Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...

christi.mayo

Good Morning Everyone!

So we have already put down the deposit on our dream reception location for September 2013. The problem is that it's about 30 minutes away from our home parish where we plan to have our ceremony.

I could certainly try to rearrange and have the ceremony at a different church, closer to the reception, but FI and I would much rather have it at the church we are comfortable in.

So I guess the question is this: is it rude to make guest travel about 30 minutes drive between the ceremony and reception? If so, what is the best way to handle it. My options are:

A: Change the ceremony site - not ideal for FI and I, but if it has to be done, we will make it work

B: Offer to provide transportation to guests who are staying at the reception location (a hotel) overnight, or who wish to go park there first...i.e. have a charter bus that will take people from hotel to ceremony, and back to the hotel

C: None of the above, 30 minutes is not that big of a deal.

P.S. we already have arranged transportation for the bridal party, immediate family, myself and FI

Snippylynn

I didn't read any of your options, because 30 minutes is fine. No worries.

adamar15

30 minutes is fine.  If it was any more than that I'd start looking for a closer church.

amyelise25

C.  I don't think 30 minutes is a big deal at all, especially when it's your dream reception place and your home parrish.  Both of which are important to you. 

Snippylynn

Stage, I thought the name looked familiar, but I can't remember what happened.

MyUserName1

I think it depends on the region. How spread out is your area?  How is the traffic?  If you're having the wedding in Chicago, and it's 30 minutes in traffic, then that's fine. 

christi.mayo

Stage, 

You don't have to respond, but if you have advice, I'd certainly appreciate anyone's input. I haven't been bratty at all in this post, and am, in fact, just trying to figure out what will be easiest for our guests. 

I would ask, however, that if you don't have constructive advice, you refrain from responding. Thanks!

LizzyRB

C

christi.mayo

MyUserName - Good question. 

For those familiar with the area, the ceremony would be in Evanston (the closest suburb to the North of Chicago), and the reception would be on Michigan Ave, which is downtown Chicago.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:5ab60155-e1d3-4c18-9224-e9e46ba6c0f7">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]Stage,  You don't have to respond, but if you have advice, I'd certainly appreciate anyone's input. I haven't been bratty at all in this post, and am, in fact, just trying to figure out what will be easiest for our guests.  I would ask, however, that if you don't have constructive advice, you refrain from responding. Thanks!
Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
<img src="http://www.atypicallyrelevant.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Bwahahaha.jpg" alt="" />

Snippylynn

I just read the previous post Stage is referring to. I hope you don't always sound like a snotty brat like that. 

But also? Michigan Ave to Evanston on a Saturday night is going to be traumatic. Especially if there are other events happening in town. Evanston is not THAT close to Michigan Ave.

christi.mayo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:33cf0ca2-e72d-4379-82f4-4f717cad819d">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, you can't tell people what or where to post.  Well I mean you can, but it doesn't mean they are going to do anything different.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>I didn't tell her she couldn't, or even that she shouldn't. I just asked that she didn't. A bit a waste of everyone's time I feel...but if that's her decision, obviously I can't stop her.</div>

MrsGandthebeag

That really depends.  If I had to drive 30 min from my home to get to your ceremony, then another 30 min further to the reception, and an hour back to my house, I wouldn't be thrilled.  How close are your guests in relation to these places?

Marrin713

That can be a brutal 30 minutes w/ traffic, Christi  but I've been to several weddings over the years where the ceremony was in a suburb and the reception in the city.  Also it can depend upon what's going on in the city on that particular day.  As a guest tho, I would be fine with 30 minutes; I've certainly traveled longer betw ceremony and reception sites.

christi.mayo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:250c209e-80ec-4925-8c78-6e93d014e7be">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]I just read the previous post Stage is referring to. I hope you don't always sound like a snotty brat like that.  But also? Michigan Ave to Evanston on a Saturday night is going to be traumatic. Especially if there are other events happening in town. Evanston is not THAT close to Michigan Ave.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think I've really been snotty or bratty in this post as of yet - although maybe a bit defensive.</div><div>
</div><div>I know that Evanston is not close to Michigan Ave, but the church itself is fairly close to Lake Shore Dr., so it should be a fairly straight shot up. </div><div>
</div><div>The ceremony should end at 4, which usually isn't too busy a time on LSD on Saturdays. But, if your advice is to change the ceremony location, or maybe provide transportation, I would obviously understand why.</div>

Snippylynn

I'm going to be honest, in a city like Chicago, I would keep the reception closer. There is no end to options down there. I know it's more expensive, so if that is out of the question, you should move the ceremony out to Evanston. I'm assuming the church itself is important?  But what if the pastor married you at the reception site?

