Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor.

chattychiqa

Would you be too, or am I being dumb?  Superfluous (sp) thought of the day, # 34,446.

The makeup artist has been completely confusing with her communications about price in both text and email.  Her contract is no better.  I asked her today, "I know what you're quoting the 'maids, but can you tell me what MY total will be that day?  For me, my flower girl DD and my bridesmaid DD, I only want my total."

So she tells me, $300, plus the tip.

I ask, "The $300, doesn't include the travel fee or parking fees, correct?"

She responds, "Oh, right.  I'm not sure what parking will be, and travel is $50.  Plus the tip!!" (smiley face)

I was pretty put off.  I'm a good tipper anyway; I thought people in business for themselves don't have to be tipped...and she is.  I was going to tip her but isn't it pretty blech of a vendor to mention this?  Much less repeatedly in the same conversation.  Between the DJ, the florist, the guitarist, the limo people, the photographer, the bakery, the photo booth peeps... nobody has said this to me at all. 

mica178

For some reason, many people who own their own beauty business still expect tips.  I don't know why it's different for hair/make-up as opposed to other things, but it is.

But I would find your vendor off-putting.  Sorry about that.  Yeah, I think it's weird for a person to point out the tip in general, since the tip is supposed to be a thank you for good work (and optional at that!).

jessicabessica

I would find it off-putting as well.  Also, you said the contract was confusing--why didn't you make sure everything was clear in writing before you signed?  

Winnertag1

I would be put off by this as well, no vendor should insist they deserve a tip - even more so before they even do their job, especially moreso if they own the company. 

Maggie0829

I would find that very off-putting as well.

Tipping is completely voluntary and should not be expected by anyone, no matter what business you are in.

To be honest, I did not tip any of my vendors at my wedding.  This isn't because I didn't love their work, they were all great, I just felt that I had already compensated them by paying my bill in full.

As for my hair and MUA, my wedding was side work for them thus whatever I paid them was theirs entirely.  So when the hair stylist charged me $85 to do my updo she received the entire $85 and did not have to give any cut of that to the salon because I didn't go through the salon to use her services.  Same with my MUA.  Because of this, I didn't feel it necessary to tip them because both the stylist and MUA made a lot more doing my wedding on the side then they would have if I went through the salon to use their services.

Mrs.B6302007

Oh, that would rub me the wrong way, too. Not the first time as much but to say it a second time?  Yuck.  To me, a vendor mentioning tip is in that same ick area as a B&G mentioning gifts.

Ali092011

I agree with PPs. I don't think you're overreacting by being put off. It's rude to imply that you can't make the decision whether or not to tip and how much to tip on your own. I wouldn't be surprised if other brides have deliberately not tipped before due to this attitude (which then probably fueled the fire and made her want to mention it even more).

If she brings it up again, I'd probably have to say something.

melanieky

Why is she even mentioning the tip!? That is bad business. Did you already sign the contract? Is there anyway to get out of hiring her and find someone else? I know your close to your date but you may be able to pull it off?

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-talk-im-put-off-by-this-vendor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5aad555b-fa8e-46c9-a2dd-494246a26d7ePost:b70da54c-d0b2-4718-9596-1f74b95b3524">Re: Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor.</a>:
[QUOTE]Why is she even mentioning the tip!? That is bad business. Did you already sign the contract? Is there anyway to get out of hiring her and find someone else? I know your close to your date but you may be able to pull it off?
Posted by melanieky[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't want the stress of finding a new stylist three weeks before the wedding. I also don't think this woman's rudeness warrants taking her business elsewhere; it's rude but not "fire her" rude, IMHO.

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-talk-im-put-off-by-this-vendor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5aad555b-fa8e-46c9-a2dd-494246a26d7ePost:e912197f-2c25-4200-a54d-7737754fb36b">Re: Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor. : I wouldn't want the stress of finding a new stylist three weeks before the wedding. I also don't think this woman's rudeness warrants taking her business elsewhere; it's rude but not "fire her" rude, IMHO.
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

Agreed.

zantster

The only situation where mentioning a tip explicitly is understandable is when gratuity is included in the contract, which usually only happens with vendors like the reception venue or transportation due to the number of people, supplies, equipment, etc. that they will use to serve your guests at your event.  It sounds like she does not know the meaning of tip and believes she is entitled to remind her clients of what she perceives as their obligation to give her extra money beyond her service fee.  You can always just ignore that piece of what she is saying, pay only what it costs for her services and nothing extra.  But be sure that she didn't put the tip in the contract.  And of course if you don't give that to her be prepared to never use her again as I'm sure she will be po'd even though she has no right to be.

chelseamb11

Honestly, out of stubbornness, I wouldn't tip her if it was me.  I'd give her a different kind of "tip" that the talk of tip is extremely offputting and actually made you NOT want to tip.  Hopefully she just takes it as a lesson learned for future appointments.

mizutamababy

I would probably be looking for a new MU/H vendor if it were me, to be honest.

