Thank You notes for Guest who are not attending wedding but have sent a gift prior to wedding

elisef25

Hi,

Quick question, whats the etiquette for sending out thank you's to guest who have sent a gift but can't make the wedding. My wedding is a month away, do i sent out a thank you now? Or do I wait to send thank you's after the wedding with all the  others? Also, do I cash checks I have received now or wait till after the wedding? I'm confused, Thanks so much!!!!

Megbo2012

Can I piggyback on this?  My shower is apparently in a month or two and I've already received a gift sent to my Mom's. Should I send a thank you now? I assumed yes, and that the gift would get brought to the shower in case she is also attending? 

toothpastechica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-notes-for-guest-who-are-not-attending-wedding-but-have-sent-a-gift-prior-to-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b14a5e9-91fe-47fc-b655-4e34f2894ed3Post:88edd6e6-498d-43b8-a001-12addd2b95f8">Re: Thank You notes for Guest who are not attending wedding but have sent a gift prior to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Send the thank you now.  "Dear so and so, thank you so much for your generous/thoughtful gift.  We are sorry we won't be able to celebrate with you, but you will be in our thoughts on our wedding day!"  Cash the checks now but don't spend the moolah till after the wedding.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

This exactally, if they sent you a cheque now they are expecting you to cash it reletively soon as they have the money in account, waiting to cash it for a long time they may forget about it and move money around/spend the money and either mess of thier finances when you do cash it, or the cheque could bounce. Put it in a seperate account if possble and don't spend it until after the wedding.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-notes-for-guest-who-are-not-attending-wedding-but-have-sent-a-gift-prior-to-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b14a5e9-91fe-47fc-b655-4e34f2894ed3Post:b4dd147d-975c-40c2-afea-d2feb05aca43">Re: Thank You notes for Guest who are not attending wedding but have sent a gift prior to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Meg, I would think if the intent is for your mom to bring it to the shower for you to open there, let it go until then.  What does your mom think?
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>We actually aren't sure.  She opened them expecting them to be wrapped, (they were from Macy's) but they were not.  The problem is there is some drama I don't know much about on my Dad's side with certain cousins/aunts/uncles or something.  They won't attend certain events if the others are attending.  We decided to invite all to the wedding (I hadn't been in touch with my Dad's side because of the divorce but I've been trying to contact them more now that I'm an adult and on my own.) and let them decide if they'll go or not. The gifts were from one of the cousins' wives so we weren't sure if she was sending it now so she wouldn't have to go and endure awkwardness.  Sorry this got long!</div>

elisef25

Awesome!! 5 Thank You's down, thank so much!!!

nancyfikebaker

This is the timetable i was told to follow concerning thank you cards.  if you get a gift prior to the wedding proper ettiquette is to send the thank you out with in two weeks of recieving it.  Gifts that are recieved at the wedding allow you a month AFTER you return from your honeymoon. 

rebarobert2012

Send the thank you now.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-notes-for-guest-who-are-not-attending-wedding-but-have-sent-a-gift-prior-to-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b14a5e9-91fe-47fc-b655-4e34f2894ed3Post:2643bdc8-2c0f-445d-b323-08b52c1017a9">Re: Thank You notes for Guest who are not attending wedding but have sent a gift prior to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Meg, one other question I have is whether you went with Macy's "green" option where you ask them not to wrap gifts sent directly from Macy's.  I would wait it out, since the shower is still a little bit off, but that's just me.  I'm weird.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>That's what I figured, to be on the safe side.  If she gets a Thank You a few days after the date of the shower, she'll think it wasn't given to me until then anyways, right?  We might have gone green. I honestly don't even know. Haha</div>

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-notes-for-guest-who-are-not-attending-wedding-but-have-sent-a-gift-prior-to-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b14a5e9-91fe-47fc-b655-4e34f2894ed3Post:bb5a451e-0716-4ed2-8502-82e0ec584a78">Re: Thank You notes for Guest who are not attending wedding but have sent a gift prior to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thank You notes for Guest who are not attending wedding but have sent a gift prior to wedding : That's what I was thinking, that it would be reasonable to assume that you would open it at the shower.  Dude, I told the consultant ok for that Macy's green thing without really thinking about it, and my mom and sister freaked out because they thought people would read it and think I wanted one of those tacky "unwrapped gift" showers.  So, I went in and changed it to make them happy.  Oy. 
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahahah that's crazy! Where would that even be on the registry site? I should probably change that if possible.  I'm all for going green but I don't want people to think it's weird haha</div><div>
</div>

Megbo2012

Hahaha I love that I checked it for the first time since I posted and it says you posted a minute ago! I found the spot, and it's not checked off, so that's strange that neither gifts were wrapped.  I wonder if it costs extra or something? I've never done it so I wouldn't know.

We totally hjacked this thread. And YGPM

Megbo2012

PM once more...

Megbo2012

Again haha