WTF Vows?

ohwhynot

The friend who's going to officiate our wedding gave us a book containing dozens of vows that, apparently, actual people have actually used in their weddings. 

There are the hippy-dippy "nature-based" vows ("I am a child of the universe.  You are my guiding star . . . "), the tell-you-whole-freaking-life-story ones ("________, when I was 14 I met you.  I knew then that I'd one day be your wife . . . "), the tryiing-to-be-funny ones ("I promise never to stand in front of the television when NASCAR is on . . . "), and of course the way overshare ones ("You arouse in me incredible passion . . ."). Gah!  Our BOSS is going to be sitting there!  Trust me when I say that no one in our office wants to think about the passion we do or do not arouse in each other. 

Have you heard eye-roll-inducing vows?  Did you use any that you suspect may have caused indigestion for your guests but you didn't care because they were special to you?  Some of these I cannot even imagine saying with a straight face. 

pumpkinpumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wtf-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:62159da6-27c1-4e92-bb34-2101cb6213e1Post:2cbbef52-2d21-47be-916c-51e8961ebdaf">WTF Vows?</a>:
[QUOTE]and of course the way overshare ones ("You arouse in me incredible passion . . ."). Gah!  Our BOSS is going to be sitting there!  Trust me when I say that no one in our office wants to think about the passion we do or do not arouse in each other.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

The first person you think of is your boss?? I'd be more worried about my grandma not wanting to know about that stuff...or my aunts, uncles, mom, dad...

BecW2be

I think I may fall into that second category - the indigestion-inducing party. I gave him the journal, and my vows were my last entry. He made a joke about vowing to join my fight to end the use of Comic Sans throughout the universe. We had serious parts, but they were honest, lovey-dovey and funny in parts. But they were crazy short, so I hope any suffering was short-lived by my guests.

I did go to a wedding once where the preacher started the ceremony with a sermon on why this couple's love would fail. Less than a year later, it did.

SwedishChick2011

We just did normal vows.  If I had tried to write my own vows, they probably would have been really cheesy. 

ohwhynot

PP, the only person of our parents' generation who will be there is fi's Mom, and she is hilariously funny and hip and frank about the sex-stuff.  So yeah, in our case the first thing I thought of was our boss. 

MattsPenguin

At wedding of FI's friend, his bride (who was only 21 at the time and a bit silly), said that the groom was the "sexiest man alive" during her vows!  SERIOUSLY!?! 

BecW2be

The night before, when I was writing my vows I said, "Maybe I'll just let him go first and then when he's done I'll say 'Ditto." The next day after I read my vows to him he looked at me, smiled, and said, "Ditto." as a joke. Jackass. It was funny though, because he had no idea I'd said that the night before.

britne28

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wtf-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:62159da6-27c1-4e92-bb34-2101cb6213e1Post:33b961d0-c646-4348-9eec-9ce26964a269">Re: WTF Vows?</a>:
[QUOTE] I did go to a wedding once where the preacher started the ceremony with a sermon on why this couple's love would fail. Less than a year later, it did.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

I would be mortified!  Even if was try, can't believe he started their marriage that way.

[Deleted User]

only the crap involving obeying and multiplying.