Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal shower/wedding invites (2 part question)

To my understanding (and maybe I'm off base), if someone is invited to and attends the bridal shower, shouldn't they receive a wedding invite as well?

Reason I ask, my FMIL is insisting on throwing me a bridal shower with a bunch of her family members I've never met. Now, my FFIL has agreed to pay for up to 50 people for the catered portion of the wedding. If in fact the answer to my question above is a yes, would it be fair to ask for her to pay for the additional people we will have to add to our wedding guest list (and their spouses/significant other/children)?

Thanks in advance!

Re: Bridal shower/wedding invites (2 part question)

  • Everyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding.
  • Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding.  (The only exception is for work showers - if the other employees you work with throw you a workplace shower, you don't need to invite them to the wedding.)
    imagemy to-read shelf:
    Steph's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-showerwedding-invites-2-part-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:62625040-1281-4c5a-b3b9-bcea9b291549Post:ac1e072e-2bca-4c19-b873-1d92b036b683">Re: Bridal shower/wedding invites (2 part question)</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she wants them at the shower, they must be invited to the wedding. If they don't fit in your wedding budget, either tell her to pony up or cut them from both guest lists.
    Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-showerwedding-invites-2-part-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:62625040-1281-4c5a-b3b9-bcea9b291549Post:ac1e072e-2bca-4c19-b873-1d92b036b683">Re: Bridal shower/wedding invites (2 part question)</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she wants them at the shower, they must be invited to the wedding. If they don't fit in your wedding budget, either tell her to pony up or cut them from both guest lists.
    Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

    <div>thiiiiiiiiiis</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-showerwedding-invites-2-part-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:62625040-1281-4c5a-b3b9-bcea9b291549Post:ac1e072e-2bca-4c19-b873-1d92b036b683">Re: Bridal shower/wedding invites (2 part question)</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she wants them at the shower, they must be invited to the wedding. If they don't fit in your wedding budget, either tell her to pony up or cut them from both guest lists.
    Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]
    This.  If she insists on them being there, and knows the budget limit, she needs to help pay since they are her friends/family. 
  • My grandma sorta did this Embarassed It was after the wedding, and I totally thought it was going to only be the family members on her side that wasn't able to make it (which was just a few people). Turns out, it was a 20 person event with people I'd never even met! Try to avoid it if you can, it was hella awkward.
    image
  • If they are invited to the shower, they should also be invited to the wedding.  Otherwise, it looks like gift grabbing.

    Either you or your fiance should talk to her.  If she has any common sense, she will either realize that they shouldn't be invited to the shower or she will offer to help pay for the extra people at the wedding.  You can't really come right out and ask her to contribute to the cost, but you could politely tell her that you can't afford the extra people.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards