Asking Parents to Remove kids..

kbeveritt

I myself have children and they will be leaving at 9pm.. I want all children gone at that point. How can I write that on the invite????

AddieCake

You can't. Your guests need to be allowed to attend the entire reception.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:97d7a7d9-4a6d-4ab2-bfb4-7ab3061aa0fd">Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]I myself have children and they will be leaving at 9pm.. I want all children gone at that point. How can I write that on the invite????
Posted by kbeveritt[/QUOTE]


No.

misshart00

Even if this was appropriate, most of your guests would clear out at that time because I don't think any parents will take their kids home and come back that late. Just don't invite children if you don't want them there.

CallaLily25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:97d7a7d9-4a6d-4ab2-bfb4-7ab3061aa0fd">Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]I myself have children and they will be leaving at 9pm.. I want all children gone at that point. How can I write that on the invite????
Posted by kbeveritt[/QUOTE]

It would be extremely rude to write that on the invitation. You either invite no children or you take the chance that children will stay past 9pm. Depending on the ages of the children, there's a good chance that parents will choose to leave early anyway, but that would be their choice to make, not yours.

mlg78

You simply can't do that.  What you CAN do is have JUST your children and have someone take them home at 9pm.  If you were to do your idea I hope you realize that anyone with a kid would be leaving at 9pm...and not coming back and then your reception would just plain suck when that many people leave.

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:Asking Parents to Remove kids..:[QUOTE]I myself have children and they will be leaving at 9pm.. I want all children gone at that point. How can I write that on the invite???? Posted by kbeveritt[/QUOTE]
I think its gotta be either you invite those kids for the entire reception or not at all.

Its rude to tell any guest that they can only come to part of the party.

As the parent, you can decide for your children, but that's as far as it goes.

SJM7538

You can't do this. It's rude. But even if it wasn't how do you think this would work?? Do you expect people to find a babysitter starting at 9pm and have them pick their children up at the wedding? Or are people supposed to leave to drop them off with a babysitter and then come back? Think about it, it's not logical. If I was told my child had to be out by nine I'd feel like you were giving me some to type of curfew and decline all together.

meg2marryshane

A different twist is to reseve a room and hire a babysitter.  Babysitting service is available starting a 9:00 PM until 12:00 Midnight in Room ____.

Jen4948

You can't politely tell anyone that they are only welcome to attend up to a given time...even kids.

allychase

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:adb9f6fb-ed44-4b67-a897-805120a488c2">Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]A different twist is to reseve a room and hire a babysitter.  Babysitting service is available starting a 9:00 PM until 12:00 Midnight in Room ____.
Posted by meg2marryshane[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yeah and people will think that's optional and if they're having a good time won't take advantage and leave the reception. There may or may not even be a hotel nearby.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't understand why they have to be gone by 9?? Do you have strippers coming out at that time? What's the difference between them being there at 8:59 and 9:01?? 

</div>

jennyd412

Why do your care about the time children stay until? My wedding will have a total of 4 children invited (3 in the wedding party) and one friend's infant. The flower girl's grandmother, who will be a guest plans to leave when she gets the signal that she is too tired to keep partying. Her Dad, the Best Man is staying for the entire reception. My nephews, will stay for the entire receotion unless they get cranky and somebody will bring them to the hotel. The infant will probably sleep and wil leave when Mama gets sleepy. I would not tell any of these parents a time their child needs to be gone. I do work for a nanny service that provides childcare for weddings, so I will tell them about the option and let them book if they'd like, but it is very rude to invite children to part of a wedding and say they need to leave.

