Early Rehearsal?

grizzly04

Would it by out of line if we have an early rehearsal dinner like at two or three in the afternoon? In all honesty, I just want to get home and get some rest before the big day, and I also want my family to rest as well. I would let the people know now who are coming to rehearsal that it is going to be an early one so if they know they can't get the time off or something we can change it.

vk2204

Are you able to do your rehearsal that early in the afternoon?

Personally I think that is too early, that is a lot to ask of people because most of them would have to take the day off of work or they might not be able to be there at all.

jessicabessica

Personally, I would not want to take off work to go to a rehearsal, and I would not ask people to do that either.  

If you are worried about having a late night the day before the wedding, can you have the rehearsal and RD two nights before?  If everyone is local, you could do a Thursday night rehearsal for a Saturday wedding.  

kmmssg

If it requires anyone to take time off of work then I say you shouldn't do it. I understand wanting the time to rest but not at the expense of someone else's vacay time or unpaid time.

[Deleted User]

Rehearsal takes what, 30-45 minutes, and dinner is what, an hour and a half-two hours? So, in total you're looking at maybe 3 hours. If you start at 6, you'll be done, at the latest, at around 9. Unless you're getting up at 3am, you can still get plenty of sleep and rest before the big day.

s-aries8990

Do you have a lot of OOT WP members? Can you do it 2 days before? I've heard of rehersals on Thursday for a Saturday or Sunday wedding. Do it starting btw 6-7pm 2 days before the wedding. If it's midweek, it should be a shorter affair (people have lives, kids, work, etc) and you'll get the day before all to yourself.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_early-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6456d89d-bdfa-41a2-8a66-d12311e63057Post:b1a93447-f239-44f6-a193-188781d975c1">Re:Early Rehearsal?</a>:
[QUOTE]If it requires anyone to take time off of work then I say you shouldn't do it. I understand wanting the time to rest but not at the expense of someone else's vacay time or unpaid time.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

Yup, this.

Starting at 2pm vs 6pm is the difference between working a morning or not working at all.  It's unfair to ask people to take off even more time for your wedding then they already have.

People are going to do what they're going to do.  You can't force your family to go to bed so saying you want them to rest is an odd choice.

If you want to rest, then pick a time to say goodnight and stick to it.  But remember, all these people came to see you and your fiance.  It's appropriate to hang out with them, host them, and enjoy them.  But, I see no problem saying you gotta leave your 6pm rehearsal and dinner by 9 or 10pm.

EDIT: Sydaries suggestion only works if everyone is in town.  I'd be reaaaaally irritated if I was an out town of bridesmaid and you said the rehearsal was two days before.  I have a job and all.

hgminor

I agree with PPs from experience.  I and my FI were both in a wedding for our friends and they chose to have an early rehearsal (2 or 2:30 I think).

My FI is a band director and this was only 4 days before their group evaluation (concert where they are judged on their performance, and would reflect a lot on him).  It was his first year teaching, and he just couldn't afford to take the day that close to the concert.  It was stressful on both of us (i took half a day off of my job, which was also kinda a pain) and my friend (Bride) kept making comments about about him missing the rehearsal, which really wasn't fair.

If you want to do this time, please just understand that some people will have a hard time and may not be able to get off work for one reason or another.  If you are really concerned about everyone being there, and you have the ability to book the rehearsal for any time, I would definitely suggest 6pm!

[Deleted User]

It sounds like it's a weekday so I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to have to take an extra day off from work to make it. Even for OOT guests, that would probably mean flying in on Thursday to make an early Friday rehearsal.

If it's a weekend, I think that's fine. Our rehearsal is earlier, but it's on a Saturday so no one has to take off of work.

fperez7542

Our wedding is a Sunday, and I spoke to the venue to have the rehearsal as early as possible on Saturday because many of the OOT BP are coming then leaving again because they have children and family to tend to.  So as of now our rehearsal is Saturday at 11am at the venue and then I am either hosting a 12pm Lunch/Brunch at a nearby restaurant or at home.  We are still discussing the guests we are inviting and where but the time is pretty much set.

Originally the venue wanted our rehearsal to be on Thursday which I diverted immediately being that everyone but my parents are from OOT. 

Your decision should be based if its a weekend or weekday.

AddieCake

On a weekday, no. We didn't get home until after midnight after our rehearsal, and I had to be up at 6 for the wedding. That sucked for me, but I was not about to inconvenience my WP or their SOs by asking them to take off work to make it earlier. 

OwningAHome1981

You don't need a rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. My 2 cents is if it's inconvenient for your guests, it's better to not do it if you feel you can't fit it in. Rehearsal doesn't take that long and from my experiences, most of the time we just ran through it like an hour before the ceremony and it was fine. I think that's best honestly b/c then everyone is already there instead of making them come out twice.

lizap77

My wedding is on a Saturday and FI and I both have wedding party members from OOT (7 out of 11 are OOT). Our venue has another wedding Friday night, so the only time we had the option of was Friday at noon (with rehersal lunch right after). We checked with all of the wedding party to let them know, and everyone was ok with it. We let them know if they couldn't make it it was fine though. The people coming from OOT were all planning on coming Thursday night after work as it was, so it didn't mean an extra day off for them. Of the 4 in town two already had planned on taking Friday off, one is a stay at home mom, and the last one said it was no problem.
I haven't been to a ton of weddings so no rehersal was not really an option I personally would be comfortable with. I would, however, be fine if any of the bridal party couldn't make it.
Overall I think it depends on your wedding party and what their plans are. If you do it during the day I would be sure to let everyone know that it is completely optional, and don't be offended if people can't make it.