A little background: Mom's side of the family is fairly large and had a HUGE falling out after my grandmother died. This was many many years ago. I'm not close to any of them except one uncle and his family and vaguely close to the below cousin (from another family). Things are very tense when Mom's family is around and she chose not to invite them.
My cousin J was invited to the wedding. She's kind of a sh*t stirrer and tends to lie/exaggerate/leave things out. Prior to even getting out the guest list, she assumed she was bringing my third cousin (an infant, not hers and I've never met) and then by default my second cousin (the mom) to the wedding. J said she would "deal and take care of" my second cousin. She had to be straightened out that we aren't having kids at the wedding and even good friends' kids are not coming. She also had to be told that we are trying to keep it on the smaller side and since I haven't seen my second cousin (she's 18, I think) in years and I'm not close to her, that she's not going to be invited. J got a little huffy and sent a response back asking if we even wanted her there....uh, yeah, HER just not the batsh*t crazy family. With all that, we decided to do the wrong thing and invite her without a guest. She's not dating anyone that we knew of. Plus knowing her, she'd invite my aunt, or some other relative to stir the pot.
We checked in with her the other day and she said she hadn't gotten the invite. Now she says that she has been dating someone for a while but that no one knows about him (shocker). My mom confirmed her address and said we would get another out to her.
I know this is long. Sorry. How can I tell her that she can bring her boyfriend if she wants to (since etiquette dictates it) or an adult friend but NO WAY IN HELL can she bring a relative? I feel she's making up the boyfriend part and surprise, they won't be together when the wedding comes and she'll have one of her nieces or her mom or her sister with her. Any thoughts?
And yes, I own the error that I invited an adult out of stater without a guest. And no, we aren't close enough that I'm going to be heart broken if she doesn't come.