Shower Questions

lovelyheather

I received an e-invite to a couples shower.  The invite was addressed only to me, but as it is a couples shower, is it okay to call the host and see if my FI is also invited? 

Also, the bride and groom only have a honeyfund registry.  What the heck am I supposed to bring to the shower?  I'd like to attend, because I am close to the bride, but I'm really at a loss here.  I'd rather just give cash than reinforce the idea that asking your guest for money is acceptable.  But cash at a shower seems weird.  But I also don't want to buy them a gift that they don't want/need. 

Any ideas/thoughts?

teachmegs1

I think that it's fine to call and ask about your FI coming.  The invitation seems a little confusing, and maybe whoever addressed them wasn't aware of putting both of your names on the envelope.

Honeymoon registries are becoming more common these days. Airlines are doing this too. I know Jet Blue has a honeymoon registry for airfare. A lot more couples are choosing to do this option, and while it's yes, essentially asking for money, I don't see anything wrong with it.  The four to five weddings that I've seen with a honeymoon registry have also registered for an actual store too, so I don't know if that makes it any nicer/less rude. I'm willing to say that most on here will say it wouldn't matter, asking for money no matter how you look at it , is rude.

If you feel uncomfortable, maybe you can put together a gift basket with beach towels, or a gift card to like Barnes and Nobles for them to go get some magazines or a book to read while on vacation. A gift that would coincide with their honeymoon may be nice. GL!

TKzilla

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:b0de8fd5-f5ef-463e-834d-180ecd3b5e0a">Re: Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that it's fine to call and ask about your FI coming.  The invitation seems a little confusing, and maybe whoever addressed them wasn't aware of putting both of your names on the envelope. Honeymoon registries are becoming more common these days. Airlines are doing this too. I know Jet Blue has a honeymoon registry for airfare. A lot more couples are choosing to do this option, and while it's yes, essentially asking for money, I don't see anything wrong with it.  The four to five weddings that I've seen with a honeymoon registry have also registered for an actual store too, so I don't know if that makes it any nicer/less rude. <strong>I'm willing to say that most on here will say it wouldn't matter, asking for money no matter how you look at it , is rude.</strong> If you feel uncomfortable, maybe you can put together a gift basket with beach towels, or a gift card to like Barnes and Nobles for them to go get some magazines or a book to read while on vacation. A gift that would coincide with their honeymoon may be nice. GL!
Posted by teachmegs1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yup. That's what we'll say.

</div>

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:d6d8907c-2ad7-480a-bdcb-65c689c5d998">Re: Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]No way would I give cash for a shower. They shouldn't even be having it. I would buy them a nice picture frame and be done with it. If I went at all.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

This.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:b0de8fd5-f5ef-463e-834d-180ecd3b5e0a">Re: Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE] If you feel uncomfortable, maybe you can put together a gift basket with beach towels, or a gift card to like Barnes and Nobles for them to go get some magazines or a book to read while on vacation. A gift that would coincide with their honeymoon may be nice. GL!
Posted by teachmegs1[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what I was going to suggest as well. I also like the frame idea.  The only problem is are you going to feel awkward when she opens an actual gift amidst what I assume will all be just greeting cards from everyone else?  </div><div>
</div><div>I'm so confused why they are having a shower if all they did was Honeymoon register. </div>

Maggie0829

I would just decline the invite and not go.  But I hate showers of any sort and I would also not be able to get over the fact that they are having a shower when they aren't registered for anything except through an irritating honeymoon registry.

STARMOON44

I believe the traditional gift at a shower with no registry is a ceramic chicken, although luggage tags would probably also be nice.

lovelyheather

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:b0de8fd5-f5ef-463e-834d-180ecd3b5e0a">Re: Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]If you feel uncomfortable, maybe you can put together a gift basket with beach towels, or a gift card to like Barnes and Nobles for them to go get some magazines or a book to read while on vacation. A gift that would coincide with their honeymoon may be nice. GL!
Posted by teachmegs1[/QUOTE]

The host just added a note to the invite indicating that significant others are invited, so I guess that takes care of the question.

Thanks for the gift idea!  The honeymoon is in Ireland, so I think I will just pick up a travel book or something small and Irish themed and tuck some money into it.  At least that way I will be able to give a physical gift and they still get the money they want. 

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:1a8f7376-a8bf-486d-a6ee-215f15dd1f4d">Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I received an e-invite to a couples shower.  The invite was addressed only to me, but as it is a couples shower, is it okay to call the host and see if my FI is also invited?  Also, the bride and groom only have a honeyfund registry.  What the heck am I supposed to bring to the shower?  I'd like to attend, because I am close to the bride, but I'm really at a loss here.  I'd rather just give cash than reinforce the idea that asking your guest for money is acceptable.  But cash at a shower seems weird.  But I also don't want to buy them a gift that they don't want/need.  Any ideas/thoughts?
Posted by lovelyheather[/QUOTE]

I'd personally rather have cash. I mean, what the heck am I going to do with a sugar bowl?

Picture frames are always nice gifts to receive, IMO.

Coghoot12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:92eb87fe-2117-4985-8b7f-260b8ebafa07">Re: Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Questions : The host just added a note to the invite indicating that significant others are invited, so I guess that takes care of the question. Thanks for the gift idea!  <strong>The honeymoon is in Ireland</strong>, so I think I will just pick up a travel book or something small and Irish themed and tuck some money into it.  At least that way I will be able to give a physical gift and they still get the money they want. 
Posted by lovelyheather[/QUOTE]



Here's what baffles me about honeymoon registries.  Ireland is quite an ambitious honeymoon.  What happens if not enough people attend the faux-shower and give money towards the trip?  It's pretty bold to assume that people are going to fund your European vacation let alone any trip.

MsYeck

I would maybe call and ask where else they are registered as you and others would like to purchase them a physical gift. Maybe they will take the hint.

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:871be301-eade-4d29-a521-6d6a15ded27f">Re: Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I would maybe call and ask where else they are registered as you and others would like to purchase them a physical gift. Maybe they will take the hint.
Posted by MsYeck[/QUOTE]

I like this also. I also like you're idea of getting them something small related to their HM...like the travel book.

winelover123

HM registries don't really offend me as long as the couple also has a physical-gifts registry. But I digress. You could always call as PP suggested and ask where else they are registered (hopefully they'll get the hint!). If not, your idea of a travel guide is lovely.

LaSak87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6630552c-f00c-42b1-a18b-5d5dc2df7f94Post:e12b3ca3-4a36-4295-9b76-d44cce998026">Re:Shower Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I believe the traditional gift at a shower with no registry is a ceramic chicken, although luggage tags would probably also be nice.
Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]
I had a regular registry at Bed Bath & Beyond and still got a ceramic rooster as a shower gift.  Did I do something wrong? haha

ETA: I agree with a cute gift basket with things they could use on vacation.  DH's cousin got one for her shower and she was so excited about having stuff all ready for their trip to Jamaica.

BeebeeT55

I agree with the majority that Honeymoon registries seem rude. But are people really saying it is rude to have a shower without a gift registry? I just don’t think so. People can shower the bride (and groom) with whatever gifts they want, no registry needed.