kbeveritt

Really i only know one person that will keep their kid there the whole night he is three and she will let him run wild and doesnt watch him. Everyoone else will take off take off with their kids early and my mom is taking mine to my house. I just dont know how to tell her to watch her kid or take him home. We have been friends since we were in preschool so i want to invite her but im not babysitting like i end up doing when we have get togethers at my house

jennyd412

I doubt you will even notice the kid. However, maybe you should reconsider inviting kids? One of the reasons I am inviting only children in the wedding party plus the small infant is because there would be WAY to many (Not always well behaved especially at night) children at my reception otherwise

mlg78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:c2a9ba72-9b63-44be-870e-0401e3aa35fe">Re:Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]Really i only know one person that will keep their kid there the whole night he is three and she will let him run wild and doesnt watch him. Everyoone else will take off take off with their kids early and my mom is taking mine to my house. I just dont know how to tell her to watch her kid or take him home. We have been friends since we were in preschool so i want to invite her but im not babysitting like i end up doing when we have get togethers at my house
Posted by kbeveritt[/QUOTE]
So you're risking looking like a complete bridezilla and telling everyone that all kids need to be out by 9pm because of jus ONE wedding guest?  That's ridiculous.<div>
</div><div>I'm pretty sure you'll be so preoccupied with your own wedding day to even recognize the kid is there.</div>

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:c2a9ba72-9b63-44be-870e-0401e3aa35fe">Re:Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]Really i only know one person that will keep their kid there the whole night he is three and she will let him run wild and doesnt watch him. Everyoone else will take off take off with their kids early and my mom is taking mine to my house. I just dont know how to tell her to watch her kid or take him home. We have been friends since we were in preschool so i want to invite her but im not babysitting like i end up doing when we have get togethers at my house
Posted by kbeveritt[/QUOTE]
I see where you're coming from because my friend is like that, too.

When ever her kids around it's like I'm expected to baby-sit. Ready for this? One time her kid was washing her hands in the sink and started splashing around. I was in the other room watching tv. Her mom was with her, but then left the bathroom to check the laundry or something. Anyway, her husbad comes in, sees her splashing around, and asks <em>me</em> why no one was watching her. Seriously. They're insane.
So TRUST me when I tell you, I know how you feel.
However, you still can't ask everyone to take their kids home at 9. I have, unfortunately, no better advice. I wish there was a better way to deal with it, other than just not inviting the kid.

hoffse

As a guest I actually enjoy having one or two really hyper young children at weddings - they entertain me, and they're ridiculously cute in their "fancy" clothes. OP don't stress over this.  There is nothing you can do about it, and you are going to use up energy you should be devoting to other aspects you can control.

kmmssg

It may be true that B&G will be too busy to notice the little demon child but chances are he will be bothering the other guests.  I know a couple of kids like this and it always happens.

Can you just keep the kids to your children and the wedding party, or maybe just take it out to nieces/nephews?  If you cut it off at close family kids that will take care of the problem.

I am a firm believer that kids are no different than any other category of guests whether it's coworkers, church family, or neighbors.  You do not have to invite every coworker and you do NOT have to invite every child.  You can easily NOT invite this child but that could lead to your friend asking why her child wasn't invited.  Then  you have to decide if you are going to tell her she is a crappy parent and is raising a demon chld.  End of Friendship.

I actually did this once but it wasn't due to a wedding.  I just got sick of their kids acting so horribly all the time and them not doing anything about it.  I wanted to invite other kids to my events and not theirs.  I wasn't giving up my relationship with the children of my other friends.  It ended the friendship.  It worked out for the best and I have no regrets.  They still have 4 of the most horribly rude daughters you will ever meet.

Simply Fated

"It may be true that BG will be too busy to notice the little demon child but chances are he will be bothering the other guests. I know a couple of kids like this and it always happens." This X 100. The bride and groom probably won't notice because they'll be off doing their own thing, but the guests are more aware of the real deal. At my friends' wedding the kids were getting down and dirty in the chocolate fountain. Some guests ended up with chocolate on them. The bride and groom weren't there and have no idea.

lyndausvi

As a guest kids are so distracting to me.    However, I find it rude that once you invite them you are requesting them to leave by a certain time.   I would think it would just clear out your guests if they have to take their kids home.

Amyzen83

Personally I think kids are fun to have at a wedding, but I get it, there are just some kids who are complete brats because their parents have lost control of them! I have to agree with what everyone's saying, it's rude to kick out your guests at a certain time. It sounds like the best way to go would be to hire a baby-sitter for the reception, so the parents can let loose and have a break. I can't really think of any parents who'd refuse, unless they had a newborn, but in that case the worst thing a newborn could do is cry. They can't run around and cause havac.

