To call them out or not?

MissMandey

I have a problem. People are RSVPing on me with other people who I did not invite. I.e.: I invited you; you're bringing your adult children and their spouses. Not gonna work for me. Venue holds 80; thus, I invited 80. When I said "and guest," I did not mean "and crew." So don't try to roll 6 deep on me when I only made room for 2. Seriously, if this keeps happening and I don't get any declines, what am I gonna do?

Should I let there be people who have to stand during the ceremony or call these people up and tell them that isn't gonna work for me? I will feel SO rude if people are standing during my ceremony, and it will look like I didn't accommodate for the people I invited.Plus, I'm so not crazy about the idea of paying extra for people at the reception who neither me or FI even know at a wedding that is strictly family and the WP. Wedding is making me crazy.

kikibaby

Call and tell them you can't accomodate all of their kids, etc.

louisvillebride21

Just call them and politely tell them that the invite was for them and one guest. You legitimately cannot accommodate more. Easy peasy. And? I liked your tone.

danieliza1127

It's up to you to call them and tell them that the invite was only intended for them, and due to space, you can't accommodate any extras.

squirrly

"We're so honored that James, Karen, Sue, Tyler, Joan and Robert want to celebrate with us, but unfortunately, we're very limited on the number of guests.  We'd love to see them for lunch another time, and do hope to see you and Charles at the wedding."

tenofcups4me

Call them and tell them you're so sorry, there must have been some sort of misunderstanding, but the invitation was just for them.

sarabellam

Listen to squirrly. She has the phrasing spot-on.

MissMandey

Especially classy squirrly....so calling and saying "b!tch, I ain't got room for you and yo' 10 kids?" isn't the way to go? Damn.... I never get to bring my deeply rooted West Virginian out on anyone anymore....

DanielleD7782

Def. call them! I like squirrlys words.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_call-out-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:676d75be-3db5-4b4d-8f3c-4c410ad13597Post:fb22cc64-bd82-4b7b-9992-535207c7a86f">Re: To call them out or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Especially classy squirrly....so calling and saying "b!tch, I ain't got room for you and yo' 10 kids?" isn't the way to go? Damn.... I never get to bring my deeply rooted West Virginian out on anyone anymore....
Posted by MissMandey[/QUOTE]

While it may be INTENSELY emotionally satisfying to phrase it this way (and I LIKE your style), it is probably in your best interest not to do so.

louisvillebride21

Lol, you should come around more often. What part of KY are you in?

SassyBrass

My favorite part was the Rollin 6 deep. I love it. Either way do let them know that all those people won't really work. Plus I know you don't wanna pay for all these other strangers. I sure wouldn't.

Side note: Kiki, that picture of your dog makes me smile. I'm having a crap day, so thanks.

tracy_k

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_call-out-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:676d75be-3db5-4b4d-8f3c-4c410ad13597Post:fb22cc64-bd82-4b7b-9992-535207c7a86f">Re: To call them out or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Especially classy squirrly....so calling and saying "b!tch, I ain't got room for you and yo' 10 kids?" isn't the way to go? Damn.... I never get to bring my deeply rooted West Virginian out on anyone anymore....
Posted by MissMandey[/QUOTE]

Oh, THIS. Please? Heh.

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_call-out-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:676d75be-3db5-4b4d-8f3c-4c410ad13597Post:fb22cc64-bd82-4b7b-9992-535207c7a86f">Re: To call them out or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Especially classy squirrly....so calling and saying "b!tch, I ain't got room for you and yo' 10 kids?" isn't the way to go? Damn.... I never get to bring my deeply rooted West Virginian out on anyone anymore....
Posted by MissMandey[/QUOTE]

You've just got to know your crowd.  Subtlety is lost on some people. 

loveslug

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_call-out-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:676d75be-3db5-4b4d-8f3c-4c410ad13597Post:479e2dd9-2477-432c-a9b3-4e6962a6da76">To call them out or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]I I will feel SO rude if people are standing during my ceremony, and it will look like I didn't accommodate for the people I invited. Plus, I'm so not crazy about the idea of paying extra for people at the reception who neither me or FI even know at a wedding that is strictly family and the WP.
Posted by MissMandey[/QUOTE]
 
Aside from the issues you already mentioned  exceeding the maximum occupancy number could be a violation of a fire or building code-which could be a bigger problem than a few of your guests having to standing during the ceremony.  Hopefully you remembered to count you and your intended, your officiant, catering staff, photographers, dj, and other non-guest list people in your total head count?

amandabartlett

You ladies crack me up! I needed that today!
I'm sorry you're having problems with the RSVPs....I'm not there yet, but I can foresee us having the same problem! Now I know what to say....I just havent decided which version I'm using yet lol