My FI's family includes everyone in the immediate family photo, including dates (including people we will never see again). My FMIL still displays a family photo with an ex-girlfriend to one of her children in it, that many in the family view as being incredibly rude and distasteful considering the extenuating circumstances. When it comes up, she says it is the last formal, family sitting photo she has with her mother in it (who is still alive and could take another one), and so she won't put it away.
Cut to our wedding photos, I know she will want all of her children's dates in the "family" photo, which I'm willing to do, but I would like one family photo that only has parents, siblings, siblings' spouses, and their children in it, just in case we end up in the same situation in a few years. Is this incredibly rude to ask? We have two photographers, one arranges while one takes the picture to speed everything up, and they've said they're pretty good at getting the picture taken before people notice someone isn't in the picture, but they think we should discuss with FMIL first. I want to make sure it's okay to even be asking this before anyone talks to her, because I have a feeling this isn't going to go over well. However, I really don't want to have to put away the family photo from our wedding later because it causes problems. Thoughts?