Teen Mom

crfische

I'm watching the marathon.

The question is:

At what age do you think you would have been able to handle raising a baby?

What would you have done if you would have gotten pregnant before you were 18?

brookelynpaisley

I think I've finally just hit the age where I could handle it mentally, emotionally, and financially. Probably why the clock is ticking so loud my ear drums hurt.

Abortion. I honestly wish I could say adoption, but I think I'd have been too embarrassed to be pregnant so young. I had a scare at 18 with my HS BF, and that was our plan.

nda_roxybabe

I think I could have done it at 16. It definitely would not have been ideal but I think I was semi mature enough.
If I got pregnant as a teen I would have kept the baby, found a job and figured it out my own.

julezlee

1. Maybe 28?  I feel kinda OK to raise a baby now but I'm not really sure what to do with it once it passes the baby stage. 

2. If I'd gotten pregnant before 18 it would have been immaculate conception, so I probably woulda been calling some holy people or reporters or something. 

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_teen-mom-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:653b517d-ee17-456b-aa38-6e8c518d524dPost:d3461811-b882-4e65-8c20-c45572b20174">Teen Mom</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm watching the marathon. The question is: At what age do you think you would have been able to handle raising a baby? What would you have done if you would have gotten pregnant before you were 18?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

I could have probably raised a kid with a ton of parental support at 15-16.   No way could I have paid for that kid on my own, though.

Financially, I'm just now at a point (at 25 and a half) where I feel like FI and I could completely raise a child on our own.  It's nice to be at a place in life where getting pregnant would not be an epic disaster, like it would have been for the past ten years.

mandysmear

I think that because my mom was super supportive, I could have had a baby at 16 and she would have helped me big time.  Without ANY parental support, I still don't think I could really do it.  Is anyone ever really ready? 

I mean there are books and stuff, but you need your mom or some maternal figure to help you ease into it I think.  Who else are you going to call at 2am to help you figure out what's wrong with your baby when it won't stop crying?  I guess you'd figure it out as you went along.  But, I always had this idea in my head that if I had a baby, my mom would come live with my husband and I for a few weeks/month or two to help me.  A big reason why I am so hesitant to have children is because I do not have my mom anymore.

Before I was 18, my mom was around so had I gotten pregnant, I know I could have lived at home to save money and eventually gotten out on my own two feet.  I think my parents would have supported me mentally and financially to ensure I go to school and be a mom so I could have gotten an education and post secondary education. 

Had I had a child at a young age, I'd probably be living in my hometown pregnant with my 3rd or something stupid like that. 

Brie2010

Oh, and if I'd gotten pregnant before 18, as much as I hate to say it, I would have probably kept the kid and been totally dependent on my mom to help me raise it.

I am firmly pro-choice, but I don't think abortion is a choice I could personally make.  I also don't think I could handle giving a child up for adoption.

Which is why I've been on BC since I was 15.

crfische

I honestly have no idea what I would have done. I'm almost 30 and I still think I'm too selfish to raise a baby.

I didn't have sex before 18 either, but if I had and gotten pregnant, I would like to believe I would be able to to consider adoption, but I don't know that I would have been strong enough to do that.

I love the couple on teen mom who gave their baby up for adoption.

nda_roxybabe

Haha Julez, me too on that.

jasmineh7777

I couldn't have brought myself to have an abortion. My mother would have supported me. I likely would have seriously considered adoption, because I have no desire to be a mom.
Since I don't want kids, there's not any age at which I would feel comfortable.

JessAndTrav

1. I know that if it weren't for the financial aspect, I could handle a baby right now.

2. It would have been impossible for me to get pregnant at 16-18, but had I lived my life differently, I think that I would have had to keep it. Pregnancy, unfortunately, wasn't uncommon in my HS, so the embarassment part wouldnt've been horrible. My family would've been disappointed, but would have done their best to help me out without parenting for me.

nda_roxybabe

If I had gotten pregnant in HS it would have been a huge, huge scandal. I went to a very conservative christian school and I would have gotten kicked out and so many people would have looked down on me.

ggmae

I probably would have been able to handle raising a baby at 15/16 because my parents have always been supportive. Like Brie said though, there's no way that I would have been able to pay for it on my own. I had part-time jobs in HS and college, so I would have had to quit school and work full-time to afford a child so young on my own.

Well, I didn't have sex before 18, but if I had and had gotten pregnant then I would have kept the baby. I have a very strong, supportive family and I know that keeping the child would have been best for it and for me. I am pro-choice as well, but I would never consider getting an abortion.

ootmother2

Not a clue.  The fear alone kept me from having sex as a teenager.

There was just my dad and I think he would have been supportive but most likely I think he would have advised me to have the baby and give it up for adoption.  Doubt I could have done that either.

My daughter?  I know her H was her first but I also know they were very careful.
If she had become pregnant as a teenager, I would have supported any choice she made although abortion would have been very tough and she's anti abortion.

WildRumpus

Emotionally, I would've been able to handle it when I was 16. Financially, no way, not even with help from my parents.

If I'd found myself in that situation, adoption would have been the only solution for me. I wouldn't ever be able to bring myself to have an abortion.

mwhitson14

I am still not emotionally or financially ready for a baby, so I have no idea what the answer to the first question is. My parents would have kicked me out and disowned me for getting pregnant, so FI and I were (and still are) extremely careful.

What would I have done? Definitely adoption. LIke I said before, I would have had no parental support and there's no way we could have afforded a baby.

ggmae

Fish - I love the couple who gave their child up for adoption. They showed a lot of maturity in making that decision, especially because their home lives weren't an ideal situation for the child. Farrah on the other hand? I wanna smack her everytime she speaks.

