Guests Who Don't RSVP

Andrea.Matillano

What's the etiquette for guests who don't RSVP? Should I contact each and every single one of them and see if they are coming? Do I do this the day after the RSVP date? Or do I just assume that they aren't? We still have about a week until our deadline! Many of our guests haven't RSVPed yet...I know they still have time....but just in case

NOLAbridealmost

You should contact each of them to see if they are coming.  Give it a couple days to account for people who's RSVPs might be tied up in the mail and then make the call. 

Just because they didn't RSVP doesn't mean they won't show up on the day of the wedding and that could be a disaster. 

[Deleted User]

Yes, call them up. I would wait a week or so after the rsvp date. You will likely have some people who rsvp late. I know we definitely did.

Rosie109

Definitely wait until your RSVP date has passed for a few days. Nothing more silly than a bride to be bugging everyone PRIOR to the RSVP date.

baystateapple

I had to track down about 10 people after the RSVP date passed.  It happens to all of us.  Give it a couple of days, though.  Some people don't put the RSVP into the mail until the "respond-by" date.  Weird, but whatever.

Avion22

I would wait about a week before calling, unless you need to do it faster to get info to your caterer. 

But yeah, you just call and politely say that you haven't received their RSVP yet, and since you need the info for your caterer, were wondering if they planned on attending?

[Deleted User]

In my whole life I will never understand why it is so difficult to check a box and stick an addressed and stamped envelope into the mailbox attached to your house...but that being said, I am 1.5 weeks until my RSVP date and waiting on about 25 people... grummmbbllleeeee

But to answer your question, same as PPs.Wait until the day passes and then call them (or have your FI,  mother or FMIL call them) depending on your relationship with them... I sent my FMIL a little chart of her people that havent responded yet just in case she happens to talk to them she can gently remind them to mail in their RSVP card.... but other than that..it's just a (super annoying) waiting game

banana468

Yes you should call.

You never know when someone actually DID respond and the USPS just lost the envelope.

Or worse - what if the USPS lost your invitation?

missy68

Awww - look at little baby banana! How adorable!

pumpkinpumpkin

Um...well, what's your other option? I'm pretty sure calling them is your only option. Unless you're okay with not knowing how many people are going to show up on your wedding day.
Also, you probably should have your first and last name in your username.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dont-rsvp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:695a024d-82c3-44f9-ba65-cb35417b7e2aPost:8b4dc3ba-b49b-42b3-a944-b7206bcce2d3">Re: Guests Who Don't RSVP</a>:
[QUOTE]In my whole life I will never understand why it is so difficult to check a box and <strong>stick an addressed and stamped envelope into the mailbox attached to your house</strong>...but that being said, I am 1.5 weeks until my RSVP date and waiting on about 25 people... grummmbbllleeeee But to answer your question, same as PPs.Wait until the day passes and then call them (or have your FI,  mother or FMIL call them) depending on your relationship with them... I sent my FMIL a little chart of her people that havent responded yet just in case she happens to talk to them she can gently remind them to mail in their RSVP card.... but other than that..it's just a (super annoying) waiting game :)
Posted by JLil120[/QUOTE]

We don't have a mailbox attached to our house.  All the newer neighborhoods here do grouped mailboxes.  Ours is down the street.  Not saying that it's still all that hard to get something out in the mail, but we do basically have to go to the post office to mail something out.  I actually did miss the RSVP deadline for a friends wedding because I was sick and couldn't get to the post office.  I did call her the day after the deadline to let her know I couldn't go, but still. 

Sometimes people are just lazy, sometimes their responses could have gotten lost in the mail,  etc...the point is you won't know until you call them.  So yes, wait about a week after your deadline date and then call them to find out.

pumpkinpumpkin

Also, the trend now is to use an email or telephone RSVP. So sticking your response in a mailbox isn't always the way it's done now.

Andrea.Matillano

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dont-rsvp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:695a024d-82c3-44f9-ba65-cb35417b7e2aPost:8b4dc3ba-b49b-42b3-a944-b7206bcce2d3">Re: Guests Who Don't RSVP</a>:
[QUOTE]In my whole life I will never understand why it is so difficult to check a box and stick an addressed and stamped envelope into the mailbox attached to your house...but that being said, I am 1.5 weeks until my RSVP date and waiting on about 25 people... grummmbbllleeeee But to answer your question, same as PPs.Wait until the day passes and then call them (or have your FI,  mother or FMIL call them) depending on your relationship with them... <strong>I sent my FMIL a little chart of her people that havent responded yet just in case she happens to talk to them she can gently remind them to mail in their RSVP card</strong>.... but other than that..it's just a (super annoying) waiting game :)
Posted by JLil120[/QUOTE]

That's a good idea! I will definitely keep that in mind!

Andrea.Matillano

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dont-rsvp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:695a024d-82c3-44f9-ba65-cb35417b7e2aPost:7591118d-4909-4bfd-a612-e96dd55a1838">Re: Guests Who Don't RSVP</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes you should call. You never know when someone actually DID respond and the USPS just lost the envelope. Or worse - what if the USPS lost your invitation?
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]


That's true! I never thought about the USPS losing the envelope!

Andrea.Matillano

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dont-rsvp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:695a024d-82c3-44f9-ba65-cb35417b7e2aPost:83fcfaf2-8541-44dc-8cb4-490954125a0e">Re: Guests Who Don't RSVP</a>:
[QUOTE]Um...well, what's your other option? I'm pretty sure calling them is your only option. Unless you're okay with not knowing how many people are going to show up on your wedding day. Also, you probably should have your first and last name in your username.
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

Aw, thanks for the concern! I'm okay with my username how it is though. :)

lindsay5432

I had my mom call some of the guests who didn't rsvp.  One couple never received the invitation in the first place -- it must have been lost in the mail.