MoH Inviting Own Friends to Hen's Party

[Deleted User]

Hey,

Now I was hoping you guys might be able to tell me whether this situation could be a potential etiquitte no-no..

My MoH (who is organising my Hen's night) keeps asking me if I would like to invite two of HER friends to the party. I do know the girls she is talking about, but I have only met one a couple of times and the other used to be my MoH flatmate. Neither are considered friends to me (though her ex-flatmate I would consider an acquaintance) and are not invited to the wedding. I think she will respect my wishes if I say no, but I am kind of feeling pressured by her. 

Her reason for wanting them there is that they are "fun" and can help with fuel (it is a 4 hour drive from where she lives to the Hens night city - but there are over half a dozen people invited from the same town some who she knows and a few who are already keen to car pool with her). We are renting a number of rooms in the accommodation venue, and the room we have rented is full so the cheapest cost to her already.

I have only invited girls who I consider to be my friends and am not sure whether I am just over-reacting in thinking its rude for her to ask, or whether I am justified in this. Your views would be appreciated. Thanks

katiewhompus

Generally it is considered polite to only invite wedding participants to the pre-wedding parties and showers. I would just tell her that you don't feel comfortable having people there who will not be receiving invites. If she pushes the issue then you did your part.

frenchy730

It's simply bad form to invite anyone not invited to the wedding to a pre-wedding party.  Even something as informal as a "hen's night"  Your MOH should not be creating her own guestlist, even if she is planning.  Just tell her no.

akmackay

It's poor etiquette to have them invited to the party and not invite them to the wedding. I say tell her no.

goetzr19

It's fine for MOH to make recommendations for people to invite (i.e what about your cousin?) or something like that.  But her two friends?  Seems tacky and that all she wants to do is show off her planning skills to her friends.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I agree with PPs, but I'd also like to play devil's advocate and say that maybe she really does need a driving companion because it will be hard for her to drive in alone?

Beachy730

As PP's said, its rude to invite anyone to a pre-wedding party that isn't invited to the wedding.  That right there could be the reason you tell her no.

I wouldn't think it would be that wierd for her to have people come if you were just doing something local like a girls night, but the fact that you are going away for it and doing an overnight thing makes it wierd to me.  If you tell her you aren't comfortable inviting anyone that isn't invited to the wedding, and she insists saying they won't care, then I would just be up front and say I'm sorry but I would really love to just have it be my closest friends and family.  Or whoever it is. 

honeybunches101

That definitely seems weird to me. I agree that only people who are invited to the wedding should be invited to this. Aside from that, this party is being thrown in your honor, to celebrate your upcoming marraige and the end of your single days, it's not really the time for your MOH to be hanging out with her friends.  It sounds like she just thinks it would be more fun if her other good friends are there, but she should get together with them another time.  I'd tell her that it would make you feel uncomfortable to have people that you barely know there.

[Deleted User]

Thanks guys - I think it isn't so much the driving thing (as there is many people who are coming from the same location) as much as she wants to include her friends in the party - as these are the girls who she parties with most weekends. But I think your recommendation about the Hen's night being for friends invited to the wedding is what I will use if she brings it up again.

Thank you all for your advice and assistance