Unless her contract states you must pay for a certain amount of gratuity, there is no reason for her to include that in the quote, especially if she's not giving you very good service since she can't seem to get back to you with a specific quote.

jemmini6

That's a big pet peeve of mine.  Kind of off topic, but I had a server once mis-charge my card for almost double the bill amount (it was only supposed to be $10 and she charged $18) and then when I asked her to adjust it, she told me several times that that could just be my tip.  I had to get the manager out there to make her change it, and then I didn't leave her a damn thing.  I got a coupon for the next time I was there and the manager told me he fired her that night as well because it was apparently the 3rd time that night she'd done it.

Basically, that experience left a sour taste in my mouth about people telling me that I have to tip them, or how much to tip them.  If it happens, I usually leave nothing or I find someone else to work with entirely. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-talk-im-put-off-by-this-vendor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5aad555b-fa8e-46c9-a2dd-494246a26d7ePost:d5f76117-f09e-4423-abf7-974fb5ab6c2f">Re: Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor.</a>:
[QUOTE]I would find that very off-putting as well. Tipping is completely voluntary and should not be expected by anyone, no matter what business you are in.<strong> To be honest, I did not tip any of my vendors at my wedding. </strong> This isn't because I didn't love their work, they were all great, I just felt that I had already compensated them by paying my bill in full. As for my hair and MUA, my wedding was side work for them thus whatever I paid them was theirs entirely.  So when the hair stylist charged me $85 to do my updo she received the entire $85 and did not have to give any cut of that to the salon because I didn't go through the salon to use her services.  Same with my MUA.  Because of this, I didn't feel it necessary to tip them because both the stylist and MUA made a lot more doing my wedding on the side then they would have if I went through the salon to use their services.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />

I tip everyone who I think needs a tip. I don't really care if they own a business or not.

chattychiqa

Thanks everyone. I am glad I am not imagining this. Truthfully I had a MUA I loved, I was so looking forward to her doing my wedding. She gave me a killer quote and it was low enough for me to pay for the whole WP's makeup. It was also a side job for her. She quit her job out of nowhere and stopped returning my texts and calls. She told someone I referred to her that her family had some sort of crisis and she no longer had time to do makeup. I took a hint and found a new MUA, this one, a month ago. I signed the contract because it was clear verbally at the time. She has an impressive website, my friend attended a wedding where she was the MUA, and said all the maids looked awesome. Her portfolio was lovely. She was in my budget. But when we had the trial and I disliked my makeup, she said it may be better to have her solely focus on makeup that day and bring in a separate person to do hair. She said "It'll be the same price though." Yesterday she said he charges 25/more per head, and asked if she could update the contract. I told her that I'd have to check with my maids and see if that was in their budget first. Truthfully, I was prepared to pay the difference, but she bit the line and said she would ask him to lower his rate for this job. It is awfully late for me to change vendors. I am in a contract and don't want to look for another person. I'm afraid if I back out, despite how ridic she's been all the way around, she will try to have me on the line for the remaining balance...plus tip! Grits teeth I'm going to just use her services and be done with it. I doubt I will tip her. I will tip the hair stylist if he's good. I am worried to rock the boat too much lest she do a Craptastic job. I will write a 2 star yelp review.

chattychiqa

I'm sorry for the lack of paragraphs. I wrote it with paragraphs but I think cuz I'm on the iPhone it didn't take. : grrr

Mrs.B6302007

[QUOTE]Yesterday she said he charges 25/more per head, and asked if she could update the contract.[/QUOTE]

What? SHe wants to change the price on a SIGNED contract?  If she needs to charge more money per head, she needs to do that on FUTURE clients, not you.

