I'm sure this is an issue someone else is dealing with...right? I want a small wedding - I want 125 people AT MOST. In order to do that, I want to not include my mom's extended family except for those that we see on a somewhat regular basis. Here's the problem, my Grandpa has essentially two families - a foster family, and a blood family. We never spent any time with either of them growing up ... but they are the kind of people who include everyone out of politeness in their weddings/events, and my mom thinks they will expect the same from us.
My mom is convinced that it would be terrible and rude to exclude them. I think that in this day and age, it's OK to tell people that you're keeping your guest list extra small, and would have loved to invite more, but are trying to keep it intimate.
Since my parents are contributing the majority of the money, I feel that my opinion has no pull. And that's frustrating.
Thoughts? Solutions? What does current ettiquette dictate?