New Job and They Keep Talking About It

chinofiesta93

I started a new job about 6 weeks ago and immediately had to request our honeymoon off -- so right off the bat, my manager knew I was getting married, yada yada yada.
He keeps TALKING about it infront of coworkers! Super small company -- only about 25 including the warehouse guys.
Today at lunch he even said, "SOOO... what's on the menu at your wedding? Open bar?"
That's when I just flat out gave everyone a verbal open invitation -- thinking that prob no one will bother me about it again.
An hour later, my manager comes up to me and asks where the wedding is, and that's when I tell him, "I'll just bring a bunch of invites and all that information and leave them on the table in the breakroom and whoever wants one can have one."
I would formally mail invitations but 2 things are going on -- 1. the wedding is in a couple of weeks, and 2. since it's all out in the open, I don't want to hurt SallySue's feelings because she didn't get one.

I'm totally cool inviting and hosting all of them and their families if they all showed up but I just feel bad that I "invited" them the way I did.

Not so much that I'm asking for advice, just kind of a rant. I wish it didn't happen the way it did -- I just feel bad about it. I just had no intentions of inviting any of them or even discuss the wedding at work only because I'm new and didn't want to seem show-offy or anything like that.
My manager just LOVES talking about it and seriously mentions it almost every day.

MoonlightSilver

Why did you respond to your manager's question with "I'll just invite you all" instead of "It's a small wedding, can you tell me about that project you wanted me to do?"It's too late now, since you did offer to invite them all, but if you didn't want them there you shouldn't have said it.

Also, I'd take your manager aside as soon as possible and ask him to stop bringing up the wedding, that it's making you uncomfortable. 

marta119

Ditto PP, if you didn't want them there why did you invite them??? I have 10 people in my department and I'm inviting three of them (with their spouses/SO).  When by boss asked one of my coworkers where I'm registered (few months ago) she didn't give her any info because she knew I wasn't inviting her.  If my boss asked me personally I would have done the same.  None of the uninvited coworkers bring up/say anything to me to suggest they're offended I didn't invite them.  Everyone is an adult and they should know you can't invite everyone you ever met.  And you just started there 6 weeks ago? That stinks.
You already verbally invited them... why don't you write their names on the envelopes and at least hand hand deliver them? Just leaving them on the table wouldn't sit well with me.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_new-job-and-they-keep-talking-about-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67ba6a3d-3df9-47cb-85d5-bb991ad249b9Post:132dc523-dcfd-489a-8397-456d406826e6">New Job and They Keep Talking About It</a>:
[QUOTE]I started a new job about 6 weeks ago and immediately had to request our honeymoon off -- so right off the bat, my manager knew I was getting married, yada yada yada. He keeps TALKING about it infront of coworkers! Super small company -- only about 25 including the warehouse guys. Today at lunch he even said, "SOOO... what's on the menu at your wedding? Open bar?" That's when I just flat out gave everyone a verbal open invitation -- thinking that prob no one will bother me about it again. An hour later, my manager comes up to me and asks where the wedding is, and that's when I tell him, <strong>"I'll just bring a bunch of invites and all that information and leave them on the table in the breakroom and whoever wants one can have one." </strong>I would formally mail invitations but 2 things are going on -- 1. the wedding is in a couple of weeks, and 2. since it's all out in the open, I don't want to hurt SallySue's feelings because she didn't get one.<strong> I'm totally cool inviting and hosting all of them and their families if they all showed up </strong>but I just feel bad that I "invited" them the way I did. Not so much that I'm asking for advice, just kind of a rant. I wish it didn't happen the way it did -- I just feel bad about it. I just had no intentions of inviting any of them or even discuss the wedding at work only because I'm new and didn't want to seem show-offy or anything like that. My manager just LOVES talking about it and seriously mentions it almost every day.
Posted by chinofiesta93[/QUOTE]
The bolded worries me. There appears to be an open invitation to the entire office with no RSVP setup. How will you know how many might "show up" and how will you properly host them without knowing how many extra people you're looking at? Your manager may come and may bring a spouse or date, and that would maybe be fine. But what about Sally Sue who maybe brings herself, her husband, and their 4 kids plus her mother who is visiting that weekend?  

swimmy1988

You might want to hand out the invitations personally, with the appropriate inserts, in order to get an idea of how many extra bodies you'll be hosting at your wedding. That way you can give your venue and caterer a better estimate of guests.

emeejeeayen

I feel your pain. My office looooves to talk about weddings, and it doesn't help that others in the offices are also engaged. I get asked over and over details about the wedding, and I try my best to be vague, but sometimes it's unavoidable. To make matters worse, my wedding is 3000 miles away from our office, so it's not like the entire office could take a day off for my wedding, especially when I've only been there for a few months. I don't think you should have invited all your coworkers like that, but I do understand why you did. With that said, you need to find a way to make sure you can get an adequate head count.