Wedding Etiquette Forum

Do I Just Leave This Alone?

My Bridesmaids chose to wear the same dress, even though they were given the option to wear different styles. They all say they love the style and the color chosen.

One of the girls has put on a large amount of weight very recently. Her dress does not fit. She tried on one of the other girls dresses which was in the largest size made, and it still didn't fit by a good margin. She decided to try to lose weight, and has not. She notified me that she went back to where we ordered the dresses, and tried to order an additional dress in the largest size made. She felt she could get into it by the wedding. They have discontinued the dress and the color we chose. It is not available anywhere.

I have asked her repeatedly if she just wants to choose a different dress that will fit her comfortably, and told her it doesn't matter to me what she wears. She refuses.

Now she has informed me that she wants to collect the fabric removed from the alterations of the other girls dresses, and "patch" hers together so it will fit.

I'm struggling with the image this creates in my mind. She is telling me not to worry, she will handle it. Do I just let this go?

Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Do I Just Leave This Alone?

  • I would just leave this alone. She's probably got enough on her mind knowing that she no longer fits in the largest size available. Just continue to support her. I'm sure it'll work out.
    image
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2013

    Actually, that process can work. when I got married at 19 years old (many many years ago), my sister got pregnant.  Three of my BMs had to get their dresses shortened and my sister, who was 8 months by the time the wedding rolled around, used their leftover fabric.

    the seamstress was able to sew in side panels, and you honestly, couldn't even tell that the dress wasn't made that way.

    So, take a deep breath. And hope for the best. I'm not saying it WILL work out, but it's possible.

  • Have you called your dress salon to see if additional fabric can be ordered?  I know the dress style has been discontinued, but perhaps they use that fabric for other dresses.  Otherwise, let it go.

    And super Friday kudos to  you for being a bride who is more concerned with having her friend in any dress standing up in the wedding than being the bridezilla who flips of dresses possibly not matching.
  • I also had a friend who could not fit into her BM dress at her sister's wedding.  Her tailor sewed in side panels, and you couldn't tell.  Hopefully this will work for your BM.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • Awesome attitude. Check with a seamstress. They can be maricle workers.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Totally agree with pp's.  Your wedding isn't until JUNE, and this is FEB, so there's plenty of time for her to get this worked out.  Talk to your MOH and have HER coordinate the alterations/fabric/whatever.  The MOH is the coordinator of the BMs, and so the MOH coordinates fittings, alterations, etd., and solves any issues / problems with BMs.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-just-leave-this-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:65dc4990-2722-459a-b917-4cecf6db35b9Post:85c7c6c5-8a4b-4ed9-abb2-3710f24081dc">Re: Do I Just Leave This Alone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Totally agree with pp's.  Your wedding isn't until JUNE, and this is FEB, so there's plenty of time for her to get this worked out. </strong> Talk to your MOH and have HER coordinate the alterations/fabric/whatever.  The MOH is the coordinator of the BMs, and so the MOH coordinates fittings, alterations, etd., and solves any issues / problems with BMs.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ignore everything but the bolded.  DO NOT ask your MOH to manage your other bridesmaids or their dresses and fittings.  Each woman should be old enough to handle that on her own.</div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • She might be able to find one of the dresses on Ebay to use as scrap fabric.

  • Poor girl. What a sucky situation for her.

    As others have said... I would just let her handle it. She probably intends to use the fabric in the sides to extend it. As long as she gets a decent seamstress, I bet it won't even be noticeable unless you're specifically looking for a flaw in the dress.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards