Is your fmil getting ready with you pre ceremony?

lstruggles

I've been going back and forth with what decision I want to make regarding this - do I invite my fmil or not? Her only daughter is in the wedding so today I made the decision and I invited her.  I mean, it really isn't THAT big of a deal, is it?  There will be myself, my mom, my 6 bm's/moh my moms friend from out of town who I have known my entire life and my future niece (her mom is a bm) my 2 year old daughter and our awesome babysitter to occupy her and my fmil.  Then we add the m/up artist, the hairdresser and the photog.  I think, why not? It's a joyous time when two families become one, but its going to be SO many people and it's at my parents home. I guess we will just spread out all over the place.

What's your take?

[Deleted User]

as a MOB I enjoyed the last hours spending time with my daughter the bride.  I know the MOG enjoyed doing the same with her son.  Some very nice momma/son pics of her with the groom

ahhhitsshannyn

Wow that is a lot of people. But if you want to invite her, invite her. I'm not really sure why you had to go back and forth on it. It really is not that big of a deal.

lstruggles

I suggested that to the MOG and she said it was a nice idea to spend time with her son until my fsil came in and gave me the massive guilt trip about her mom having to go to the salon alone while we all sit around getting ready and drinking champagne.  I'm no bridezilla so I sucked it up and invited her...my mom is not THRILLED but I will make sure I spend a lot of quality time with my mom the night before and the morning of the wedding before everyone arrives to get ready and of course the hours leading up to the ceremony.

MattsPenguin

My MIL and SILs got ready with us.  We got ready in a hotel room with the make-up and hair people there.  We had my in-laws get their hair and makeup done last, since the rest of us had to be ready earlier.  They all had lunch with my husband and FIL and then came upstairs.  It was just fine.  I probably have the opposite of an over-bearing MIL, so I never even thought about it.

aragx6

It doesn't seem like my FMIL's style, but I plan to let her know what time we'll be getting ready and she's more than welcome to join.

Avion22

My MIL came to the salon for hair and makeup...my sister and SIL were bridesmaids', and my mom was getting her hair and makeup done too, so it made sense to ask FMIL. My mom and sister were the only ones who helped me into my dress though, but that's because SIL was getting her kids dressed, and MIL was helping H.

Loopyseven

My MIL came to the salon with us and hung out with the girls for a little while (SIL was a bridesmaid) and then when the guys all arrived she went down and spent time with H and them while they were hanging out before pictures and stuff.   

mbuckley85

I guess she will have to be there for at least the hair/make-up part but I don't think I want her sticking around while I'm putting my dress on, etc.  Actually, our limo is making three trips to drop people off at the ceremony location (guys, than in-laws and FI's sisters/husband/nephews and last, the girls), so she'll have to be back at her hotel to get the limo probably before I even put my dress on.

runpipparun

Hellz to the NO. And I know my mom feels the same way about that.

lstruggles

update: my fmil declined the invite. She says she will get ready with her husband which was the original plan. 

RebeccaB88

I've never seen a FMIL get ready with the bride.  I've always seen both mothers get themselves ready at home/hotel/etc, then come to the venue.  The bride's family is with her, groom's with him. Guess it's just different at different places.

lyndausvi

My MIL was with me.  I also had army of people, what was one more?

Saw the update.  I think it makes you look great to invite her even if she declined.

HandBanana

My husband was getting ready at his paremts, they live closer to our church than us. Naturally, she wanted to spend that time with her sons and husband. I never even extended an invite because she just talked about how excited she was to have all the boys at the house. I really regret not hiring a photographer to be at the house with them.

saacjw

My FMIL will very likely split time between me and my FI. She will most likely get ready at the hotel and then come to the church with the rest of us, but that is largely because of the specific challenges that her paralysis causes for changing clothes.

The last wedding I was in, the MOG got ready with us. Her daughter (who was a bridesmaid) did her hair and make up and then she went down to the grooms room for pictures.

FutureMrsMDJahnke

I asked my fmil if she wants to get hair and makeup done with us... I didn't even really think about it. Though I imagine she'll be with her son by the time I get my dress on. When my brother got married my mom split her time between the groom's room and the bride's room. But I think that was probably because I was a bridesmaid and she felt less out of place hanging out with me then with all the groomsmen.

DramaGeek

I got ready with my mom and MOH, period.  But I'm not one for crowds so I really didn't want anyone around.  At the salon it was just me and MOH, then at the church it was MOH, me and mom.  My other BMs got there as I was finishing up.  I didn't even see MIL until photos.

expats14

I suspect someone will burst into flames if my FMIL gets ready with us. I plan to be polite and invite her (and she's welcome if she says yes!) but I also know I'll get the stink-eye.

lacey3eb

There is nothing wrong with inviting MOG and letting her decide where she wants to get ready.  My FMIL will have her hair and M/U done by my onsite person along with me, my 2 BMs, my FI Aunt (Reader) and cousin.  These are the people who knew hair and M/U services would be available and they wanted to partake.  I plan to have some Panera platters delivered so we can munch as we get ready and at any point the MOG, Aunt, and cousin can head to the Groom's room to spend time with him and the boys.   

jjcarmine

My mom has been very possessive over me during the wedding planning process. As much as I would like to invite FMIL to get ready with all the girls, I know my mom would NOT be happy. There is also the logistics of her getting to the hair salon and back to the hotel in time for the pick-up so it might make more sense if she stays put with her family at the hotel.