Seating arrangements

JordynLeighx3

Im probably way over thinking this but, the girlfriend of our best man is attending the wedding. My original plan was to just seat her with best mans parents but, she recently just informed me that they no longer get along. I would hate for her to be seated at a table where she knew nobody and the head table is on a riser and were already at mass capacity for the head table. So then I figured I could just leave an open chair next to the girlfriend so best man could go eat dinner with her after his speech. Then I thought that it would be unfair for one to do that without having all the attendants have the option to eat with their guest. So my plan was to do it for all the ones bringing a guest. Then my mom freaked saying how awkward it would look with FI and I sitting with 3 people at the head table of 14. I personally don't have an issue with it but I just want everyone to be comfortable. The head table is attached to the ground so a smaller table is no option. And a sweetheart table is out due to the fact that there is absolutely NO room for one. What would you ladies do? TIA also sorry for not using paragraphs. Tk mobile sucks.

aragx6

This is exactly why sweetheart tables were invented. Ditch the head table, and sit together as a couple. This will allow all your guests to sit with their SOs -- to do otherwise is pretty rude -- even if it is what you're used to seeing.

edit: I got bored because there were no paragraph breaks and didn't finish reading your post before I answered. I see you say there's no room for a sweetheart table -- I would try to make this work. Don't be rude to your guests because it makes layout harder.

brilibby4

How is there room for a large head person table, but not room for a small sweetheart table?

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-arrangements-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6835ef90-8659-4f2c-9aca-6c11c2ec5ce8Post:1ede1de1-27fe-4cb4-b911-7ce94adcfa8a">Re: Seating arrangements</a>:
[QUOTE]How is there room for a large head person table, but not room for a small sweetheart table?
Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

That's what I'm wondering,

OP if you're not keen on a sweetheart table, you can still have just regular round banquet tables for you and your WP (WITH their SOs). You and FI could sit at a table with MOH and her SO, Best man and his SO, etc. Or you could sit your WP members with their guests amongst your other guests, seating them with people they know/would get along with and you and FI could sit at a table with your families, etc. There are many ways to do this and avoid the head table/splitting SOs dilemma.

ETA: I find it weird that a venue would have a huge table on risers attached to the ground. Are you sure they can't move it?

MyUserName1

That's really weird. So everyone who uses that venue has to have a head table with 14 people? What if your wedding party contains 16 people?  Or four?  awkward.

mtbentley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-arrangements-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6835ef90-8659-4f2c-9aca-6c11c2ec5ce8Post:3de0f2d1-1e11-47b5-913b-61ed33c5b7c3">Seating arrangements</a>:
[QUOTE]Im probably way over thinking this but, the girlfriend of our best man is attending the wedding. My original plan was to just seat her with best mans parents but, she recently just informed me that they no longer get along. I would hate for her to be seated at a table where she knew nobody and the head table is on a riser and were already at mass capacity for the head table. So then I figured I could just leave an open chair next to the girlfriend so best man could go eat dinner with her after his speech. Then I thought that it would be unfair for one to do that without having all the attendants have the option to eat with their guest. So my plan was to do it for all the ones bringing a guest. Then my mom freaked saying how awkward it would look with FI and I sitting with 3 people at the <strong>head table of 14</strong>. I personally don't have an issue with it but I just want everyone to be comfortable. <strong>The head table is attached to the ground so a smaller table is no option</strong>. And a sweetheart table is out due to the fact that there is absolutely NO room for one. What would you ladies do? TIA also sorry for not using paragraphs. Tk mobile sucks.
Posted by JordynLeighx3[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That seems strange. What does the venue do for couples with smaller bridal parties? Or larger parties? Or people who just don't want a long head table? I feel like they should have some other options for you.

</div>

JordynLeighx3

I never asked about removing it because they seem to put a charge on everything you want. I could look into it though! The room we have is set to have 300 people and we have 300 people RSVPing yes which would leave us eating on the dance floor or at the bar or hoping two people don't show so we have a place to sit.