Is there a way you could diplomatically voice your concern to your friend about their child? It sounds like perhaps you need to have a heart to heart LONG BEFORE the wedding about their expectations of you when they bring their child over. If you end up by having to act as baby-sitter, when they bring the child over, it sounds like they are using you, or taking advantage of your kindness. Be firm and stand up for yourself. Politely tell them, that you don't mind when they bring over "insert child's name here", but they need to be the ones to keep an eye on their own kid. You would much rather spend that time connecting with your friend and listening to what they have to say instead of being distracted by their child getting into stuff. Not even sure if this is the best way to word it... Either way, if this person's really your friend, they should respect your wishes.

lauralaur

OP your problem is with your friend, not the wedding. They should not be using you as a babysitter and as their relaxing time, they should be looking after their own kid. Would you feel comfortable talking to your friend about this? My step-sister does this to my mother and step-father all. the. time and he's been dealing with Parkinson's for Pete's sake. My mother tried talking to my step-sister about it but it wasn't sinking in so now they just avoid having them over as much as possible, they try to go to their house if they can so they can just leave when they want. I would say just don't invite the kid to the wedding. If they don't come over it it sounds like it won't hurt any.

vsparkles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:b66908e1-3d26-4403-a34a-3c28b5e95d58">Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree with Addie.  If you don't want children at both the ceremony and reception (besides your own until 9 p.m.), you shouldn't be inviting any children.
Posted by Sylvia Weis[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Please then, HOW do you politely advise guests that children are not appropriate at the reception? That is MY question..lol.

</div>

BubbsNBubbs

IF the child starts acting up .....have your DOC or venue employee POLITELY ask them to reign their spawn in. If they decide not to follow directions, have same person ask them to leave. Seems pretty simple to me.

If it's a venue employee or DOC...they are PAID to make sure your reception is a success??

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:8756f313-6731-469d-82f6-55eeb89434ac">Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids.. : Please then, HOW do you politely advise guests that children are not appropriate at the reception? That is MY question..lol.
Posted by vsparkles[/QUOTE]

No, your question was how to kid the kids out of the receptions at 9pm.   

If you don't want to invite the kids you just don't invite them.  They don't go on the invite.    You CAN NOT allow the at the ceremony and not the receptions.   Doesn't work that way.  They are invited to everything the entire time or they arent invited to anything. 

QueerFemme

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:8756f313-6731-469d-82f6-55eeb89434ac">Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids.. : Please then, HOW do you politely advise guests that children are not appropriate at the reception? That is MY question..lol.
Posted by vsparkles[/QUOTE]

Don't invite them to the ceremony or reception.  If you are inviting them to the ceremony, you have to invite them to the reception. It's a package deal.

I'm with the PPs though.  If the kid acts like an idiot, have one of the staff members or DOC speak to the kids mom and say "Please keep an eye on your child"  If he persists, ask the mom and the kid to leave.  You would do that if there was a guest getting drunk and breaking stuff. Kids are no different than any other guest.  They need to be accomodated, and you are also within your rights to ask someone to leave if they act dumb.</div>

32daisies

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-parents-to-remobe-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63c59a23-fb4b-4c88-a655-c0b9d2d9599bPost:eafac4fd-7acf-4f07-8e3c-aa713e4e50d9">Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids..In Response to Re: Asking Parents to Remove kids.. : Please then, HOW do you politely advise guests that children are not appropriate at the reception? That is MY question..lol.
Posted by vsparkles
 : No, your question was how to kid the kids out of the receptions at 9pm.    If you don't want to invite the kids you just don't invite them.  They don't go on the invite.    You CAN NOT allow the at the ceremony and not the receptions.   Doesn't work that way.  They are invited to everything the entire time or they arent invited to anything. 
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

vsparkles wasn't the OP, who asked about how to have kids leave at 9pm. She's just asking a follow-up question of her own.