Bridal shower hostess gift questions

[Deleted User]

My bridal shower is tomorrow, and it's being hosted primarily by my fiance's aunt (the shower is at her home) as well as his sister (one of my bridesmaids). What would be a good hostess gift to get for the aunt? I've gotten suggestions of giving flowers, a nice bottle of wine, or something from Crate and Barrel (she loves C&B). Maybe a serving platter? How much does one typically spend on a hostess gift?

Additionally, when should I give her the gift and the thank you note? When I arrive at the shower? Have it sent to her house after the shower (we live 4 hours away)?

You can tell that I'm clueless about this. Thank you for any advice!

sarahroslansky

I like the Crate and Barrel idea. Maybe a couple cool wine glasses from there and a bottle of wine? As to when to give it, I would guess bring it to the shower but don't give it to her until the shower is over. Also definitely a really lovely thank you note to go along with it.

nda8414

Those are all great ideas. I'd say maybe the $20 range (if you can afford that) and I definitely agree w/pp about giving it to them once the guests have gone home

winelover123

I'd go with a nice bottle of wine. I'd personally love cool wine glasses because I'm collecting different ones insteading of buying a full matching set, but I know some people think of wine glasses as useless unless you get a full set. I think you should give it to them after all the guests have gone home.

jessicabessica

I would give her the gift after the guests leave, and then write the TY note and mail it to her.  It felt weird to me to write a note for a party that hadn't happened.  Writing it after the shower allowed me to thank my shower hostess more specifically and for the personalized touches she incorporated that I didn't know about before the shower took place.  

Kate61487

I think at or after the shower is fine.  I sent mine in the mail a few days after the shower was over b/c I wanted to include a very personalized thank you and like PP mentioned it seemed weird to write a thank you before the event happened (even if it was technically given after).  Also, I didn't really consider it at the time, but it probably worked out for the best since my two hostesses were my aunts who both live OOT. 

I think flowers, an edible arrangement, wine, etc. are all good generic gifts.  Something from C&B could also be lovely since you said she loves C&B.  Cost can really vary; whatever you're comfortable giving - mine were right about $50 each, which is a pretty typical gift budget for me for a birthday or Christmas. 

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-hostess-gift-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:62bdd4e9-6855-4f8c-af41-63759663251cPost:5c26b0a8-42b5-4155-92e6-d4404cd87c69">Re:Bridal shower hostess gift questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I hope this wasnt an etiquette slip... I gave mine their hostess gifts after I finished opening my presents. I thanked everyone for coming, then especially thanked the hostesses and gave them the gifts. I also sent thank you cards to everyone.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Thou art absolved! Go and sin no more.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

You're right, it's usually more appropriate to give hostess gifts at a moment when you can do so quietly and discreetly, meaning away from the other guests, but this is not a major faux pas.  The etiquette police will leave you alone.