty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-wants-lighting-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59863a5c-22ef-4120-94d6-dd7062d67e72Post:874f6178-a039-44cc-8c46-aa0390048d1c">Re: Friend wants to do lighting for the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]If he's wanting to do it for free, and you're interested in it, go ahead.  However, I would get some sort of agreement in writing that there would be no charge.   Also, I would check with your venue to make sure what he's planning is allowed.
Posted by dumdumfroggie[/QUOTE]

This exactly. Just make sure your bases are covered, but I see no reason to NOT accept a free gift.

mbody

When I think of wedding lighting, I think uplighting. Uplighting looks nice. A lot of DJs (around here) offer that in a package if you want. I guess when he says it's not like DJ lighting- I'm not sure what he means. Unless he's saying it's not the colored lights that flash on the dance floor.

I'd go ahead and take the meeting. Let him explain to you what he wants. If it sounds cool, go for it. I'd just make sure you get something in writing that it would be free of charge.

baystateapple

If you're set on doing this, do a contract.  Insist on paying him for something.  Even if it's just his meal the day of.

My reasoning is this: a good friend of mine did our flowers.  He works in the floral industry and said it would be a gift.  He didn't make out a contract.  I had zero say.  At all.  He didn't respond to my messages, he "yesd" me when I asked him questions, and tbh I was concerned that he wouldn't even show up the day of.  He did come through and the flowers were gorgeous, but it was an extremely nerve-wracking way to spend the months up until the wedding.  My mom and I had a back-up plan (going to Stop and Shop the day of and getting some red and white flowers).  Very nerve-wracking.  Get a contract; insist on paying for something.  Don't give up total say.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-wants-lighting-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59863a5c-22ef-4120-94d6-dd7062d67e72Post:3500e5b6-6b55-41f6-a4d1-ed0fe0712eba">Re: Friend wants to do lighting for the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]When I think of wedding lighting, I think uplighting. Uplighting looks nice. A lot of DJs (around here) offer that in a package if you want.<strong> I guess when he says it's not like DJ lighting- I'm not sure what he means.</strong> Unless he's saying it's not the colored lights that flash on the dance floor. I'd go ahead and take the meeting. Let him explain to you what he wants. If it sounds cool, go for it. I'd just make sure you get something in writing that it would be free of charge.
Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]

I am not sure about OP's neck of the woods, but around here, DJs will do up-lighting, but also have "light shows" - basically, they bring in the kinds of trusses you would usually see at a concert venue and have the whole flashing/moving/changing lights thing going on all night long.  It basically makes the  wedding look like a nightclub, IMHO. 

I agree though - let him outline his proposal for you.  If you like it, get him to put it in writing (to make sure that you both completely understand each other about what he's going to do), and make sure your venue allows whatever he has planned.  Unless his idea of lighting is multiple competing strobe lights, I don't see how this could "ruin" your wedding even if his work is less than stellar, and it'll probably be a cool extra for you guys.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-wants-lighting-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59863a5c-22ef-4120-94d6-dd7062d67e72Post:34037cdb-a319-426f-a907-6e5f0fe937af">Re: Friend wants to do lighting for the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're set on doing this, do a contract.  Insist on paying him for something.  Even if it's just his meal the day of. My reasoning is this: a good friend of mine did our flowers.  He works in the floral industry and said it would be a gift.  He didn't make out a contract.  I had zero say.  At all.  He didn't respond to my messages, he "yesd" me when I asked him questions, and tbh I was concerned that he wouldn't even show up the day of.  He did come through and the flowers were gorgeous, but it was an extremely nerve-wracking way to spend the months up until the wedding.  My mom and I had a back-up plan (going to Stop and Shop the day of and getting some red and white flowers).  Very nerve-wracking.  Get a contract; <strong>insist on paying for something</strong>.  Don't give up total say.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Bay, getting a contract is excellent advice, but OP doesn't need to pay him for anything for the contract to be valid.  It's true that contracts need to have "consideration" to be valid, but "consideration" =/= money.  Since he's getting the opportunity to promote himself and hone his craft for free, that would likely count as sufficient consideration to make their agreement enforceable even in the absence of payment.