Marrin713

And don't forget - it's always construction season in Chicago

christi.mayo

Stage, The ceremony will be a cocktail hour, seated dinner, and dancing likely from about 5:30-12:30. Thanks for the advice. 

Mrs G, most of the guests who don't live downtown will be staying at the hotel, so the reception would be their final destination. Completely up to them, but a negotiated rate at 2 different hotels will be offered on the invitation.

Snippylynn

Huh. I guess I've only seen Lakeshore Drive when it was busy on Saturdays? I think you're probably vastly underestimating the trouble people will go through to get to the reception in Evanston.  Where abouts in Evanston is it? 

H and I used to spend a weekend in Chicago every other month, so from my perspective, in a city like that, you choose either to be in the city for everything, or in the suburbs (and in the SAME suburb at that) for everything. It's a PITA for people to get around there. 

To me, it seems like you are vastly underrating the time it would take to get from one spot to another so you can have your 'dream' venue.

christi.mayo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:b233beee-8276-453f-807a-e5f6fef33488">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to be honest, in a city like Chicago, I would keep the reception closer. There is no end to options down there. I know it's more expensive, so if that is out of the question, you should move the ceremony out to Evanston. I'm assuming the church itself is important?  But what if the pastor married you at the reception site?
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

<div>It's mostly the church that is important. Our parish just got a new pastor, so it's not that we will have had a very lengthy relationship with him. </div><div>
</div><div>The reception is definitely downtown, as we've already paid the deposit. The only issue with changing the parish (other than that my FI and I would prefer to get married in our church) is that my dad is asking that I get married in a Catholic parish, and if you're not a contributing parishioner, the options are a bit limited for churches downtown. </div><div>
</div><div>But I definitely get what you' and PP are saying regarding the unpredictability of traffic in Chicago.</div>

christi.mayo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:814027e4-1175-46fe-bdd8-15fb722a5be9">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]Huh. I guess I've only seen Lakeshore Drive when it was busy on Saturdays? I think you're probably vastly underestimating the trouble people will go through to get to the reception in Evanston.  Where abouts in Evanston is it?  H and I used to spend a weekend in Chicago every other month, so from my perspective, in a city like that, you choose either to be in the city for everything, or in the suburbs (and in the SAME suburb at that) for everything. It's a PITA for people to get around there.  To me, it seems like you are vastly underrating the time it would take to get from one spot to another so you can have your 'dream' venue.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

<div>Also, I think you are confusing ceremony/reception venue...unless I wrote it wrong. The ceremony would be in Evanston, reception in the city. So inbound LSD.</div>

christi.mayo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:814027e4-1175-46fe-bdd8-15fb722a5be9">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]Huh. I guess I've only seen Lakeshore Drive when it was busy on Saturdays? I think you're probably vastly underestimating the trouble people will go through to get to the reception in Evanston.  Where abouts in Evanston is it?  H and I used to spend a weekend in Chicago every other month, so from my perspective, in a city like that, you choose either to be in the city for everything, or in the suburbs (and in the SAME suburb at that) for everything. It's a PITA for people to get around there.  To me, it seems like you are vastly underrating the time it would take to get from one spot to another so you can have your 'dream' venue.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry, there was a lot to respond to in your post. Of course I would love to have my dream venue for both parts of the wedding, but the point of this post is that I understand that I may not be able to have both, so I'm trying to find a workable solution.</div><div>
</div><div>FI and I plan to do the drive after church on Saturdays during September to make sure we aren't underestimating the time, but we've done it once or twice and it's never been over 40 minutes (and that's with bad/weird traffic)</div>

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:c54ecb39-c429-4077-89b2-351416e7eee2">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]Stage, The ceremony will be a cocktail hour, seated dinner, and dancing likely from about 5:30-12:30. Thanks for the advice.  Mrs G, most of the guests who don't live downtown will be staying at the hotel, so the reception would be their final destination. Completely up to them, but a negotiated rate at 2 different hotels will be offered on the invitation.
Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]

With this added info, I think it's ok to have the ceremony 30 minutes away (if it's truly 30 minutes), but I would offer a shuttle from the hotel where most guests are staying to the ceremony in case people aren't comfortable doing too much city driving. 

