Shower etiquette? Invite coworkers?!?!

catsorr

Hi!  In a dilemma here...I'm inviting less than a handful of coworkers to my wedding.  Mostly my close friends and people that I work out with daily.  I'm not sure on what the etiquette is for inviting them to my shower?  I figure they will have something at work for me, and which they will spend $$ on a gift.  I don't want to put them in that predicament of having to contribute twice.  But then I work for a woman and we are very close and I don't want her to be offended that I didn't invite her to my shower.  

Thoughts??   

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-etiquette-invite-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6232acee-9a17-4041-ae8a-ed07502baa58Post:37873910-e047-4a06-b922-44c2061f02b5">Shower etiquette? Invite coworkers?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi!  In a dilemma here...I'm inviting less than a handful of coworkers to my wedding.  Mostly my close friends and people that I work out with daily.  I'm not sure on what the etiquette is for inviting them to my shower? <strong> I figure they will have something at work for me, </strong>and which they will spend $$ on a gift.  I don't want to put them in that predicament of having to contribute twice.  But then I work for a woman and we are very close and I don't want her to be offended that <strong>I didn't invite her to my shower.</strong>   Thoughts??   
Posted by catsorr[/QUOTE]

<div>They may have a shower for you at work, or they may not. If someone at your work offers to throw you one and you were not planning on inviting that person, you can simply decline the shower and mention that you are on a limited guest list/budget and do not want to hurt feelings. If they do something as a surprise, I would just say thank you and write nice notes to everyone. That could create awkwardness, but you don't want to be guilted into adding to your guest list. </div><div>
</div><div><div>I assume you are already having a shower of some sort outside of your job? You shouldn't be doing the inviting or throw your own shower, jfyi. If you mean this as in passing word on to a BM, MOH, or someone else throwing you a shower in your honor, that's one thing. Who is hosting it for you? </div></div><div>
</div><div>I would give whoever is throwing you the shower your guest list, and maybe section off the names of people. Label your coworkers as such, along with friends and fam. Then leave it up to your host to decide who she invites. She may want to keep it small, maybe to just family and close friends. The size of your shower depends on her budget, if anyone else is pitching in to pay, the home/venue she chose for the event, etc. </div><div>
</div><div>Edit: clarification</div><div>
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katieisawesome

"Label your coworkers as such, along with friends and fam. Then leave it up to your host to decide who she invites."

But not if the coworkers are *not* invited to the wedding.

noodle_oo

If the coworkers you invited to your wedding are friends, then I think you are fine to invite them to a non-work shower.  (like, woudl you still see them if you didn't work there?  then okay).  If not, then don't invite to the shower.  Don't invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding to your family shower.   Remember, people won't be that disappointed if they aren't invited to your shower.  Showers are expensive (gift) and boring, the only people who like to go are those that are really close to you.

You may or may not have a work shower.  Don't base who you invite to your other shower on whether or not you will have one at work.

catsorr

These are my friends, and I would be friends with them if I didn't work here.  I just don't want them to feel obligated to come to my shower.  WE always throw showers for weddings and babies..so I assume they will be throwing something for us.  Again, I do think they are boring.  My sister and mom are throwing my shower...They based the numbers on 1/2 of the wedding list, since everyone is a couple.  So well see....

catsorr

And they are invited to the wedding...Also, I'm not including some women on my fiance's list since I am not good friends with their wives.  I know it sounds silly, but I would rather have close friends then people I never talk to.