Kids, no kids?

MalinW

I'm having a dilemma...my fiance suggested that we didn't have any kids at our wedding, seremony and reception. I thought this was a good idea and we decided that the age limit would be 18 (minus my sister who will be 2 months shy of her 18th birthday). Only problem is that this will exclude 4 or 5 of my cousins (i have over 15 total..not inviting all of them though..only the ones i'm close to) it doesn't feel right sending out invitations to people and include two of their kids but not the third... and i can almost hear some of my youngest cousins asking their parents why the other cousins got invited, but not them....at the same time all of my aunts and uncles that have young children live 7 and 8 hours away so it's not possible for them to take their kids home to babysitters... and i really want everyone at our wedding to have a great time and not think of their kids running around way past their bedtime (really tired kids are not fun...not for the parents, the other guests or the kids themselves)... + we're on a tight budget and have a BIG family...

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63960882-e9c5-4a00-a47e-c03fe796fab1Post:b2f570f9-8fdc-4dfc-bc1d-0f66d9a11aff">Kids, no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a dilemma...my fiance suggested that we didn't have any kids at our wedding, seremony and reception. I thought this was a good idea and we decided that the age limit would be 18 (minus my sister who will be 2 months shy of her 18th birthday). Only problem is that this will exclude 4 or 5 of my cousins (i have over 15 total..not inviting all of them though..only the ones i'm close to) <strong>it doesn't feel right sending out invitations to people and include two of their kids but not the third.</strong>.. and i can almost hear some of my youngest cousins asking their parents why the other cousins got invited, but not them....at the same time all of my aunts and uncles that have young children live 7 and 8 hours away so it's not possible for them to take their kids home to babysitters... and i really want everyone at our wedding to have a great time and not think of their kids running around way past their bedtime (really tired kids are not fun...not for the parents, the other guests or the kids themselves)... + we're on a tight budget and have a BIG family...
Posted by MalinW[/QUOTE]

You may have just answered your own question.

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63960882-e9c5-4a00-a47e-c03fe796fab1Post:b2f570f9-8fdc-4dfc-bc1d-0f66d9a11aff">Kids, no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a dilemma...my fiance suggested that we didn't have any kids at our wedding, seremony and reception. I thought this was a good idea and we decided that the age limit would be 18 (minus my sister who will be 2 months shy of her 18th birthday). Only problem is that this will exclude 4 or 5 of my cousins (i have over 15 total..not inviting all of them though..only the ones i'm close to) it doesn't feel right sending out invitations to people and include two of their kids but not the third... and i can almost hear some of my youngest cousins asking their parents why the other cousins got invited, but not them....at the same time all of my aunts and uncles that have young children live 7 and 8 hours away so it's not possible for them to take their kids home to babysitters... and i really want everyone at our wedding to have a great time and not think of their kids running around way past their bedtime (really tired kids are not fun...not for the parents, the other guests or the kids themselves)... + we're on a tight budget and have a BIG family...
Posted by MalinW[/QUOTE]

Are 4 or 5 kids really that big of a deal?

We had lots of really tired kids at our wedding reception.  They got sugar high on wedding cake and had a blast dancing and were so, so much fun.  And none of them cried or freaked out during the ceremony.   Pics in married bio.

Calypso1977

i think in the cases where 2 of the 3 kids are 18, i would just opt to invite only the parents in those cases.  its perfectly fine to exclude children - we didnt have any at ours, adn i wouldnt have done it any other way.  we had a very long ceremony, that was hard enough for some adults to sit through.  no way little kids, who arent used to attending church, could have sat through it.

jnic0319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63960882-e9c5-4a00-a47e-c03fe796fab1Post:b2f570f9-8fdc-4dfc-bc1d-0f66d9a11aff">Kids, no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a dilemma...my fiance suggested that we didn't have any kids at our wedding, seremony and reception. I thought this was a good idea and we decided that the age limit would be 18 (minus my sister who will be 2 months shy of her 18th birthday). Only problem is that this will exclude 4 or 5 of my cousins (i have over 15 total..not inviting all of them though..only the ones i'm close to) it doesn't feel right sending out invitations to people and include two of their kids but not the third... and i can almost hear some of my youngest cousins asking their parents why the other cousins got invited, but not them....at the same time all of my aunts and uncles that have young children live 7 and 8 hours away so it's not possible for them to take their kids home to babysitters... and i really want everyone at our wedding to have a great time and not think of their kids running around way past their bedtime (really tired kids are not fun...not for the parents, the other guests or the kids themselves)... + we're on a tight budget and have a BIG family...
Posted by MalinW[/QUOTE]


We are having a "no kids" wedding, but not really because we made an exception for 1st cousins under 18 and WP members kids.  We wanted to make sure our wedding party knew that if need be they could bring their children (so far none are).  I think if you make a rule that you are allowing immediate family children only then that is perfectly acceptable.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:63960882-e9c5-4a00-a47e-c03fe796fab1Post:1eca2c1d-5fbe-4b8c-8776-bc9ddb9e6e70">Re: Kids, no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Kids, no kids? : Are 4 or 5 kids really that big of a deal? We had lots of really tired kids at our wedding reception.  They got sugar high on wedding cake and had a blast dancing and were so, so much fun.  And none of them cried or freaked out during the ceremony.   Pics in married bio.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

Ditto this exactly.  (except for the part about pics in bio).

I have a very large, very close family.  My mom is the oldest of 8, and my cousins range in age from 2-28.  I never could have imagined having a wedding without my little cousins there, and 2 of them were in it (3 y/o RB and 5 y/o FG).  They were a blast to have at the wedding, as they danced the night away and had a ball running around and using the photo booth.  When they wanted to just run and play, my aunts or other people brough them into the corner or out into the lobby and away from everyone else.  Most people have the common sense to do this.  We didn't invite any other kids, but we did ask my 2 BMs with kids if they wanted them to come and they said definitely not because they wanted a night out.

And I don't think there is anyway non rude way of inviting only 2 out of 3 kids to a wedding.  Its all or none. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63960882-e9c5-4a00-a47e-c03fe796fab1Post:92c7de49-2dec-4283-a2a2-59919d822ca1">Re: Kids, no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids, no kids? : And I don't think there is anyway non rude way of inviting only 2 out of 3 kids to a wedding.  Its all or none. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
i disagree completely. when i was a kid there were plenty of things my older sister got to do before me, because she was older. it's an important lesson for kids to learn: that they won't always be included in everything because they aren't old enough. and that life's full of disappointments - kids need to learn to deal with them.

jenellsrevenge

We are doing this, but our age limit is around 12 or 13. We don't have any kids in our family that really fall in a gray area, they are all either at or over the limit or 5 and under so we can get away with it.

aprilmelissa1979

We are allowing teens at our wedding. Only a total of 10. They are all 14 years of age or older. I have spoke with my other family members and informed them that any children under this age are not included in the invite.

I figure that 14 is old enough to enjoy the ceremony and reception.

Plus, its your wedding. You reserve the right to invite who you would like.
If a guest does not like it they can decline the invitation.

If you are on a tight budget, they should understand.