Snippylynn

Oh, oh. I see. 

Inbound is still probably worse than out, but that's how it is. 

Whatevs. 30 minutes is 30 minutes. 

MrsGandthebeag

Well if most people are staying at the reception site, I think it's fine.  In that case though, it would be best if you could provide transportation from the hotel to the ceremony and then back to the reception.  I wouldn't want to drive in Chicago traffic if I weren't familiar with the city.  

christi.mayo

Stage,
Yep, thanks for the advice. We are going to make the drive a few more times before we make the final decision. My thought is that if more than half the guests have transportation provided to them, and the drive is averaging about 35 minutes, we will be ok. If it starts to take much longer, we may have to look into a new ceremony site.

wrigleyville

Is there parking at the reception venue? That's my main concern. The straight shot south on LSD is pretty easy for tourists, but navigating Michigan on a Saturday afternoon is yuck-o. Have you checked your wedding weekend for any potential festivals, marathons, etc?

Also, I'd be okay with the 30-minute drive down LSD, but everyone has to drive up to Evanston for the ceremony, only to come right back downtown. That might peeve me off a little. You know your guests better than I do, though. If this is your family church and whatnot, then it's understandable.

I just really hate Chicago traffic.

christi.mayo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-and-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6492d5ca-9012-4a4c-9ced-22b720ff0205Post:ce13dca3-cadb-4173-9cff-08c39691d81e">Re: Distance Between Ceremony and Reception...</a>:
[QUOTE]Is there parking at the reception venue? That's my main concern. The straight shot south on LSD is pretty easy for tourists, but navigating Michigan on a Saturday afternoon is yuck-o. Have you checked your wedding weekend for any potential festivals, marathons, etc? Also, I'd be okay with the 30-minute drive down LSD, but everyone has to drive up to Evanston for the ceremony, only to come right back downtown. That might peeve me off a little. You know your guests better than I do, though. If this is your family church and whatnot, then it's understandable. I just really hate Chicago traffic. ;)
Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]

<div>Who doesn't! Traffic is unbearable here - but as long as I'm not sticking them on 90, I don't feel quite so bad. :) </div><div>
</div><div>Checked out the date and unless there's a NATO conference unexpectedly going on or something, there's nothing yet. </div><div>
</div><div>I was thinking many guests who might come from the North suburbs (Grayslake, Lake Forest, etc.) would have an easy time of it to drive the 30 min to Evanston, then 30 min to the hotel...it's sort of a halfway point, and if that's their final destination, it's not so bad.</div><div>
</div><div>There is parking at the reception venue...we have worked out a discounted valet price, or there is a self-park garage across the street.</div>

wrigleyville

Ohhhh, okay. I didn't realize a large percentage were from the north suburbs. That doesn't sound so bad then, since they're used to the area and are coming from the north.

Carrie81677

The good news is that it looks like Northwestern has a bye week on your wedding date.

Speaking as someone who lives in Gurnee, works in Skokie, and attended a wedding on the north side last November...I can't say that I, personally, would be thrilled with the Evanston/Downtown combo.

Is there readily accessible parking at the church, such as a dedicated lot?  If you're relying on street parking, that can be a pain to start with.  If there is a lot or garage available, what is the cost to park?

The drive may or may not be a nightmare, since Chicago traffic is fickle that way.  It's good that you're planning to test the route ahead of time.  It's also good that you've looked into parking at the reception site.  However, given that it sounds like many of your guests are coming from the 'burbs, how many of them will realistically be staying at the hotel?  Maybe you know in your family and social circle that staying overnight is the norm for weddings, but for my friends and family, if it's an hour-ish drive or less back home, then we're heading for our own beds.

I just think there is more to consider than just traffic/time between your two venues.  Take a look at traffic/parking to the church, traffic/parking to the reception, and traffic back out of the city.

I may sound overly negative, but please understand that my entire suburb-based family trekked down to the city for a cousin's wedding, and due to a lack of communication and planning, it was a giant PITA that left a lot of people supremely irritated.  Not what you want at your wedding!

christi.mayo

Thanks for your reply. As long as Northwestern isn't playing, guests will be allowed to park at Ryan field for no cost. There's also a parking lot for the church specifically. In my family's social circle, if an event is being held downtown, most of the guests will stay at the hotel. To clarify it is not the majority of the guests that will come from the north suburbs. I would say less than half. The other 51 will be out of towners staying downtown, or city dwellers.