Family members paying to invite people to the wedding

pestmeat

My fiance's sister in law told us she would pay for the cost of her cousins if we invite them to the wedding.  Our wedding day falls during the time she would normally be visiting her cousins and since the location is a kind of half way point between the two, she told us she would give us money to cover them.
I really resent being put in this position.  If I say yes I'm basically treating my day like a night club and sponsoring her family reunion.  If I say no I'm a bridezilla and planting the seed of bad blood.  Yes? No? Maybe?
Please help guys.  Thanks!

jamiefour

Can she just meet with them after the wedding or the next day.  I don't really think this is fair for her to ask even if she is paying IMO.

polichik

That's ridiculous. I'd say no. It's rude of her to put you in that position. If she wants to see them so badly, she can see them before or after the wedding.

Mrs.B6302007

nope

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_family-members-paying-invite-people-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5e1328f6-f45c-4e3a-8cea-74ae5a00780fPost:f6275f57-52fd-4d21-bc3f-20917f22d38e">Re: Family members paying to invite people to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]That's ridiculous. I'd say no. It's rude of her to put you in that position. If she wants to see them so badly, she can see them before or after the wedding.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

Word.

wcvsb3b5

Why she thinks you would want random people you don't know at your wedding is beyond me! That is very rude of her and you definitely should not feel bad in telling her no.

CCBelle

That is nuts.  Just tell her that your guest list is completed, and there is no room for additions/adjustments. 

mags0607

I diito what everyone else says, but curious, how many cousins does she want to add and pay for?

luckyme502

I would tell her no.  We cut so many people from our guest list.  I don't care who is paying for it, if it's not someone I am close with, they are not coming! 

pestmeat

In all it would be 4 adults and 3 children

ac_in_dc

Seven people? That's totally ridiculous.

 I'd definitely say no, and cite the capacity of the venue if you can as a reason for this.

squirrelly29

no way...thats rude and why would you want strangers at your wedding. If seeing her cousins is more important, then she can decline or make other plans to see them another time.

katiewhompus

Ditto the above. Just tell her that you have already given the venue the headcount and it can't be adjusted/ venue capacity / no.

squirrly

I would just say that you're sorry the wedding intrudes on the time she normally spends with them and that you'll understand if she's not able to attend because of it, but that you really aren't able to extend the invitation to her cousins.  You don't need to cite a reason.  If you do, I suspect she'll come up with a way around it, as she's already offered to pay for them.  Just say no and change the subject.

CaptiolBride

Tell her NO. plain and simple

2dBride

Aside from the obvious problem (not wanting strangers at your wedding), having these people is going to make it harder for you to limit the number of people you invite.  The normal rule is to have an objective cut-off (no relatives beyond cousins, or no children under 12) so it doesn't look like you are playing favorites.  That will be harder to do if you start with people in a group that you wouldn't otherwise invite.

tenofcups4me

Your FH should let her know it's not possible to invite those additional people. I agree with those who said not to give her a reason -- because that just gives her an opening to refute or work around that reason. Just "I'm sorry, that's not possible." But let him deal with it -- it's his family, right? No need for YOU to take the fall if someone gets pissed off about the no.

lori6666

Yes, let your fiance tell her no. Although, i was in a similar position and I caved. My cousin asked if his mother in law coulkd come to the reception because she would be babysitting their daughter in the hotel later. I said yes because i was put on the spot and didn't know what else to say. I've never met the lady and am not thrilled at all with her coming.

MeaghanandMichael

Just mark her with an upcharge ::shurgs:: make some moula?

eamaxin

I've received the same proposition - i've responded "thank you for the offer, but it's not about the cost.  we truly just don't have the extra space."

stick to your guns... this is your wedding.