Choir/musicians/servers/etc.

runpipparun

We are of course inviting our officiant to our reception, but, in addition to giving them an honorarium, should we invite our church's choir, the music director, and the organist if we ask them to provide music? What about youth servers? We are required to give them an honorarium, but should we also invite them to the reception?

dumdumfroggie

No.  I wouldn't invite them unless they are friends.  Most Catholic weddings I've been to have done so in this way.

Are you giving a small thank you gift to each, however?

specialk84

No.

runpipparun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_choirmusiciansserversetc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67303898-c8b8-4eb7-af6b-79f3079a5774Post:7521357a-2e0e-4c5f-8065-ba4f740cb550">Re: Choir/musicians/servers/etc.</a>:
[QUOTE]No.  I wouldn't invite them unless they are friends.  Most Catholic weddings I've been to have done so in this way.<strong> Are you giving a small thank you gift to each, however?</strong>
Posted by dumdumfroggie[/QUOTE]

<div>I honestly have no idea how this is done, so that wasn't something that had crossed my mind. But if I get them each a gift, that's a lot of gifts. Which is fine. Should this be something similar to a wedding favor (NOT a seed packet)? Or something more substantial? We could have a smaller subset of the choir sing, and get them nicer gifts. It's a beautiful sound, but I don't think it will be powerful enough to lead the congregational singing. We have to use hymns from the Hymnal 1982, and none of our friends or family is Episcopalian. The songs are completely distinct from Catholic (my family) and Baptist (his friends and family) songs. Unless people can sight sing, or unless, when we sit down with the organist to choose songs, we choose broad spectrum, well-known-across-the-board songs, people will be a little lost.</div><div>
</div><div>I think it will be best to have the entire choir... What should we get them?</div>

specialk84

I don't think you need to get gifts for those people. You're paying them. That's enough. It's not like your cousin asked to sing for you--in that instance, you'd get her a gift, but you wouldn't pay her. KWIM?

runpipparun

Yes, I see.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_choirmusiciansserversetc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67303898-c8b8-4eb7-af6b-79f3079a5774Post:b953c7b1-4672-42dd-898a-c26fb42e8075">Re: Choir/musicians/servers/etc.</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you need to get gifts for those people. You're paying them. That's enough. It's not like your cousin asked to sing for you--in that instance, you'd get her a gift, but you wouldn't pay her. KWIM?
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

<div>Ah, I didn't pick up on the fact that you were paying them.  No, then if you're paying them, you don't need to get an individual gift as well.  Sorry for the misunderstanding.</div>

melb2013

Not necessary.  I've never been invited to a reception I sang at unless I was friends with the bride or groom.  I would feel awkward if I was invited actually.  And gifts are not necessary either.  You are paying them- if you want to go above and beyond, tip them.

xxstardust

As a former youth server, we never EVER got a gift/got invited. We got $20/wedding, which at 11 ruled.