4th of July Weekend Bachelorette

MarianneLaleuf7

I need a bit of advice. I am getting married August 3rd, 2013 in France because that is where my whole family lives. My sister and my best friend live on the East Coast and I life in CA. The rest of my girlfriends live in CA. To minimize the amount people have to fly, if they plan on making the wedding in France, I want to do the Bachelorette in CA.  However, that is tricky for my sister and my best girlfriend because they will already be taking vacation time for the wedding. They are both deeply committed to making the bachelorette party, so I suggested that I do it over 4th of July weekend out here, to allow them to fly out for the weekend without missing any more work. They are both very happy with this plan, but the other girls in CA don't want it to be that weekend.  My sister is the one organizing it and the other girl is my only bridesmaid, so I feel like I should do what is best for them, given that they're traipsing across the world for me. I told the other girls I understand if they can't make it, but I'm being met with a lot of resistance. I don't want a big expensive blowout, just a fun relaxed weekend with my girls. Is it totally unreasonable of me to plan it on the 4th, given this situation? Thanks!

lyndausvi

I get why it's not a big deal for your sister.  However,  I would not attend an OOT b-party on 4th of July.  Especially if I was flying to France a month later.

banana468

Relax and step back.   GIven the logistics, you may not get a bachelorette.

BUT, this is a party for you and not one you should organize.   Say, "I know I've taken charge and I'm not going to be all bridezilla anymore.   I love you guys and hope we can get together before the big day but if that doesn't work out, I"m totally cool."

And mean it.   Now stop trying to plan a party that should be a present.

FutureMrsMDJahnke

Didn't op say that her sister was planning it and that the people who have an issue with the date are the IN TOWN people...? Or am I having a reading fail. Anyway, op, I think whoever can make it when your host can throw it will, and you should just make the best of whatever happens.

JaxInBlue

Agree with PPs.  Your sister has offered to organize this, so step back and let her coordinate with others.  It's still early to be thinking about this, and people's plans might still be up in the air. 

Your sister might want to clarify what she means by Fourth of July weekend, too.  In 2013, July 4 is a Thursday.  People might be hesitant to agree to a Fourth of July weekend bachelorette party if they think you are asking for a Thursday through Sunday type of thing, particularly since you are still 11 months out. (Not everyone will get or can take July 5 off.)  If your sister could be more specific, the local group might be more amenable - especially if she could plan the "main event" for July 6.

Also, there's nothing wrong with sticking to that time and having a bach party with those who can be there; my bachelorette was small - just four of us - but that didn't stop it from being a great time.

Kate61487

I think it's totally fine to have the party 4th of July weekend; especially since that's what works for your two OOT guests.  My bach party was memorial day weekend b/c it worked for my OOT MOH.  It's not like you're asking them to be there at Christmas or something. 

Let your sister continue to plan it; if your local friends complain to you about the date let them know that your sister is planning it and the date's not up for discussion.  Hopefully as more details are established and they realize it's just one night over that weekend they'll relax and many will attend, but even if it's just you, your sis, and your bf you'll still have a great time.

KellyBrian2013

Just don't be upset if people can't make it, being a holiday weekend.

We have standing plans with DH's family every year for 4th of July weekend and they would be heavily offended if I missed it for a bachelorette party of any kind. If I was your bridal party (or just a good friend), I would have to decline.