Guest List 911

Megs629

So my fiance is guest happy. While we have a fantastic budget, I'm sure all of you are aware of how quickly it disappears. While I feel guilty and wish our wedding planner had more of a guiding hand in this, I want the number lower. The biggest problem is that he wants to plus one everybody. While I agree that if you are with a person at the time the invires go out but he has a lot of chronically single friends. Like 20 or so... so by not giving them a plus one... tadaaaa, the numbers become nice again.

I thought talking to another couple that he was best man would help him get it but I don't think he sees the plus ones. Now I'm just starting to feel liek an animal and it really sucks... suggestions? help? anything?

LDYGTR13

I'm of the opinion that if you're not dating anyone by the time invites go out, you don't get a +1. If something comes up in the short time between the RSVP date and your wedding, hopefully they'll call and ask if they can bring their new s/o

J&K10910

Does he have any idea how much things are ACTUALLY going to cost?  If it's budget you're worried about, I'd run the numbers for him (make sure to include meal, favor, bar package pricing, any rentals that depend on number of guests, etc) and show him exactly how much it's going to cost.  He might not realize how expensive it's going to be.

Otherwise, this is something you guys are going to have to work out and compromise on.

aragx6

If it makes you feel better, I definitely think you're right, but being right sadly doesn't always gurantee you'll win the argument!

I would do as a PP suggested and show him, line by line, how much these extra people you don't know and will likely never see again will cost you. Remember to include the costs of two more tables and their centerpieces!

hlq2011

Tell him flat-out how much these people will cost, as others said.  If you're at even just $50 per head, and 20 plus ones, that's $1000.

That's, you know, a first-class upgrade for your a flight for your honeymoon, maybe?

SirJuliusVonHaast

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-911?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:613a0af4-0827-46ec-89eb-b9c11f2fee09Post:9f2fe81d-3908-4d42-bd0e-bb70eb8f20ff">Re: Guest List 911</a>:
[QUOTE]Does he have any idea how much things are ACTUALLY going to cost?  If it's budget you're worried about, I'd run the numbers for him (make sure to include meal, favor, bar package pricing, any rentals that depend on number of guests, etc) and show him exactly how much it's going to cost.  He might not realize how expensive it's going to be. Otherwise, this is something you guys are going to have to work out and compromise on.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>Totally agree with this, because I wanted to give everyone a plus one until I started crunching the actual budget and realized I could EITHER have the photographer I love OR give singles a plus one, but not both. </div>

larzhope

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-911?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:613a0af4-0827-46ec-89eb-b9c11f2fee09Post:0e1a4b53-56ad-4506-8717-d2a05f860cd9">Re: Guest List 911</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think singles should get a plus one. The only exception for this is if you only have a small amount of singles and they don't know anybody, then I'd feel a little guilty. If FI's 20 single guests know eachother or know other people at the wedding, its totally unnecessary to include plus ones. Even if they don't know anyone, there will be plenty of other single people to mingle with.
Posted by SkettiHeadie[/QUOTE]

This exactly.  We have very few singles who don't know each other so they are all getting +1's, but if we had a lot of sinle friends who all hung out together we definitely wouldn't have done that.

Ljacks87

We ran into the same situation (a lot of single friends, or those with GF/BF that we have never met). We only added a plus one for those that are married (obviously), have been dating someone for long time and we have met, or someone that does not really know anyone else at the wedding (as a courtesy). I really don't want your flavor of the week or a complete stranger present while I pour my heart out at the altar.