Rehearsal Dinner: Who Too Who Not Too!?

[Deleted User]

My Fiance's parents want to host a larger rehearsal dinner for up to 75+. They believe that ettiquette says everyone from out of town, family, etc. should be invited. We have a lot of guests from out of town coming to the wedding. I'm into more of an intimate sit down dinner rather than pre-wedding bash. Who should definitely be on the invite? Do you have to stick to just those at the church? How far should you go when creating this guest list? Thanks for the help!!

Mrs.B6302007

Must include anyone who is IN the wedding (officiant as well).
As far as OOT guests, that's up to the hosts of the RD. If they can swing the bill, great.  If not, including OOTs is not expected.

beatlesgirl25

It should also include the significant others of WP members if they are OOT. But 75 is a buttload of people. Still, if your future IL's are paying, they have the final say. Have you talked with them about your feelings on a smaller dinner?

PsyDet 2155

Ditto other posters who said whomever is paying decides on the guest list.

sarabellam

Have you expressed your desire for a small, intimate sit-down dinner with members of the WP, their significant others, the officiant and spouse (if applicable), and parents? Ultimately, if your FIL's are hosting, they have the ultimate say in the guest list, but it would be nice if they took your desires into account. What are your FI's thoughts on this?

Badgerengr

There are a whole lot of O's in your subject line.

stargazerlily82479

Smaller, intimate dinners can be nice, but keep in mind that in some families, it is the tradition to invite all the OOT family (and sometimes friends as well) - I know that is the case in my family and FI's family. If that's the case for your FI's family, it may be best to go with the larger group - it's just a few hours, and well worth not upsetting or offending your FI's extended family the evening before your wedding!

mwhitson14

Who to, who not to. That's all I got.