Guest list etiquette?

PrettySue

Okay so...I don't plan on sending my single guests plus one invites, just invites for themselves, i figure its our wedding we don't really want strangers there that we don't know...i will however be sending plus one invites to the people i know that are in serious relationships and that we've actually met their "other" Are we being unresonable by doing this?

blondie82784

I didnt allow people to bring dates unless we knew they were in a committed relationship or living together... We made it clear on our RSVPs by saying we have reserved ____ seats in your honor. So far we had one person ask if she could bring her BF and we said due to the size of the room we cant accommodate any other guest. Good thing I said that I thought our room held 250 and its max. out at 220. We could open another room if we really need to but I can only afford so much and Im not paying for your boyfriend of three months.So far its been fine and people understand

SaraAndrew2010

What you're planning on doing is generally fine.  The one exception I would make is if you are inviting a single friend, particularly one from out of town, who won't know anyone else at your wedding.  In that case, it's polite to invite them to bring a date so that they are not standing in a corner alone all night.

Alyssa0421

I would also make exceptions for single friends who might not know others at the wedding. I have a large family with many young adult cousins, and we struggled with whether or not to invite plus ones, because people 18+ are generally invited with guests at my family weddings. I didn't want my young cousins just bringing random friends because they could. But, we ended up inviting plus ones for all 18+ and really none of my cousins not in relationships brought a guest. BUT, a single friend from OOT did bring a friend because she hardly knew anyone else there. I was happy she felt ok doing this.

brookelynpaisley

We invited all single people to the wedding with a guest. Neither of us would have been comfortable going to a wedding alone, so we didn't expect that other people would either. None of our singles brought a date. I realize that we may be odd and socially awkward for not wanting to attend an event alone, so I think that not inviting "and guest" is fine too. Only you know your friends and if they'd be comfortable with that.

SparrowSong

I believe all singles over 18 should at least have the option of bringing a guest. Part of being a good hostess is doing what you can to make your guests comfortable and happy. And sitting alone at a table of couples, having no one to dance with usually doesn't make for a good time. Some will bring a date, some won't. But they will appreciate having the option.

banana468

I wouldn't limit it to the SOs that you've met.  If they're in relationships then they should be invited with the SO.

Beyond that, it's nice to extend the option of a guest but it's not required.

noelle24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-etiquette-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:65e5a55f-0287-4f83-93a1-376da9816ef1Post:9e679694-46dc-4dc8-abfa-7b88091e4e0d">Guest list etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay so...I don't plan on sending my single guests plus one invites, just invites for themselves, i figure its our wedding we don't really want strangers there that we don't know<strong>...i will however be sending plus one invites to the people i know that are in serious relationships and that we've actually met their "other"</strong> Are we being unresonable by doing this?
Posted by PrettySue[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter if you've met the SO or not.  If they're in a serious relationship, that person gets a +1.  To do otherwise would be very rude.

Lisa8888

You have to consider your guests. Most people prefer to attend with someone. It doesn't have to be a SO.

Kreskin79

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-etiquette-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:65e5a55f-0287-4f83-93a1-376da9816ef1Post:c4d9f84f-1b39-464b-80e1-629fcd428fe2">Re: Guest list etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Guest list etiquette? : It doesn't matter if you've met the SO or not.  If they're in a serious relationship, that person gets a +1.  To do otherwise would be very rude.
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]  You've helped me see that I misunderstood the question (I know - it's pretty straightforward, but I'm a dork.).  I do think it'd be rude to fail to invite both ends of a serious couple, even if one doesn't personally know both ends.

marisah83

I would allow your single guests to bring a +1.  I personally would feel super uncomfortable attending a wedding by myself.  If someone is in a relationship, regardless of if you've met him/her, he or she should be allowed to bring the s/o.

APW2010

We invited all our single guests with a +1. We have a lot of OOT guests and people who won't know each other, and most of our guests are couples, so solo guests would likely feel awkward. And personally, I wouldn't attend a wedding by myself unless I knew for sure I had an awful lot of friends going. Not to mention, are you sure you know the status of all your single guests? Even if you haven't met their SO you should invite anyone in a serious relationship with +1.

BiancaLab

I think what you're doing is fine.  Our reception is extremely limited due to the size (150 max for a seated dinner, if it were a cocktail style reception the room could hold 220).  If people don't understand, or don't want to come because you're not allowing them a plus one, then they're not as close to you as you thought and they don't need to be there. 

I do agree it's a nice gesture to allow the plus one to out of towners who won't know anyone, but again that's your prerogative.

andy71781

I think its nice to invite single plus +1s but you do run the risk of them picking a date that they may break up with - so your guest count might fluctate.  That's why sticking with long term couples is a safe bet.  I had THREE different people decide within the week before the wedding not to bring their date. 

cat1121

My rule on this ( also not wanting randoms I don't know) is that if there are other people that they will know, they can come alone. If they won't know anyone else, or are committed, then they can bring the guest.

Kristin789

What you have written is exactly what people have done for decades.

The idea of having single guests bring along their flavor-of-the-month date, to provide the date with a fabulous blow-out date night, is disrespecful to the religious foundation of the wedding ceremony, and it's clearly squandering the bride's parents' money by adding strangers to the total cost of the event.

In the south, people stick to the etiquette and traditions - and I have never been to a wedding where single guests were encouraged to bring strangers as their dates to a wedding...