SarahPLiz

I am ready now (31) and have been for a few years. I am just waiting on the wedding to happen and then I'll jump right on that train.

Like some of you, me being pregnant at 18 would have been an immaculate conception. Also, if I was pregnant at 15, my baby would only be 4 years younger than my little sis. I was helping to raise her since I was 11. I know its not the same because my mom was there, but I learned a LOT and she was all the BC I needed through my teen years.

My ex had a child with someone else during our 6-year relationship, and I took care of her a lot. SHe spent every weekend alone with me from 9mo to 2.5yrs (when we broke up) and I still take her some afternoons (she is 6 now)  if there is something fun I want to do with a kid. Taking care of her is a joy, and I love that she and I are so close.

If I had gotten pregnant, i probably would have had an abortion, even though I can't imagine doing that now. I was a 4.0 student on a college track and my parents would have been very disappointed. I know that sounds selfish, but 15-18 yos are generally that selfish.

nda_roxybabe

Yes, I love the couple who gave up the baby for adoption I feel bad for them though because they love her and I think they would have been good parents its just so unfortunate they didn't have a good support and home life.

tenofcups4me

Emotionally I was ready in my 20s, but not in a life position where I would have considered it (not married, living alone in NYC, no family in the city). 

There's no question in my mind that if I had gotten pregnant at 18, I would have had an abotion.

notaprincessbride

I wouldn't have even considered having a kid before I finished college.  If I had gotten pregnant, I definately would have gone for an abortion.  Luckily my birth control has always been effective, but I did have one pregnancy scare (stress + multiple, large time-zone jumps got me all screwed up) and I programmed Planned Parenthood into my speed-dial while waiting to pee on the stick. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Age where I could have dealt with it comfortably? 26. 

I have no idea what I would have done before then. Because I was never in that circumstance its something I can't really answer. I am 95% sure that abortion or adoption would have come into play, especially in high school or college. 

My parents would have also strongly been opposed to me keeping the baby. However, if somehow they wanted me to and I did, I would have gotten support for a while. But I never would have been able to go away to college or move out of state. I would have lived at home for much longer and I might still be living with them or near them. It would have messed up their plans, too. So I wouldn't have been worried about supporting an infant, but it sure was tough enough supporting 22-year-old me for a while.

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_teen-mom-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:653b517d-ee17-456b-aa38-6e8c518d524dPost:cd3516fa-def2-4308-95f7-27784dbdf5e0">Re: Teen Mom</a>:
[QUOTE]Fish - I love the couple who gave their child up for adoption. They showed a lot of maturity in making that decision, especially because their home lives weren't an ideal situation for the child. Farrah on the other hand? I wanna smack her everytime she speaks.
Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]

<div>I cannot stand Farrah either---but Rich always reminds me that there's probably a lot about her/her having the baby that they don't show (i.e. the dad's not in the picture, her parents are uber religious--maybe adoption/abortion were not option for her). </div><div>
</div><div>That, and her mom just got arrested last week for child abuse (hitting Farrah). </div>

alixzafiris

At what age do you think you would have been able to handle raising a baby?

I'm not yet ready so... er.... I dunno.

What would you have done if you would have gotten pregnant before you were 18?

Aborted it.

ggmae

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_teen-mom-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:653b517d-ee17-456b-aa38-6e8c518d524dPost:82395356-a467-4ed5-a17a-2f624d6b23ed">Re: Teen Mom</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Mom : I cannot stand Farrah either---but Rich always reminds me that there's probably a lot about her/her having the baby that they don't show (i.e. the dad's not in the picture, her parents are uber religious--maybe adoption/abortion were not option for her).  That, and her mom just got arrested last week for child abuse (hitting Farrah). 
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]

I remember her mom hitting her in a clip from the show last season.

Celles

I had a scare a few months ago and I know I would have managed, but it isn't something I feel "ready" for... and I'm 28! 

I have no idea what I would have done at 18.  I will say that I am very, very grateful that my birth mother chose adoption. 

crfische

Her mom HIT FARRAH?

I kind of want to hit her too, but I'm not her mother.

ggmae

FIsh - Last season they were arguing while driving in the car and her mom reached over and punched her hard in the arm. And apparently she has assaulted her again.

danieliza1127

Uh, I'm 32 and still don't think I could handle a baby! 

Really though, not in high school or college for sure.  Maybe when I was 20 or 21, if it had happened, I would have dealt with it but not any earlier than that.  My brother got his girlfriend pregnant when they were seniors in high school and it changed their lives and directions forever, obviously.  She couldn't go off to college like she planned but he went ahead and went and just came home about every weekend.  I don't think she ever ended up going to college.  They tried to stay together but ended up breaking up.  He's an awesome Dad though and has his daughter 5 days out of every week.

I don't have cable so I've never seen this show you're talking about.  I'm just babbling. 

squirrly

Any unplanned pregnancy prior to marriage would have resulted in my family abhoring me and disowning me, I'm pretty sure.  Prior to 23 or 24, I would definitely have aborted the baby.  After that, I could have afforded a baby and was responsible enough to take care of one totally on my own, which is likely what I would have had to do.  But, the idea of disappointing my parents that much still kinda terrifies me, so I would likely have aborted at that point, too. 

We're ready now, and hope to have our jobs and finances in order post-wedding & post-move to have a planned baby once we get relocated.

tlv204

I'm another immaculate conception vote. I think that I'm ready now logically, now that we're married and have a house and are pretty settled, I'm just choosing to be selfish longer since we're still young.

If I had had one before 18, I honestly have no idea what I would have done. I really don't and didn't know anyone close who was in that position.  I would like to say keep it or adoption, but I really don't know.