Minimoon Jar

sierraberry32

 Some time ago I had posted a story about my FI wanting a HM that we just could not afford. And a lot of the ladies suggested I do something called a "Mini Moon" which is like a small outing for just him and I. Nothing big and glamorous! I love that idea, but in order to get ideas I made us a "Mini Moon Jar" with this jar I have been putting slipps of paper in it with ideas of what I wanted to do and what he wanted to do. Well, a friend of mine came over and saw the jar. She flipped out saying I was being greedy by asking people to put money in my jar. Lol! Apparently she thought this was a honeymoon donation jar or something. When I thought about this even more, I realized that the original Honeymoon Donation Jar idea was really rude. Am I the only one that thinks asking your guests/friends/family to put money in a jar for your Honeymoon is just plain greedy?

Sharpschruter22

No, you are not the only one. It is brash to say the least. Unfortunately, posters on Pinterest seem to think it is the best idea they have heard and wonder why nobody else has thought of this before. They have...it's called the dollar dance. Sigh.

[Deleted User]

Totally tacky/greedy to ask for money.  However, I love what you're doing by slipping in the ideas.  FI and I are just doing a relaxed mini moon after our wedding and it would be fun to do something like this to gather ideas.

Maybone

I like your idea. And of course the asking for money is terrible. I origianally thought you were going to say you have been saving your change in the jar to help save for the mini moon. I most likely will be doing a mini moon myself, and I might have to make my own jar.  I usually save my change anyway, but having a jar out will help rem,ind me and FI to save for what we want, as well as come up with some ideas..  Thanks for the idea!

ElleB87

I think your idea is cute. H and I have a Date Night Jar that we each put ideas into and pull a random one out when we want to do something spontaneous. As long as you don't set up some kind of donation jar at the wedding, you're fine lol

wrigleyville

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minimoon-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:66a65da7-ed9e-421e-8ee3-3c243f4b4ffbPost:8f0781ea-1208-40c1-904c-9cfda2ca8bbc">Minimoon Jar</a>:
[QUOTE] Some time ago I had posted a story about my FI wanting a HM that we just could not afford. And a lot of the ladies suggested I do something called a "Mini Moon" which is like a small outing for just him and I. Nothing big and glamorous! I love that idea, but in order to get ideas I made us a "Mini Moon Jar" with this jar I have been putting slipps of paper in it with ideas of what I wanted to do and what he wanted to do. Well, a friend of mine came over and saw the jar. She flipped out saying I was being greedy by asking people to put money in my jar. Lol! Apparently she thought this was a honeymoon donation jar or something. When I thought about this even more, I realized that the original Honeymoon Donation Jar idea was really rude. <strong>Am I the only one that thinks asking your guests/friends/family to put money in a jar for your Honeymoon is just plain greedy?
</strong>Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

But you're okay with doing a dollar dance and calling it a Honeymoon Dance?

Same thing, sweetheart. Just because it isn't a jar doesn't mean it isn't as tacky.

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minimoon-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66a65da7-ed9e-421e-8ee3-3c243f4b4ffbPost:faab5806-5066-41b1-a906-ce04317d8189">Re: Minimoon Jar</a>:
[QUOTE]I think your idea is cute. H and I have a Date Night Jar that we each put ideas into and pull a random one out when we want to do something spontaneous. As long as you don't set up some kind of donation jar at the wedding, you're fine lol
Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

Hahaha I had the same idea of a Date Night Jar. But when I pulled out an idea it said "Go to dinner. Eat Ice cream and have sex in a drive through movie theater!" He seemed so proud, but I had to decline!

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minimoon-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66a65da7-ed9e-421e-8ee3-3c243f4b4ffbPost:6d15470b-78b2-4271-bb95-45f22b9819cb">Re: Minimoon Jar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Minimoon Jar : But you're okay with doing a dollar dance and calling it a Honeymoon Dance? Same thing, sweetheart. Just because it isn't a jar doesn't mean it isn't as tacky.
Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]

 I don't think I have a choice with the dollar dance... Even if we just have a dance with the bride or groom, people would still give us money. I think it is somewhat of a tradition. I have not been to a wedding where they haven't had a Dollar Dance.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minimoon-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:66a65da7-ed9e-421e-8ee3-3c243f4b4ffbPost:7195e146-69a4-4a16-8ce4-46d7a821c9ea">Re: Minimoon Jar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Minimoon Jar : <strong> I don't think I have a choice with the dollar dance...</strong><u> Even if we just have a dance with the bride or groom</u>, people would still give us money. I think it is somewhat of a tradition. I have not been to a wedding where they haven't had a Dollar Dance.
Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

Bolded - Of course you have a choice. JUST SAY NO.
Underlined - So don't designate a dance with the bride or groom.

