For those that kept their Maiden name - a question

aMrsin09

** I'm not really posting and running, just starting to get dinner going.

If you kept your maiden name, how do you (or plan to) prove you're spouses in case of emergency?

I plan on changing my name but haven't done so yet, so all of my paperwork has my maiden name.  We are going on a long road trip in February and it crosssed my mind, if there was an emergency, how will I prove I am authorized to approve medical care?  I have a copy of our marriage registration, do I need to carry that at all times? 

beatlesgirl25

This is a great question amrs. I'm wondering the same thing.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm not sure that it follows that just because you have the same last name, you are married. You could be siblings. Seems kind of a dated way to tell if someone is "married" or not.

tenofcups4me

Honestly I don't plan to ever prove it. We're married and anyone who needs to know will just have to take my word for it -- and suffer my huge wrath for questoning it! Quite honestly, in an emergency, I DARE anyone to try to keep me from DH.

ohwhynot

It won't come up.  In an emergency, they'll take your word for it.  Sharing a last name or not doesn't prove marriage at all, as a PP pointed out. 

tlv204

Mery just because it's dated doesn't mean it isn't applicable in a lot of situations. If you have the same last name most people wouldnt' question you if you say you're his wife, right or wrong that's what happens. Believe it or not a lot of people DO still take their husband's name, I'd venture to say it's still the norm even.

Anyway I have no idea what the answer to this question  is. At least for the trip it might not be a bad idea to bring your marriage license/registration.

tlv204

I don't know, I think it's a valid question. I wouldn't just want to assume that they'll take my word for it.

MyNameIsNot

We had to have our marriage certificate to prove we were married for insurance/benefit purposes with work.  But I can't imagine someone ever not believing we were married, especially in an emergency. 

Are you envisioning trying to get into the hospital and the nurse says doesn't believe you are married?  I just don't see it. 

JessAndTrav

I think in case of emergency, the need to "prove" that you're married won't be needed. You have rings? Does your address on your license match?

If something bad happened to you or your DH, I doubt that those in charge will doubt that the person that's frightened and frantically claiming that the other is their spouse.

You could keep a copy of your marriage license with you if you're that concerned, but I doubt that it would be a problem. Do you have any friends that are policemen/fireman/doctos/EMT? You could ask them.

beatlesgirl25

[QUOTE] Are you envisioning trying to get into the hospital and the nurse says doesn't believe you are married?  I just don't see it. 
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

I don't envision it being like that in the initial emergency, but god forbid there's something really wrong and you have to make executive decisions about care or life support. I wonder if it would come up then, especially if other family can't be there.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_those-kept-thier-maiden-name-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c693707-b2c9-44e2-9002-bbc5a622d531Post:c4916c0a-821b-4bce-9964-57db67a55343">Re: For those that kept their Maiden name - a question</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't envision it being like that in the initial emergency, but god forbid there's something really wrong and you have to make executive decisions about care or life support. I wonder if it would come up then, especially if other family can't be there.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

My sister's a hospital nurse.  I'll ask her.  But I don't think they'd verify your marriage.  I mean, they don't verify if you have the same name, and you could easily be siblings or cousins or anything else.  I mean, if you are travelling abroad, there are a lot of countries where they don't change names like we do. 

If I remember, doesn't your passport have some info about emergency contacts or something that you write in? 

bel138

Ummm....I guess I never thought about that. Never encountered it at work that anyone asked for proof.

ggmae

I keep a copy of my marriage cert folded up in my purse just in case I ever need it.

aMrsin09

Well,  we're in Europe and will be driving through 8 different countrys.  I'm more worried if one of us an allergic reaction or of there is a problem where medical treatment needs to be authorized by the next of kin.

Becuase we can speak English to other I'm sure they'll let us in to at least see each other just to calm the other down.

ETA:  H has an Australian passport, mine is US, same with our drivers licesnses.

tenofcups4me

I think in the scenario you're describing a durable power of attorney or health care proxy is more what you would want. At least, I think those are the names they go by now -- those are the forms that state who has authority to  make a decision for someone in case that person is incapacitated.

And you should have them even if you do have the same last name.

redheadfsu

Yep, get a durable power of attorney if you are worried, but honestly no one will doubt you unless there is reason to doubt it. Like his mother rushing into the hospital & screaming "i'm the only one that can make that decision." Or something like that.

Edit: Everyone should plan what they want to happen in an emergency situation (like, life support), but not changing your last name will not effect who gets to make what decision. That is what I meant.

aMrsin09

Thanks all.

I guess I will just carry the Marriage Cert for now.  While a Durable Power of Atty IS the way to go, I don't see us getting an International one togther and registered in both countires before the trip.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

When Ten said about power of attorney. I agree TLV, I know that something like 80% of married women take their husband's last name. I wasn't implying that THAT is a dated tradition, just that it shouldn't be a huge shock to encounter a married couple with different last names. Maybe in 1930, but not in 2010. 

And I imagine once they run your insurance or benefits and see you are on the same policy (if you are), they'll be able to confirm you are married. Same with living wills, etc.

ootmother2

The thought never occured to me.

There was a relatively minor accident once and I just told the emergency room desk attendant that I was Mr. M's wife.  They didn't question me.

tenofcups4me

Amrs, I don't know what the rules are like where you are now, but in the US you don't need to register the forms anywhere. They're quite simple and can even be downloaded online. The last time I was at the doctor, she asked me if I had the paperwork, I said no, and she gave it to me right there. All you need to do is fill it out, sign and have it witnessed.

Having said that, we still haven't gotten around to doing it yet...