JordynLeighx3

This is I believe there first wedding, it's usually just a conference room which would explain the large table.

pkontk

Instead of using the head table for the WP, why not use it for family instead?  You can do you and your FI, parents and grandparents on each side, and maybe a few other VIPs.  That way all the WP members can sit with their SOs and/or dates.

ETA if the girlfriend doesn't know many other people, or only knows those in the WP, she might not feel super comfortable with a table full of strangers.  Just my two cents.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to Re:Seating arrangements:
[QUOTE]I never asked about removing it because they seem to put a charge on everything you want. I could look into it though! The room we have is set to have 300 people and we have 300 people RSVPing yes which would leave us eating on the dance floor or at the bar or hoping two people don't show so we have a place to sit.
Posted by JordynLeighx3[/QUOTE]

I would definitely ask about removing it. If they try to charge you an exorbitant amount just for removing a table, I would try to negotiate that down or do away with the charge completely. I think it's ridiculous for a venue to have a huge table on risers in the room and then not be willing to get rid of it for events.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-arrangements-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6835ef90-8659-4f2c-9aca-6c11c2ec5ce8Post:6461e584-b66e-4977-9582-19024c053346">Re: Seating arrangements</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Instead of using the head table for the WP, why not use it for family instead?</strong>  You can do you and your FI, parents and grandparents on each side, and maybe a few other VIPs.  That way all the WP members can sit with their SOs and/or dates. ETA if the girlfriend doesn't know many other people, or only knows those in the WP, she might not feel super comfortable with a table full of strangers.  Just my two cents.
Posted by pkontk[/QUOTE]

This was going to be my suggestion.

Have the head table consist of you and your FI, your parents, grandparents, siblings, etc.

DramaGeek

You may want to rethink the whole "eating on a riser" thing anyway.  I've done that - it was awful.  A head table is bad enough with people staring, but up on the riser?  Oy, it was the 
Bridal Party Dinner Show.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-arrangements-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6835ef90-8659-4f2c-9aca-6c11c2ec5ce8Post:8653950f-29b6-436a-b2e2-44152d6726cb">Re:Seating arrangements</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Seating arrangements : Summer, OP said this is the venue's first wedding.  It's likely they've never run into this issue before.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

I know but I still find it weird that they agree to have a wedding (and possibly other events) there but aren't willing to work with their clients to move the table if necessary.

Simply Fated

First thing you should do... talk to them about removing/moving the risers with the table. Or something. If this place wants to branch out and start doing weddings, they need to be more accomodating.

if there is seriously nothing they can do... go with your plan where you have another seat for the bridal party with their dates for eating dinner. Don't listen to your mom because it's a silly thing to be concerned about. I've seen tons of weddings and it's so rare for everyone to be sitting down at that big table at the same time during dinner service.
Chances are, you might not be sitting down during the entire dinner service, either.
So, there is a chance there will be empty seats, anyway.

dogula

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-arrangements-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6835ef90-8659-4f2c-9aca-6c11c2ec5ce8Post:40e95ff8-3ac0-4925-9ee9-e35efdb198f0">Re: Seating arrangements</a>:
If you are having a head table then the whole bridal party should be up there with you during dinner.  If this girl doesn't even remotely know anyone else at the wedding then try to seat her at a table with some people who do know each other and who are talkers.  That way they will carry the conversation and she won't have to worry about it.  Plus it's just for dinner and then she can get up and go wherever.
[QUOTE]First thing you should do... talk to them about removing/moving the risers with the table. Or something . If this place wants to branch out and start doing weddings, they need to be more accomodating. if there is seriously nothing they can do... go with your plan where you have another seat for the bridal party with their dates for eating dinner. Don't listen to your mom because it's a silly thing to be concerned about. I've seen tons of weddings and it's so rare for everyone to be sitting down at that big table at the same time during dinner service. Chances are, you might not be sitting down during the entire dinner service, either. So, there is a chance there will be empty seats, anyway.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]