Am I supposed to drive everyone to the wedding?

StacyMetal

I got a limo bus for the bridal party, now my mom is saying I'm supposed to pay for busses to ship everyone who is invited to and from. Is this true? Will ppl think I'm rude if I don't provide transportation?

LeiselEB

Not at all required. If you can afford it, it'd be nice - but unless everyone is staying at the same hotel, it wouldn't really be possible. 

tjah

I would be pretty shocked (and impressed) if I went to a wedding where we were all taken around like that. I definitely think that's above and beyond what's necessary. The only time I could see really considering it, is if the reception and ceremony are super far apart, easily get lost in between, etc, etc...

LeiselEB

Logistically, there are a lot of reasons why you SHOULDN'T do this. People may need to leave at different times, could be staying at different places, etc. Don't stress over it

Avion22

We had a shuttle available for guests to use to get from the hotel to the venue (one location for ceremony and reception) and back to the hotel area.  The majority of our guests stayed in hotels within a block of each other.   Others were of course welcome to use the shuttle (we had a few people take taxis from their hotel to our hotel so they could use the shuttle, then taxiied home at the end of the night).  Our venue was a vineyard in the country on some narrow back roads with no street lights, and ALL (literally every single one) of our guests were from out of town.   

It is certainly NOT a requirement to do this!!!  It made sense for us given our situation, and we found an inexpensive way to fit this into the budget (used university transit service buses and drivers).   But you do not HAVE to do this, and people will not think you are cheap if you don't do it.  Sometimes it just doesn't make logistical sense, or there is no inexpensive way to do it.   As a guest, I generally assume that I will be responsible for my own transportation and I plan accordingly.

StacyMetal

This whole thing is just stressing me out. It's like every little thing I get done I get yet ANOTHER question about , will you be having this will you be having that?? A first we were gonna do beer and wine and cash bar and my mom got mad saying she doesn't like beer or wine so we have open bar now. Then it was, well did you get a corsage and boutonnière for us parents and a hundred other things that we are just "supposed" to do. Just cuz my fiancé has a ton of money I feel like everyone automatically assumes we are going to make this a red carpet event and its making me mad and stressing me out.
n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-supposed-to-drive-everyone-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:685d5b2d-c2a5-49a4-aa46-06d6d991c8c6Post:6cdf16d2-26e1-41c1-a086-5520d581b3ca">Re: Am I supposed to drive everyone to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be pretty shocked (and impressed) if I went to a wedding where we were all taken around like that. I definitely think that's above and beyond what's necessary. The only time I could see really considering it, is if the reception and ceremony are super far apart, easily get lost in between, etc, etc...
Posted by tjah[/QUOTE]

StacyMetal

Thank you for your reply you have been so helpful.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-supposed-to-drive-everyone-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:685d5b2d-c2a5-49a4-aa46-06d6d991c8c6Post:b9f5b51b-3f52-4b76-aa0f-4b252699f406">Re: Am I supposed to drive everyone to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a shuttle available for guests to use to get from the hotel to the venue (one location for ceremony and reception) and back to the hotel area.  The majority of our guests stayed in hotels within a block of each other.   Others were of course welcome to use the shuttle (we had a few people take taxis from their hotel to our hotel so they could use the shuttle, then taxiied home at the end of the night).  Our venue was a vineyard in the country on some narrow back roads with no street lights, and ALL (literally every single one) of our guests were from out of town.    It is certainly NOT a requirement to do this!!!  It made sense for us given our situation, and we found an inexpensive way to fit this into the budget (used university transit service buses and drivers).   But you do not HAVE to do this, and people will not think you are cheap if you don't do it.  Sometimes it just doesn't make logistical sense, or there is no inexpensive way to do it.   As a guest, I generally assume that I will be responsible for my own transportation and I plan accordingly.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

OliveOilsMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-supposed-to-drive-everyone-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:685d5b2d-c2a5-49a4-aa46-06d6d991c8c6Post:489c36f5-2de6-4c4a-ac74-86ba27c3f847">Re: Am I supposed to drive everyone to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]This whole thing is just stressing me out. It's like every little thing I get done I get yet ANOTHER question about , will you be having this will you be having that?? A first we were gonna do beer and wine and cash bar and my mom got mad saying she doesn't like beer or wine so we have open bar now. Then it was, well did you get a corsage and boutonnière for us parents and a hundred other things that we are just "supposed" to do. Just cuz my fiancé has a ton of money I feel like everyone automatically assumes we are going to make this a red carpet event and its making me mad and stressing me out. n Response to Re: Am I supposed to drive everyone to the wedding? :
Posted by StacyMetal[/QUOTE]

If your mom is stressing you out duringthe planning, then stop sharing plans with her.  It seems like you and FI are paying for the whole wedding.  Next time she brings something up, then simply say, "It's being taken care of, no need to worry."  Then change the subject.

Also, it is common to get parents of the B&G coursages & bouts.  And a cash bar is rude, you should only provide what you can afford.  If that is wine & beer only, then that is all that is served, guests just wouldn't get the option to purchase anything.