destination wedding and pre-wedding reception gift question

minekellyrich

Ok, so my fiance's air force friends have invited us to both the prewedding celebration and to the destination wedding.  We have to try and figure out what to do about a gift.  They got us for our bridal shower a very nice gift and we are extremely close, so we were wondering how the gift giving in this case works.  With it being a destination wedding and the added cost of flight (big) and hotel, etc...what are the gift expectations...and are we expected to bring one to the prewedding celebration as well?

september's bride

Give them what you can, and don't worry about reciprocating.

What the heck is a pre-wedding reception?

mica178

I don't love your survey choices, so I didn't pick any of the options.  I'd probably just give one gift (most people don't want you to give them a physical gift at DWs -- you can bring a card if you want to bring anything) and have it sent to their home rather than take it into the party or wedding.  Give what you can afford to give, don't take their gift to you into consideration.  If traveling to the DW will be a financial hardship on you, it's perfectly fine to give a smaller gift.

emyinpink

Not sure what a pre-wedding reception is, but I would either write a check or send a gift to the bride and groom's home (in which case you could bring a card to the wedding itself).

AdeleDazeem

I hate the whole "well, they gave us this amount so we have to give only that amount."  Throw that out the window.

Give what you can afford after paying travel expenses.  If it's small or nothing, so be it. 

Anyone who holds that against you is not your friend.

minekellyrich

ok--sorry, clarification----the "pre-wedding reception" (PreWedding Celebration) is for everyone local who cannot make it to the destination wedding...this way they can celebrate with friends and family who wont be at the destination.

so overall response is if it is a destination wedding where we need to travel and stay at a hotel (not a cheap one/area...) ..is to take that into consideration when deciding the value of the gift..and that it should not be brought to the DW, but sent ahead of time or brought to the PWC?

Missy5580

I would send one gift ahead of time. I don't think that it's necessary to bring one to their "Pre Wedding Celebration". Personally, when attending a DW I take in account my travel expenses because otherwise I probably wouldn't have taken that trip.

Habs2Hart

I don't know what's expected in your circle, but in ours, if one has a destination wedding, their guests are not expected to give gifts since they are already putting so much money into being there.

I would bring something small to the pre-wedding (what you can comfortably afford) and then just go with a card to the wedding. 

tayylor65

I'd get them a nice but not budget breaking gift for their pre-wedding party and then just bring a card with a really nice note in it for their wedding.  They'll understand you had to pay airfare and for a hotel room.

Brandiewine11

Get them what you can afford. There is no rule that you have to match what was given to you. Just get one gift and bring a card to the DW.

janinekk

All our guests are traveling to attend our wedding and I've made sure my mom and FMIL know to tell people we do not want gifts. We're not even registering because I think having to travel to attend is gift enough.