I hope this is the right place to post this. Sorry in advance if this is a bit confusing.
I got engaged back in September and my FH and I decided that we would wait to plan anything until after I graduate (December 2009). So, when we told his mom that we were engaged she was excited and she said that she was going to throw us an engagement party. My fiance and I talked with her and we all decided that December would be a good time to throw a party since my family will be in town for my graduation (they are mainly from New York, Boston, and California). My FH’s family mainly lives in Georgia, where we live, and his mother said they could schedule anytime but since my family does not live close by my graduation time would be a perfect time for the party.
So, my mom and my FH’s mom were beginning to plan when my mom told me that my mother in law was being hesitant on planning anything. My mother in law and I have an excellent lady and we have a wonderful relationship so I was curious when my mom told me this. After speaking with my FH, he said that he was going to talk with his parents and figure out what was going on.
To make a long story short, his father is overly protective and felt like it was too soon to be planning an engagement party. He wasn’t onboard with the whole “engagement” part because it would only be about 3 months after we got engaged that we have a party and we don’t have any details yet. I can understand that since usually an engagement party is used to give details about the wedding. But the only reason myself and my family along with my FH felt December was a good time was because my family from out of town would all be here already. But his father refused to have any part in it and even after my family and my FH went to look at places to host the party. So, not wanting to cause any arguments within the family I decided to call the party off. My FH was giving me grief about how his father was acting and I didn’t want them to fight about it.
So, we ended up not having a party when my family was here. I did end up graduating and having my family and friends with me was wonderful but I still was a bit saddened that we weren’t able to celebrate with my FH and his family.
Now that I am graduated and we have a general idea of when we want to get married (May 2011) everything is good and it seems like his father is getting more on board with the situation. I would still like to have an engagement party at some point but am unsure how and if I should bring it up. I do not want to be seen as pushy or trying to start anything. So I have been silent.
I was wondering what other people have done. Have you had an engagement party? At what stage in the engagement has it happened?
It would be much appreciated for advice and tips on how I should approach it. Thanks so much for listening!