Grandma's Heart Attack

Night_Sprite

My paternal grandmother is 88 years old.  Her husband died in 1994.  She has dementia and has had it for some time.  She hasn't known me for several years.  She had a heart attack yesterday and survived it, but is not doing particularly well.  They also diagnosed her with congestive heart failure.  This all occurred after she had pneumonia and a bladder infection so she was hospitalized last week for those things.  I'm okay.  I'm not in mourning because I haven't known her for years and years.  I just feel so bad for my dad.  I don't know how to help him cope.  I also don't know if I can afford to miss school and work to go the 8 hour drive it would take to go home for a funeral.  Any helpful suggestions?

aggiebug

I am sorry Night sprite  

Even if you are expecting it, its not very easy.  I hope that she is pain free.  Just be there for your dad, give him hugs and let him talk.  

I would go to the funeral at least for your dad if it is at all possible.  Can you talk to your boss/ professors to let them know the situation, and maybe they could help make it possible for you to go? 

Nebb

Oh hunnie im sorry to hear that. I would just let your dad know that youre there to talk if he needs it, and that you love him.

katiewhompus

Aw night I'm sorry to hear that

Just give your dad a call and let him know you are there for him.

julezlee

That's awful, Night.  I'm so sorry.

I would speak to your professors or the dean (whoever's in charge of that kind of thing).  In my experience, schools can be very understanding when it comes to situations like this.  I actually had my law school finals delayed one semester so I could go to my gma's funeral and the school was very helpful. 

ohwhynot

I'm sorry to read this.  Just call your dad and let him know that you're thinking of him, that you're praying for him (if you pray), and that you love him.  Really, that's the best you can do for him.  I'm sorry. 

iamjoesgurl

I'm sorry to hear about this because it is something that is not easy to deal with, I'm sure.  When my dad lost his mom, he didn't really want to talk about it so I'm not sure what to suggest other than just to be able to give him a hug like aggie said.  As you said, you lost your Grandma several years ago, but being able to go there for a funeral would help you gain closure and would be nice for your dad.  

I think that the suggestion of talking with your professors is a good one and see what they think.  It seems like they will understand and want to help make accommodations so that you can be home.

Hang in there.

sucrets4

I'm so sorry, night.    Your family is in my thoughts.

lauralaur

It might mean a lot to your dad for you to make it home for the funeral. Ditto others and talk to professors, the dean, your boss, people are generally very understanding in these situations.

I would just give your dad a call every now and then and see how he's doing. I know when my nana died, she was very old and had been sick for a long time. When my father told me she passed away, I asked him if he was OK, and he told me that he was upset, but glad that she wasn't suffering any more. Maybe your father will look at it this way? I don't know what you can really do for him aside from letting him know that you're thinking of him as often as you can.

tidetravel

I'm sorry, Night.  That sucks.

RachNRich

I'm so sorry, Night---::hugs::

sweetpea0911

I'm so sorry, Night.  My Pops has the same sort of problems, so to some degree I know how you're feeling.

Definitely take to school people/bosses about special exceptions being made for you to go home for the funeral, if/when it is neccessary.  I know at my school, we get a three-five day "berevement" period, so they may have a policy in place for you.

As for helping your dad, just letting him know that you're there for him and that you love him will help.  When my Nanny passed away a few years ago, it really helped my dad and my uncle to talk about the good memories of her and to hear my good memories (this was a few days after she passed.  Be prepared that like PPs said, he won't want to talk at all).

I'm sorry this is happening.  I'll send out some prayers for you and your family, and in the meantime, take an *ehug* or fifteen - however many you need.

Night_Sprite

Thanks girls.  I know thinking about the funeral is a little preemptive.  It's just something I need to be concerned with because my academic schedule is so taxing.  I appreciate all the kind words.  

scoetto

I don't have any advice, other than I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandmother.

Sunshine9463

I think the advice from PPs is sound. Just wanted to add that I'm sorry

beatlesgirl25

I'm sorry Night, that's very sad for your dad and your family. I agree with everyone who said that your professors should be understanding about this. I hope you find a way to get there for your dad.

RachaelA

My grandmother died on March 22 (she had dementia as well so I understand). My brother goes to RIT (5 hour drive). He missed 2 days of class. He just talked to all his professors and they were fine with him missing class (and I think he even missed a test). I think this is a situation where they understand the need to miss class.

btrflykate1230

I'm so sorry, Night. I agree with PP and let your dad know you're there for him.