Bonzo2011

Let me add another voice saying get a contract. We have a couple friends who are giving us their services for the wedding, and contracts have been the thing I'm very adamant about. Without a contract, miscommunications happen, things might not be the way you wanted...the list goes on. Put something in writing that you both sign. If you like his work and what he is proposing, go for it. But, if you don't like it please don't accept just because he wants your wedding to build his portfolio.

Bron&J

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-wants-lighting-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59863a5c-22ef-4120-94d6-dd7062d67e72Post:d8a95467-ab3b-4e77-8142-3bc95ca35ef1">Friend wants to do lighting for the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]This isn't necessarily E-related, but you guys always have sound <strong>advice</strong>. So <strong>advise</strong> away!

PPs have given great advice.  I just wanted to say I almost wept for joy to see these two words spelled correctly.  :)

OliveOilsMom

I would insist on a contract as well.  If it seems akward to ask for a contract, then put it to him that you are his first official client, so he should do everything for you, he would do for anyone else.  And get it in writing the different types of lighting he will do.  Depending on the tone of your wedding, the last thing you may want is to have club lighting bouncing around your reception venue.

RaptorSLH

The contract isn't just for you, it's practice for him.  He will need a contract with every paying client he hopes to get with you as advertising material.

Do agree on exactly what you and he are willing to offer.  Is he willing to give you a package worth up to $$$ ?  Does he want to use you to demonstrate every style he offers, while you want a simpler look?   Like any other contract, agree upon what he is providing, and what you are offering.

There are two big reasons mising business with friendship gets sticky: money disputes can get nasty, and if you're dissapointed, there's little way  to express it without giving offence.  In this case though, there won't be money involved, and you weren't going to have anything at all, so there's less chance it won't live up to your vision.  I'd probably take the offer.

MyNameIsNot

I think everyone has hit on the contract point pretty well.  I would also suggest that you speak with your venue first, and work out the times that he'd be able to get in to set up and break down, the space he can use, insurance requirement, etc.  Also, check with your DJ about whether this would interfere.  Make sure you include all of that in a contract.  

I could very easily see this turning into an issue where someone's property or equipment gets damaged, or with break down at the end of the night.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-wants-lighting-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59863a5c-22ef-4120-94d6-dd7062d67e72Post:461bf4b3-3178-45b4-b321-19521829365e">Re: Friend wants to do lighting for the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think everyone has hit on the contract point pretty well.  I would also suggest that you speak with your venue first, and work out the times that he'd be able to get in to set up and break down, the space he can use, insurance requirement, etc.  Also, check with your DJ about whether this would interfere.  Make sure you include all of that in a contract.   <strong>I could very easily see this turning into an issue where someone's property or equipment gets damaged, or with break down at the end of the night.
</strong>Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

Good point!  When you draft a contract with him, make sure he assumes liability for any damage caused by his equipment, otherwise you're going to be on the hook.  If he has actually started his own company, he needs to get insurance policies and whatnot set up anyway.

midgetthemighty

Everyone has great advice on other aspects, but this is something else that I always think about when it comes to lighting at weddings as my mother is epileptic. She can't be around flashing or moving lights of any kind or she risks have a seizure. You may want to find out if any of your guests have this health risk.

Just something to consider.

Hilraythebride

Def get it in writing, just something like The lighting company xyz will preform said services for the wedding of... taking place....  free of charge to serve as a wedding present and to build xyz's portfolio.  I have heard of friends and vendors doing this for people before.  On a smaller scale I know my friend who cuts hair is always trying to get me to go to classes to be her model for a style or technique they are learning.  I would just call the recption site to ask what is possible.,  I know with our reception site, they already have a lighting package you can purchase o Im not sure if this would work.  Also, bring him to the reception site at least once to get a feel for it and see what he can do.  It sounds like it would be awesome just get something in writing so he can't back out or half ass it