XP: including groom's parents and stepparent on invite

eviltwin13

We have a dilemma that most of the etiquette sources we've looked at can't seem to help us with. Maybe someone out there has had this situation and come up with a solution?
My parents are hosting the wedding but we would like to include my fiance's parents on the invite as well. His parents divorced & mother has remarried and taken the stepfather's last name. From what we've read, the stepparent doesn't usually get listed on the invitation in this situation, but we are wondering what to do if we DO want to include him.
Do we do this?
Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parentsrequest the honor of your presenceat the wedding of their daughterBride's NametoGroom's Nameson of Biological MotherBiological Fathertogether with Stepfatheretc. etc.
or is there another way we haven't found?
Soooo many sites address what to do if the bride's family has all different sorts of permutations, but we haven't found much on the groom's family when they aren't the "hosts".
Thanks!

MattsPenguin

Well, I listed my stepdad on mine.  I think that this could be a possiblity

John Smith
son of Mr and Mrs William Doe
Mr Paul Smith

slwager

I could be wrong but I think in today's times it's proper to do what is preferential to the groom.  Is he close to his stepfather?  Does he truly want him on there?

My stepmom is on the invite.  It's a little different because she and my father are payign the bulk of the costs but our invite is pretty complicated because FI's parents are divorced to.  Ours is something like

B mom
Stepmom and Dad
invite you to the wedding of
B&G
son of
G mom
Gstepmom and Gdad

LuluP82

I think that's a bit much. My DH's dad is remarried as is my dad. Since my dad and step mom were hosting, but I wanted my mom on there, we did it:

Ms Lulu's Mom
Mr and Mrs Lulu's dad
Request the honour of your presence blah blah
Lulu
and
Lulu's DH
son of DH's dad, DH's mom

We didn't include his dad's wife.

If you wanted to, I think it would look better to do "son of Mr. FI's Dad's Last name and Mr and Mrs Mom's New last name".  Since presumably your FI has the same last name as his dad, most reasonable ppl can figure it out.

eviltwin13

Thanks for the helpful responses so far! He's had the stepfather in his life since he was 10, so it's not as though this is a stranger or peripheral person in his life. On the other hand, he does not think of the stepfather as a father figure, and reacted somewhat emotionally when I suggested doing "son of Mr. and Mrs. Stepfather's Name" followed by his bio dad's name. He didn't want the stepfather listed before his father. He's totally unfamiliar with the ins and outs of how traditional invitations work (as was I before I started learning about them!) so he didn't know that he had to list his mother's name first or that if he listed his bio parents together, it might look like they were still married.

He is going to talk to his family & see what they think. If it would offend his mother and/or stepfather to omit the stepdad's name, we'll include it somewhere. Our primary concern is making everyone feel included who wants to be. Guess we could always list the full family on the program somewhere, if not on the invite.

MissKate2011

Etiquette dictates that you do not put two people together on the same line unless they are a couple.

So this is how it's supposed to go etiquette wise::

Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Evil Twin 13 (no title and no last name if same as parents)
and
Mr. Evil Twin 13 (includes title and last name)
son of
Mr and Mrs. Stepdad and Biological Mom
and
Mr.  Biological father
ETC.

Hope this helps :-)
Edited because I thought it was the Dad who was remarried!
Here's the link from Emily Post on Invitation wording:
http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/wedding-invitations-and-announcements/337-formal-wedding-invitation-variations-and-samples

MissKate2011

Do be honest 90% of people don't  really care too much about invitation wording.  They just want to know the when, where and who.  If you decide to put the father first, I'm sure nobody will care or even realize!  Just don't put them together on the same line, it implies they're still married!