I danced with plenty of people who were not my groom on our wedding night, no announcements, special dances, or money required. If someone wants to dance with you, they will ask (thus me dancing with my grandfather, H's brother, H's cousin, my brother, etc.). And the best part? My guests didn't have to whip out their wallets, my MOH wasn't forced to stand in the middle of the dance floor collecting singles, and the rest of my guests weren't bored to tears watching (or waiting for the good music to start back up).

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minimoon-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66a65da7-ed9e-421e-8ee3-3c243f4b4ffbPost:36bd2d39-aeb3-4b3f-8d69-2fe28e0fab96">Re: Minimoon Jar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Minimoon Jar : Bolded - Of course you have a choice. JUST SAY NO. Underlined - So don't designate a dance with the bride or groom. I danced with plenty of people who were not my groom on our wedding night, no announcements, special dances, or money required. If someone wants to dance with you, they will ask (thus me dancing with my grandfather, H's brother, H's cousin, my brother, etc.). And the best part? My guests didn't have to whip out their wallets, my MOH wasn't forced to stand in the middle of the dance floor collecting singles, and the rest of my guests weren't bored to tears watching (or waiting for the good music to start back up).
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

 Alright, but just realize that I know more about my family, than any other person on this website. And when I tell you they are going to hand out one dollar bills, you better believe it! So just relax!

KellyBrian2013

In Response to Re:Minimoon Jar:[QUOTE]
Alright, but just realize that I know more about my family, than any other person on this website. And when I tell you they are going to hand out one dollar bills, you better believe it! So just relax! Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

No need to tell me to "just relax". I really couldn't care less if you make an ass of yourself at your wedding. Dollar dances are rude, end of story. If your family insists on wanting to toss singles at you like you're an exotic dancer, by all means, have at it. But you do have a choice as to whether or not you designate a dance, or several, for that purpose so don't say that you don't.

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minimoon-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66a65da7-ed9e-421e-8ee3-3c243f4b4ffbPost:8d17a46b-0871-4531-9126-a8e769e7581c">Re:Minimoon Jar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Minimoon Jar: No need to tell me to "just relax". I really couldn't care less if you make an ass of yourself at your wedding. Dollar dances are rude, end of story. If your family insists on wanting to toss singles at you like you're an exotic dancer, by all means, have at it. But you do have a choice as to whether or not you designate a dance, or several, for that purpose so don't say that you don't.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

 If you could care less, then why did you make remark in the first place? Seems to me as if you are a bit hypocritical.

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minimoon-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66a65da7-ed9e-421e-8ee3-3c243f4b4ffbPost:dc78d9db-8581-4d87-a939-e8841740610f">Re: Minimoon Jar</a>:
[QUOTE]Your friend is absolutely correct. You are asking other people to pay for YOUR honeymoon. That's tacky. Don't assume that your friends and family will think it's okay. Most of them just won't be as brave as this friend, and tell you.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

 No no, the Mini Moon jar I am making is for ideas only, no money will ever go in that jar, and if it does, it will be my money. You should really read it before you start typing.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to Re:Minimoon Jar:[QUOTE]
If you could care less, then why did you make remark in the first place? Seems to me as if you are a bit hypocritical. Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

I commented because I care about etiquette. What I don't care about is the outcome of your choices. If you want to ignore etiquette and have a dollar dance, by all means, do so. You'll look tacky, not me. But don't sit here and say you "don't have a choice". Every bride has a choice whether or not to be rude to her guests.

hoffse

Whoa Kelly that's a little intense.  The dollar dance makes me roll my eyes, but it's a cultural thing.  I've seen it at greek and polish weddings.  The last greek wedding I went to, none of the guests threw the dollars - just the bride's family, and they were all singles.  It wasn't a big deal.  The exotic dancer reference was a little much - if the bride has never NOT seen a dollar dance, then that's what they do in her circle.  She's right - I've seen family members just start to throw money at a mortified couple before when that family expects the dance to happen.  Yes it's against etiquette, but it doesn't seem to bother the people she is inviting, and I'm ok with giving a cultural pass to people. **shrugs**

It's sort of like how every wedding I've ever been to has a full gift table.  It's rude for people to bring (huge) boxed gifts to the wedding, and it's a pain in the ass for the couple to haul them home, but that's what happens.  So we will have a large gift table as well (and yes it will look like we expect gifts, which bugs me), and we've already talked about coordinating vehicles to get the gifts home.