Mrs.B6302007

Well, unless there is a clause that states you agree to new prices after you've signed.

jemmini6

Honestly, I'd read your contract carefully and see if there's a way you can get out of it, or at the very least, refuse any price increases.  Then yes, use her services, but don't tip her.  To me, tipping wedding vendors goes beyond the service they provide you on the day of.  If she does a beautiful job on your make-up, but was a nightmare to work with, then her service was still crappy and doesn't earn her a tip.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-talk-im-put-off-by-this-vendor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5aad555b-fa8e-46c9-a2dd-494246a26d7ePost:d030c0c6-e07b-47dd-8c95-2d6f090cc526">Re: Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor. : I tip everyone who I think needs a tip. I don't really care if they own a business or not.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

But how do you make the determination of who needs a tip and who doesn't?  Just curious.

I just think it is weird that tipping is such a customary thing for all vendors at a wedding.  A DJs, florists, bakers, etc salary is not dependant upon tips like servers at a restaurant are.  These vendors at weddings are just doing their jobs in which they are compensated by the bride and groom (or whoever is paying).  Why is a tip necessary?

I do my job as a government contractor but I certainly do not expect my client to give me $20 every time I finish a powerpoint presentation or document for them.

These vendors are not going out of their way to work your wedding, it is the nature of their business.

chattychiqa

I left the contract at work. I'll have to double check it when I go in tonight. But I think it's bull ish...

Mrs.B6302007

Yeah, if you just booked her last month, there's no reason for her to increase her price on you.    Unless you want that extra $25 to be her "tip".  ;-)

bonge

she can't change the contract. Also 300+ gas & parking is a lot just for make up, i got 5 girls done for 155 with gas. I would not tip her, pay her at the end of everything & let her know that because it is straight cash in her pocket & a lot of it at that, that you won't be tipping her. 

Is that normal price for your area? I paid $55 a person for both hair & make up & they came to me, the mua came from an hour away & charged 30 for gas. 

Mrs.B6302007

The more I think about it, the way you worded it (she chagres $25 more per head and could she update the contract) almost sounds like maybe she realized she gave you an old contract with old prices on it.  If she did, then she should be more careful.  But still, her loss.

Mrs.B6302007

I'm REALLY curious to see her website now.

QueerFemme

I think this MUA sounds completely ridiculous.  Are you in the bay area?  I had a trial with one person that was really great and I have another trial next week with someone different. If you want their contact info, let me know.  They are MUCH cheaper than what your person is charging.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-talk-im-put-off-by-this-vendor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5aad555b-fa8e-46c9-a2dd-494246a26d7ePost:b1d262c7-3571-4c22-a9ce-95592c53709a">Re: Tip talk. I'm put off by this vendor.</a>:
[QUOTE]she can't change the contract. Also 300+ gas & parking is a lot just for make up, i got 5 girls done for 155 with gas. I would not tip her, pay her at the end of everything & let her know that because it is straight cash in her pocket & a lot of it at that, that you won't be tipping her.  Is that normal price for your area? I paid $55 a person for both hair & make up & they came to me, the mua came from an hour away & charged 30 for gas. 
Posted by bonge[/QUOTE]

 Depending on where she is, that's not all that strange. I'm paying (well, my mom is) $55+ per bridesmaid JUST for hair. My hair is $80+ (starts at $65, but there's an extra $15 for veil application)... luckily, my MUA is a friend of the family and offered her services for free. But if I was to go through my hairstylist/salon, it would start at $45 per girl (in addition to hair).

So for my 5 BMs, myself, and my mom, we'd be looking at well over $600 for hair & makeup.

chattychiqa

I'll have to look at my contract. I'm being charged more because I'm the bride. The bridesmaids makeup is 75/each, she was going to do hair and makeup for 50 more, making it 125/maid. When I disliked the makeup trial and she decided she wanted to focus on just makeup, she said he charged 75/head for an updo, 25 more than she quoted if she were doing it herself. I'd be willing to share who she is but I'm nervous about posting it here. You can PM me if you want. For the poster who said they would give me their person's info, I'll take it. I'm in such a funk over this.

TaraKeeley

I don't like that she's so unclear and spacey. How did she forget about parking, travel, etc? The quote should be the quote... period. PLUS THE TIP? Sorry, but F*** you. I'm a generous tipper, but no one should ever ASK for a tip. The tip is a bonus, and a way of saying you are satisfied, or beyond satisfied, with the service. It isn't mandatory, and even if this lady does an AMAZING job, she should never go about expecting or asking for a tip. Her base price should cover what she needs/deserves for her services, and if she happens to get a little something extra on top of that, how nice.

I'd try to find someone else... someone with better communication skillls, who is more organized, and more POLITE.

Mrs.B6302007

Oh yeah, definitely by PM.  I didn't mean for you to post it here - sorry I wasn't clear.